Preaching To the Choir

I found myself very much straitened before I had got to the middle of my sermon, and was at length brought to a full stop. I had only power to make a public confession of my weakness, and that I was utterly unable to proceed. The Lord gave me however at the same time to hope that it might be good for me and for my people that I should be thus humbled, so that I was not much disconcerted, nor has it given me a moment's uneasiness ever since. Only I hope it will be an abiding memento to me to be afraid of leaning to my own understanding, and make me go up the pulpit steps for the future, with a deeper conviction both of my unworthiness and my inability.
- John Newton

Richard Cecil, The Life of John Newton, edited by Marylynn Rousse (Christian Focus Publications, 2000; originally published circa 1810), p. 135.

I did a risky thing this week. After last week in which I found myself wondering about the effectiveness of my preaching, I opened myself up to God's correction, and asked a group of men who I admire to help me understand where I might have gotten off track.

The reason I call this a risky act is because for a pastor, preaching is very much tied to our self-concept of who we are. There are many things that a smaller church pastor does each week - the phrase "and all duties not otherwise assigned" plays out in a thousand ways - but it is the preaching event that seems to matter most.

When a church contacts you and wants to evaluate you as a prospective pastor, they do not ask to see how you managed a ridiculously small budget. I have never had a search committee question about why we work on making sure the people who are members are actually involved. No one even asks me about my favorite things - interacting with the people God has placed us with. They want copies of sermons and "video would be great."

Week in and week out, the sermon has the most potential to help people examine themselves in light of God's Word as the church gathered. If you can preach well, in most cases that is sufficient for people to overlook many other weaknesses. And so, when you get a feeling that you might be off track, it can shake your confidence.

My friends are all pastors, who are spread out across the country. With the exception of the site's owner, I have never met any of them. But I know their hearts because I hear their stories of struggle and success as we daily try to do a job that is impossible without the constant reliance on the Holy Spirit.

I really likened the preaching act to a physical sports analogy such as hitting or pitching a baseball. You can still be the same player, have the same physical skills, possess the same amount of strength, but when you have a change in your mechanics it becomes hard to do that which is easy. And then if you let that get into your head, now you have real trouble. I was afraid I was suffering a Rick Ankiel moment (St Louis Cardinal pitcher who inexplicably lost the ability to throw strikes).

So all week long I sought their council. I explained what I felt and they probed and prodded. I explained some more and they questioned and suggested. The interaction helped me focus. I decided then to do something I hadn't done in a long time. I wrote the entire sermon out in a manuscript after I had done the powerpoint. Normally I do not use notes at all, relying on the ppt slides to keep my on track.

I have plenty of notes from my studies on a passage. It is not unusual for me to generate well over 50 pages of notes during the week, and if I am preaching through a book, by the time I get through I would have several hundred pages of notes. This past Sunday I had about 60 pages that I used to write 6.

Immediately before I went to bed, I sent several of them a copy of the sermon, and I posted a copy on a couple of my blogs. My hope was that if I really was off base in my interpretation and application, or muddled in my thoughts, that one of them would catch me before I preached Sunday. But I felt good about the sermon.

The reports trickled in. "Looks good but could have a stronger close." "There's enough there for two sermons." "That will communicate well, preach it." "I'd spread your application out over the sermon instead of leaving it all until the end."

Most of these I read after the fact.

When I preached, just before I did something I never, ever do anymore. I asked the congregation to stand with me for the reading of God's Word. And we prayed. And I prayed and gave it away to God. John Newton's quote above, which I had read during the week, was ringing in my head. "Lord, if I falter, let it be because I am in awe of You and Your Word."

I won't blame preaching too long on Him. :)

My bad - I got excited. ;)

I am so grateful to the men I serve with and their help. And I am in way over my head, but my feet are on the Rock.