Jimmie Hill Funeral Message

We're sure going to miss her. I don't know how many people I have talked to since Jimmie's passing who didn't say two things - the first words out of everyone's mouth was some variation of this - "she was the sweetest person." Oh they might have said "very kind-hearted,", or "the most compassionate," or "she was good for a guaranteed smile every time," but in some way they expressed what a loss it is to have the person who carried that smile, who made us feel loved and cared for, leave us.

There's no doubt that she had a rough few years here at the end. When I saw her at church a couple of weeks ago, she could barely make it to the door. After apologizing to me for taking so long to get to the back door and me telling her not to be silly, she sat down for a moment, struggling to catch her breath and then proceeded to ask me about my grandson.

And for the last time in this world, I got to see that smile.

That's the other thing everyone mentioned. "That sweet, loving smile" someone said, and then someone else pointed out that Jimmie had it almost all the time. Friends, think about that for a moment. Especially those of you who knew her far better than I ever did. If that was the natural way Jimmie approached life, with all that she had gone through, was going through, she must have known something that gave her the ability to keep that smile.

This life - It goes by so fast. So fast you don't even realize it until you're forced to slow down, or on days like this, to stop long enough to remember.

The Bible says it this way:

1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. 2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. 3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. Eccl 3:1-4 (NLT)

For Jimmie Hill it began October 4, 1938 in Magnolia, Mississippi. Just to remind those of you who weren't there, or anywhere then, times were hard. 20% of America was out of work and especially in areas that produced raw goods like Mississippi cotton towns. But like most folks, they pulled together and made it through.

I don't really know much about Jimmie's childhood, growth to adulthood, as I've only been here and known her a little over 15 years now. Those of you who have read the well written obituary have seen that she was preceded to her rest by her sister Clarice. Others also went ahead of her into eternity - her husband, and son-in-law.

She left quite a few loved ones behind. Three children - daughters Theresa and Cindy, and her son Larry. Then there are the grandchildren and great grandchildren who live on to carry her memory, and I hope also, some of the qualities that made Jimmie so special.

When the Bible talks about there being a time for everything, as usual, it says a lot while also only saying a little. How do you even begin to say it all? You begin as a child, and the world seems magical. You look at a beautiful flower or a beautiful sunset and are told by adults that it won't last.

And yet you, in the wondrous hope that is childhood, say back to them, "there will be other flowers, other sunsets and they may be more beautiful."

They may just be. There may be more beauty to come.

But we go into adulthood with but a faint memory of that childhood hope and carry it into our marriage, into having children and making a family. And in that part of life some days are beautiful and some are not. As the obituary described her though, Jimmie was someone who knew who she was and was going to do her best for herself and for her children.

Jimmie experienced the joys of  having her children - I don't know if you who are blessed in that way ever stop to realize just what a blessing it is. Sometimes in making a living and giving everything you have to just get by, we forget how precious a gift they are - until we become grandparents and then everything those kids do seems amazing.

Well when the Scripture talks about "a time to plant and a time to harvest" it's not just talking about crops. Giving of yourself, giving up (or planting) so your children can get - to make sure they have what they need and a little bit more than what you had - so you can enjoy seeing them grow (or your harvest) is what drove Jimmie to work all those years.

I've been trying to decide if I'd have wanted her to be my Supervisor at work. I have the feeling it would have been a two edged sword. She'd have definitely treated me with her kindness and compassion, but she also probably would have expected that same drive and purpose she had in life to show up in my work habits. I suspect she was that way about her family too.

Jimmie was like many of us who want so much for our children and grandchildren. For most we cannot make a great difference materially, so we focus on trying to give things that matter a lot more. A clear sense of what is right and what is wrong. The importance and value of hard work. The worth of family. And then the one that matters most of all.

An example of Christ-like faith. For a Baptist preacher I've probably held off longer than some expected to mention Jimmie's faith.

In a way, that was my deliberate choice, because I've found that those, like Jimmie, who live out their belief in Jesus as their Savior, as their Lord, and who follow His teachings in every area don't really need that shouted out at times like this. You know Who she loved.

As someone who prayed with and prayed for Jimmie, and as someone who has talked with her on quite a few occasions about her life, her family, and what she wanted for them and out of this life, let me just say this clearly. Jimmie Hill's faith in Jesus Christ has meant that when she closed her eyes in this life, she opened them a moment later in heaven.

The Bible makes it plain that for anyone who surrenders their life to Christ through confession of their sins, acceptance of forgiveness for those sins, and shows the effects of that through a life of obedience to the teachings of Jesus, to those who have done this - at the end of this life, something better awaits. Something more beautiful than we could imagine, even as a child.

In an encounter with someone else who had lost their loved one - in her case her brother named Lazarus, Jesus Himself makes it plain.

25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. 26 Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” John 11:25-26 (NLT)

The Bible also tells us that unless “unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Matt 18:3 (NLT)

"Turn from your sins," means decide you have had enough of life as it is, with a constant rub between what you want and what you know is right in God's eyes - and you agree with God that you are wrong and need His forgiveness for a new direction - out of darkness and into His light.

"Become like little children..." - that means you have to rely on someone else because on some level you know you can't make it without them.

Praise God, Jimmie had made that choice. I don't know when and where, I don't know if she was baptized by immersion or sprinkled, I don't know whether she preferred the KJV or the NIV or some other version of the Bible. I don't need to know any of that, because by the way she lived her life, by the words she spoke and the heart she had for Jesus, I know she lives with Him.

So when Jimmie fell asleep, that smile reached its destination. That something she knew that kept that smile on her face turned out to be that she knew Someone - Jesus, who had made her a promise a long time ago, that when the time to live was over, and the time to die had come, He'd carry her in His arms, home. Hear the words of Jimmie's Savior - and yours if you'll turn from your sins and believe in Him

1 “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. 2 There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? 3 When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.   John 14:1-3 (NLT)

God guaranteed that through the life, death, and resurrection of His Son Jesus. So when it's that "time to die"

21 So you see, just as death came into the world through a man, now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man. 22 Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life. 1 Cor 15:21-22 (NLT)

New Life! No more sorrow! No more heartache! No more troubles. No more pain!

I still can't help thinking about the last time I saw Jimmie. She was so pale, so weak so could barely catch a labored breath.

But now?

Happy, whole once more.

Praise God.

So what now for those of us left here?

We can take comfort in knowing that Jimmie is home, is whole, and that her smile will never cease again.

And too, to the extent that Jimmie's example points us toward a life lived trusting in Christ and affects us so deeply that we want what she had, Jimmie Hill can live on, in us. When we meet people with arms wide open; when we treat others with love and compassion, when we give of ourselves so that others might have their needs met, she will live on.

But don't forget why she smiled. You can have that smile, but only if you embrace the reason for it. There's a God who loves you so much that he'll love you - he has loved you from before you were born - every day of your life - and if you'll let Him - will love you forever with Him in eternity. If you want that smile take a moment to meet its maker as I pray.

Rollercoasters

I sat down this week and tried to find a label to find a frame to put what I've experienced this year in and after racking my brain - or what's left of it - I think roller-coaster will do.

Apparently God has chosen to place me in two situations in which you can feel like a winner or feel like a failure - and do nothing differently either time. I am living solely by faith in Him. I'm not able to make the differences I want to see happen. But He is and I am trying to live every day through His power, grace, and mercy.

Take the church situation - We continue to see God doing amazing things here. We have huge holes in many places and are a shadow of what we once were - yet God provides - God... ACTS - in ways that cannot be attributed to anything we have done. We're feeding about 130 people every week. We've seen people far from God draw near. And yet there are weeks when I prepare the same way I did for the "good years" and very few show up for worship. The feeling of failure is real to me. I defeat it with the power of prayer, the knowledge of God's absolute faithfulness and ever-abiding presence, and the companionship of my brothers and sisters at New Hope who labor with me.

Things happen. On a Wednesday night when I'm absolutely exhausted from a hard day at school with kids pressing against control and "feedback" from adults that's not uplifting (that'd be sarcasm), I rush to church to help prepare the meals for delivery. A fellow New Hope pilgrim helps me plate the meals, another has already cooked the sauce and started the water and green beans, others have affixed labels to the plates and laid them out. Another comes in and we divide the meals and leave to deliver. I come back to get more. Two people jump up and fix them and I leave again.

I finally find the home of a woman whose neighbor came to New Hope and talked to Bunny about having someone to visit her. She had moved down here from Georgia and had really hard times. She needs family/community - she needs the love of Christ. I had missed worship practice already and was about to be late for prayer. I stayed 20 minutes and listened. And prayed. And left her a meal.

Coming back, we begin our prayer and Bible study which this week centers on a comparative study of Islam. Only we never get there, as a visitor (who had been drinking "but not hard liquor") was trying to justify himself and put his girlfriend in her place. I was so proud of all the New Hope folks around that table. When the visitor tried to use the "you are judging me" card - everyone to a person acknowledged that they too were sinners saved purely by God's grace. When he argued "I know I am going to heaven" everyone rejoiced hoping that was true and refusing to box with that straw-man. We continued to talk about God's grace through Jesus and a total surrender of life to Him.

It was exhilarating.

We were who God had called us to be, doing exactly what God had placed us there to do - point to His Son and the surpassing greatness of the cross. I got to see what God has done in the hearts of the people of New Hope who I love with all my heart. They were kind, compassionate, loving, and completely grounded in the grace of Jesus Christ - and the necessity of it for everyone. I wish I had videoed it so I could have played it back for them. They were instruments of God's grace. They were agents of reconciliation. They were disciples of Jesus being true to the commandment of "love your neighbor as yourself."

It wasn't a Damascus road the man was on though. He grew frustrated with his girlfriend and really our interaction. We were not there to fight. We were there to love as Jesus loved. He wasn't ready to hear it so he left. (We are all praying he returns.) But his girlfriend came back in and stayed, opening her heart to us and admitting her need for Christ. We finished praying for/with her and I left in amazement.

Rollercoasters.

When God's Servant Is Tired

It's Sunday morning, I'm in my favorite place getting ready to do what God has called me to do. And yet I am fighting waves of feelings of unworthiness, inability, and fear. I've been preaching since 1991, so there's little reason for a sudden lack of confidence. I've been serving the people of New Hope now for 12 years, so they know me well and my strengths and weaknesses better than any group of people on earth, and they love me anyway. And I cherish them.

The irony is that I am preaching on what faith is today, out of a passage that I preached so many times when I was first starting out - filling in different churches all around Macon GA, that Bunny and Sean not only could have preached it, but they were tired of hearing it. :) I know this text and have gone to it many many times in my life to remind myself just what true faith is.

But I don't feel all that strong today. In fact I feel very weak.

I think I'm tired.

We've been in a battle to make New Hope all God wants it to be for going on two years now. There are fewer of us here, but we're doing more ministry than ever. I'm working full time at school doing the most exhausting, most demanding job I have ever had. Weekends are just that time when you catch up on what you couldn't get done during the week. And I'm tired.

I'm rereading my notes for this morning, and I wrote "Don't trust your feelings. They will lie to you. Trust in God - totally - in everything - for everything. Whether you feel like it or not."

And the Holy Spirit just rapped on my noggin to say "practice what you preach, preacher."

So that's what I'm going to do today. I am believing that God will bring strength into my weakness. I am believing that God's Holy Spirit will speak through me. I am believing that because we are here today, that God will be glorified and something significant will happen that will alter someone's life for eternity.

And I'll do all that... by faith.

Shout!

Advent. It's a season that can get you to examine things you've been covering over and pretending not to notice. I've been trying to follow the readings for each day even during the busyness of teaching and pastoral work. Advent is preparation.

Behind the pulpit, and in the classroom, a lack of preparation will cause you to quickly experience fear. And that fear robs you of the effectiveness you need to speak and explain. It almost paralyzes me. The feeling is of being tied to the train tracks and seeing the light of an approaching locomotive. I just cannot preach or teach off the cuff. I have to prepare. Advent is preparation.

Sure, in the back of everyone's mind this time of year Charlie Brown and Linus are on a darkened stage. People know the story of Christmas well. But they don't necessarily know why Christmas matters or why Advent matters. Advent is preparation.

In my new dual role as pastor/teacher, I'm learning more about how the world is working and my research is returning a clear finding of "not good." "A new generation arose knowing not Joseph" wrote the scribes. Well, new generations have risen believing that the world revolves around them and that there's noting more to life than what they can see or hold in their hands. Working with kids every day, each of whom are precious in God's sight and dear to my heart, I can see the effects of society's message. And one day Jesus will return and set everything right. Advent is preparation.

"A voice said 'Shout!'"


"Shout that people are like the grass.
Their beauty fades as quickly
as the flowers in a field."

Advent is preparation for life here, and life eternal with Jesus. It's acknowledging that some things God has done are simple yet complex, warm and fuzzy, but incredibly costly, and the effects that we can see may be only a fraction of what God has done. A baby was born. No big deal, right? Babies get born every day. But this one changed everything.

One day people will wake up. Maybe it'll be a week day. Or maybe the weekend will see Him come. But one day Jesus will come, not as a babe in Bethlehem, but as the leader of Heaven's Armies - as King.

Advent is preparation for that day when the Shepherd of Israel returns. To His enemies His wrath will come. To His beloved... "He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with her young." I LOVE that picture.

But while we wait...

"And so dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in His sight."


Make every effort.

Advent is preparation. 

Take time this weekend to worship Him and study His Word.

"I don't get it."

That phrase haunts me at times.

There are many other times though that people don't speak up and say something like that - choosing to walk away unable to comprehend and apply what they've been taught - and that's scarier.

At school, we have a highly structured routine of "assessments" to help the teacher discover where their students are and how they are progressing. There are "diagnostic" assessments for initial understanding of what they know. There are assessments along the way called "formative" to see what they are learning. Then there are "summative" assessments that see what they have learned. As a teacher, it's thrilling to see them progress to "mastery" of a block of knowledge. The flip side of that?

Heartbreak when they don't.

Life doesn't provide us the luxury of such a structured understanding of what we know, what we are learning, and what we have mastered. We can be thrown into circumstances that test our faith that we have never imagined would occur. We can be asked to make a decision that is life-altering without any real expertise in that area. And we can, and will experience failure and heartbreak - some of us many times over the course of a lifetime.

Life is a test.

And yet, we have the key.

Jesus.

Jesus.

Jesus.

I'm ready to talk about the feeding of the 5,000 today. The famous passages in the Bible, the flannel-board picture we all have in our heads - the little boy and his lunch - everything that story is for most of us is already part of our understanding.

And yet, the disciples and the religious people didn't "get it."

It was God peeking into their souls and dropping a test onto their desks to see what they ACTUALLY believed. Not just knew - believed to the point of living it out.

Is God good? Can He be trusted? Can I rely on Him for my life's direction, purpose, and provision?

I've given tests in the month I've taught third grade that very few passed. Well in this case out of maybe 25,000 people...

Only one did.

I'll bet he'd be about third grade age.

"Sure, take my lunch. Something about you tells me you'll know what to do with it. I'll just sit over here and watch."

and then...

"I love fish sandwiches!"

Friends, God can't use what you have for His glory and purpose in this world until you open your hands and release it back to him.

Life is a test. How are you doing?

Sundays Are the Hardest

Our friend Allan.

For the last three weeks, I've been a bivocational pastor. Full time third grade teacher (long term substitute) and full time pastor to the people and church I love. This bifurcated role has been necessary to help New Hope during a lean season. It's been a tough year from the beginning. We've been hit with a lot including some long time friends departure. But God has miraculously (and I do not throw that word around lightly) provided for our needs and even provisioned us to do more ministry this year than last despite it all. Hopefully once I get paid regularly for substitute teaching I can relieve some of the intense pressure New Hope is under every week.

We are truly living and serving by faith.

I love both jobs and definitely feel that God is using me to change the lives of 16 third graders. And there's no question that His call is still real in my life to be a pastor. I get excited every Saturday night thinking about seeing what God is going to do at New Hope the next day. Today was a good day - great worship, sermon went well, and we had several visitors who seemed to enjoy being with us.

But now it's Sunday evening and instead of thinking through what happened and what we'll be doing next week at New Hope, I have to turn toward school and prepare for the Monday morning rush.

Where I used to have an "off" day and Saturday each week to renew, now Saturday is the day I cram everything in. Two jobs that require dedication, focus, and passion that each are more that 40 hours a week mean long days and short nights.

But it's where God has placed me for this season.

Here's how I have to approach it.

First - I have to make sure I do the work to prepare my heart. Each morning when I walk, I pray. Since I don't have the flexibility I once enjoyed as a pastor, I maximize what time I do have.
Second - I use every means I have to learn. I found that 91.7 has Moody Conference Echoes every morning and so I listen to it. During lunch most days I spend a few minutes reading through my devotional regime.
Third - I accept this as God's will for my life right now and give everything I can give to both jobs. That means getting better at delegating and in training leaders so that New Hope can continue to serve and grow.

But there's no time to enjoy what God did today. Tomorrow is calling.

So yeah, Sundays are the hardest.

It's Not Supposed To Be This Way

9-11-11 

Ten years have passed, but the tears and heartache linger. TV is full of the images both past and present. The radio airwaves carry the same tale of grief and woe. Friday I listened to a woman talk about the plans she and her husband had on the day before 9-11. "It wasn't supposed to be this way," she said, "we had plans for our life together."

So much changed that September day. So many lives were shaken to their very foundations. So much so that people are still trying to find their way through it, ten years later.

Why did this have to happen? Why didn't someone know? Why couldn't someone have stopped it? Why didn't my loved one come home? It wasn't supposed to be this way.

The plans for 9-11 began far before anyone named Bin Laden was born. The chain of events started long ago, in a garden called Eden, when man and woman made their choice. It didn't take long for that choice to cost more than a father could bear. Cain killed his brother Abel because he was angry - because he could. Abel's blood cried out to God from the ground. Adam and Eve cried out, "Why?"

My heart, like millions of Americans, is filled with emotions this weekend. Watching the images again brings the horror closer than I want it to be. And remembering the first anniversary, when they read the names - 

Oh...My... God

They read, one after the other, name after name. I couldn't help but think how hard this must be for them. Just to be there. Just to be among so many people hurting, grieving, remembering. To be on a podium in front of the world, to concentrate on getting the names right must be a terrible task.

At the end of the group being read, a young woman stiffens visibly, and it's as if you can see a chill run through her frame as she wills herself to say.... "and my Father...."  .

Oh... it hurts Lord. It hurts.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

But it is. 

And it has been for a long long time. 

My only source of solace, and my only sure sense of strength comes in knowing that God hates it too. That it was Him whose heart cried out to Cain, "What have you done? Listen--your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground!"

God hears. When those He lovingly created destroy each other, He hears. Not in a second-hand whisper, or within an echo of pain. Grief shouts to Him, cries out to him. And He hears.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. But it is. 

And so...

As we remember by reading the names of our loved ones, God adds one more...

"and My Son Jesus." 

For He is a victim of our sins. Yet in His love, God willingly paid that price. He gave us Jesus. The Truth. The Life. And the Way.

John 3:16 (The Message)
This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, His one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.

He did that so people could find their way home - out of darkness - out of terror - out of fear - out of grief - out of heartache - out of rage. 

He calls out the name. "And My Son, Jesus."

As the planes hit the towers, and we in our horror said, "it wasn't supposed to be this way", God was calling to the husband who wouldn't make it home, "This way. Come to Me"

As the heroes of the day streamed up the stairs while others fled down, some never reached the floors they intended to, but God said "This way. Come to me."

As men and women who had planned America's battles found themselves in a fire fight they could not win, a voice called out to them, "This way. Come home to Me."

An airplane in the wrong hands struck earth in a Pennsylvania field far short of its intended destination. Yet God called out to those who were aboard, "This way. Come to Me."

We don't have to wonder where God was that day. 

 Within the terror, throughout the smoke, in the midst of the worst man could do to man, He was calling to His children, "This way. This way." 

He was calling them home.

It wasn't supposed to be this way, but it is. We cannot be sure something like 9-11 won't ever happen again. But before it could happen, we can help people find God - find the One who knows the pain and heartache we face - help them find the Way. Don't wait friends. Don't wait.

"This way"  - He's calling today. "This way to life." 

Remember?

12 Years

First day in the office at New Hope 1999

11 Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you. Our hearts are open to you. 12 If there is a problem between us, it is not because of a lack of love on our part, but because you have withheld your love from us. 13 I am talking now as I would to my own children. Open your hearts to us!

2 Cor 6:11-13 (NLT)

That was the text I preached on this morning. It's appropriate for today since it deals with the heart of the one they call the pastor - his heart for the people God has placed him within to serve and to love.

I was called as pastor in July 1999 and we moved down here in August - the 19th to be exact. What a ride it has been.

It is hard to really grasp what's happened in my life, in the life of my family, and in the life of our New Hope family in the last 12 years. People forget sometimes that the pastor is subject to the same frailties every other human being wrestles with. My perspective on what's happened can change depending on how I'm feeling physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I can be amazed and elated over what God has done in and through the lives of the people I love, or I can step into the shadows and only see what's been lost. I'll try not to go there tonight.

Logan Marston 

Mistakes, I've made them. And I've done some things right. I've seen two men through to full-time ministry and both seem to be doing well. Either they observed and learned what we've done at New Hope and taken some of that forward to their places of service, or observed what happened here and resolved to never do it that way. :) Either way, to God be the glory.

2001 after an evening service

This is a job beyond the ability of anyone, regardless of how well trained or how gifted. You literally can do everything right and still find yourself marked as wrong. The one I will always remember is being up at the church one Saturday afternoon cutting the grass and being told by one senior saint who had been my strongest supporter when I was called but had reconsidered :) - "You know if we had more men in this church the pastor wouldn't be cutting the grass" followed by "and you are cutting it too short."

God bless her, she's with the Lord now - do hope the grass is to her liking up there.

Sean and Me in 2004

I've probably rejoiced too much when people chose to unite their hearts with us in service of God through New Hope. Why do I say that? Simply because I take it too hard when people have to (or decide to) leave. It's just the way I'm built I guess. There's a personal loss and then the greater - "How will this affect New Hope?" Because for me, New Hope is more than a job - this is my life's work for the last 12 years. I have given everything I knew how to give to those in my care. So yeah, it hurts when they leave.

I once had a deacon and Sunday School teacher hand out his reasons for leaving on a Sunday when I was away in Georgia preaching a revival. I managed to get back that evening before the Sunday night service was over. In those days we had our sound equipment off to the side in a room we now use for our Child to Child girls ministry. I slipped in, listened to the sermon and after the invitation walked out to be told about the departure. "We just don't agree on the direction of the church," he said. "Oh and happy birthday Brother David." Yeah, that stung.

Good times

During the 12 years, I've had the honor of officiating at the wedding of my son Adam and his beloved Shonda.

Done a few other weddings including that of Robert Hughes and Jewel Cutchens, senior saints who found each other in their latter years.

 Just sent Jonathan and Heather McGee out into the river of life last weekend. Most all have made it, but not all, and I hate that.

These Guys Have - Nate and Amanda

Funerals have been a part of the 12 years too. To me it's a high honor just to be asked to put a frame around the life of someone's loved one. So when I was asked to say a few words about my Aunt Geneva, or try to put my Father's life into perspective, I stuffed my grief in a box and did it. But standing by the tiny grave of our only grandchild - our granddaughter Ana - ripped my heart and tested my soul. Still, God gave me the strength to let everyone there know of His love for that little one, and for all who were there.

I've even performed funerals for furry loved ones on occasion. Those of you who have pets and have lost one to death understand exactly how much it hurts. We've lost three awesome dog/friends to death while we have been here. The last one, Henley the Great Dane - losing him broke our hearts. We still grieve that loss. If it happens to you, and you want someone to help you through - I'm your man.

I could spend some more time talking through some of the great things God did during the twelve years I've been here - because there really have been some things that could have only happened if God willed it so. This last year He's probably taught us all more about living by faith than most years. We feel every loss keenly now, and only God's miraculous provision has kept us here. The numbers don't add up. But God is so, so good.

But if you know me, you know I'm not into numbers. I'm into hearing about what God has done.

I love stories - stories of how God came into someone's life.

Kylie Quinnell Became A Christian That Day

Stories of how a small church had an impact around the world as a group of little girls led them to care.

Stories of how a couple of men who love to work with boys have poured themselves and their values into scores of kids.

Joe and some of the boys

Stories of people serving the neighborhood,

serving in KY, in WV, in NOLA, in Nigeria and Guatemala  - all the while giving so that others could serve where God had called them.

12 years.

To those of you who joined us on the journey, my heartfelt thanks.

We Both Ate Lucky Charms For Breakfast Yesterday

Lucy in better days

Spent some time yesterday with some of my favorite young people - Kira Stoy, Sydney Hoskinson, and Ian Anderson. Bunny had the girls in our Honda so Mr. Ian and I headed out in my car. Ian and I have a lot in common.

- We both ate Lucky Charms for breakfast yesterday
- We both wonder about things like physics and natural laws that other people don't
- We both love science fiction
- We both get our geek on, obviously

Yesterday though we had lots of fun looking at the high tech tools in Home Depot and Office Depot, and though we shared a love of pizza at Cici's (he ate at least 9 pieces, I ate 4), we also talked about something we share that neither of us ever wanted.

You see Ian's friend Lucy the dog is dying from a brain tumor.

I know how that feels.

Our friend Henley the Great Dane had bone cancer with no hope of a cure, and the weeks between knowing something was wrong and the understanding that it was cancer were awful. We couldn't look at him without crying. We kept praying it would go away, but it didn't.

It wasn't our first experience with the death of a furry friend though.

For Ian, Lucy was his first encounter with the incredible, lavish generosity of a dog's love. She converted a cat-loving boy to someone who would come into my office and talk about what Lucy did yesterday, or tell me about the photos on his phone. She came into the family unexpectedly - rescued while they were on vacation in Alabama - and was adopted into their hearts and lives. Joy with fur. But now came sorrow, deep.

So when he talked about it yesterday, eyes clouding up as he did, I was listening and praying for God to pour every ounce of grace and mercy into my friend's heart. "Bear each other's burdens..." is commanded in Scripture, but I knew that the best I could do is pray for God to touch the heart of my young friend, and help him begin to work it out.

Pray for the Anderson family. Pray for Ian. Pray for Lucy.

And thank God for dogs - for the ONLY thing worse than saying goodbye to one is never having been loved by one at all. Even in death, they teach us how to live.

Mother's Day Reflection

On July 15th, 1920, on the wrong side of the tracks down on Roff Avenue near "Mr Willingham's Textile Mill", a little girl was born to Henry and Bertie Bowden. Her parents were millworkers who had moved from the farm to the city in search of a better life. Each had lost a spouse to death before they met each other, and the family was a blend of Fosters and Bowdens.

The little girl grew to adulthood in that shotgun house, becoming the first of her family to get a high school diploma. During those years, she saw a sister die in a fire, a brother killed when his car stalled on the railroad tracks that ran parallel to the road. When she was 12, her father was hit by a car and died the next day. Hurt came often to Roff Avenue. The family grew tight - they had to. Somehow the widow "Bertie" raised all their kids and another couple of girls besides. Lodie was the big sister now, and she went to school and worked in the mill too. Whatever it took to help, she did.

She met a young man who lived in the same mill village, and just as World War Two began, they married. He was sent away, and in a year or so, she enlisted herself. They saw each other once during the War, in Manila.

After the war, they had both changed. Everything had.

They divorced, and then love found them again, and they remarried.

One day they got the news she was pregnant with twins. Nine months later they got the news the babies wouldn't survive. Yet when the twins were born, (my older brothers Michael and Mitchell) due to complications from my Mother carrying them too long, they both died within a week of their birth.

Devastated doesn't begin to describe what my parents experienced.

My mother is in heaven now, but while she lived she very seldom ever talked about it. Oh, she might mention "the twins", but briefly, and quickly move on. It was a deep, lasting hurt that never really went away.

So many people never recover from such a wound. Marriages, even whole lives, just wither and die.

But not when you find the will to start over.

My Mother told me she found that will in Jesus Christ. The picture at the beginning of this post shows the back inside cover of a Bible she carried during her service as a WAC during WW2. In it, she identified with Jesus as Lord and Savior. I never knew there was a time when she didn't follow Jesus.

One day we were talking, and I brought up the loss of my brothers. She reached over and opened up her Bible and read me this.

10 Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

She told me she took God at His Word and started over.

I cannot imagine how much courage it took for her to do that. But whatever amount it took, her God supplied it.But a couple who had seen so much pain and held so much heartache, just wouldn't give up hope. One year later, I was born - the young woman was my Mother - Lodie Marie Bowden Wilson.

No other person had more influence on who I became than she did. Not one day in the years we shared on this earth did I not wake up knowing that my Mother loved me deeply.

When you are the recipient of love, like a Mother's love, most of the time you are blind to it. Days come and go, sacrifices are made for you. Some you might realize but poorly comprehend. Others you miss completely. When your children come along, understanding does too, and then when the giver passes away, the gifts are made visible in the loss of the one who gave them.

I cannot give her anything now. All I can do is give to others as I have been given to. When I was reading Philippians the other day, I came across this. Those of you who read it, do as I have done today and think about your life, and what someone years after you are gone will write about it in review. Will it be God-honoring? Will it be praiseworthy? What will be your legacy? Will you have pointed your family to Jesus? Can you write as Paul does here?

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9 NIV

Is your life worthy of being emulated? Are you living the life you'd want everyone to? If not, make the courageous choice and change direction. Follow Jesus.

Good Friday - The Cross Centered Life

If all you have found [in Christianity] is advantage,
whether it is fun or profit or security,
then you haven't
started following Him yet.
His way is the way of the Cross.

The world can be very hard on those it hates.
If it is not hard on you, perhaps it sees nothing in you to hate.
But then
it doesn't see Jesus in you,
for it hates Jesus with an
undying hatred.

While your way is still all fun, all easy, all
jolly, it is only your way: 
when you turn from it to follow
His way, it will cost. 
It may cost you everything you have.

That is what it cost Him.

... Robert MacColl Adams (1913-1985), "Of Rice and Men"

For Some of Us, But Not All of Us

"For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die." 
— Anne Lamott (Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life)


Dear reader, I LOVE books. I'm a reader birthed by a Mother who was a reader, part of a family of readers. Have a couple thousand in print and am rapidly acquiring a few digital. Books are a big part of my life, and one, the Bible, has been the center of my life's work for many years now. There are books I have read many times, and authors I would dearly love to have a coffee with. Some stories have woven thread into my life's tapestry so well that they help make me... me.


So when I, someone who reads at least several hours a week, dozens of books a year gets to substitute teach in a reading class - a high school reading class - it ought to be just the brier patch I'd like. Well let me just report back from the halls of academia and let you know that just keeping 9th graders reading and not talking or whatever is a full time job, and even when they are reading, well... it ain't the Harvard Classics. It was disappointing to me.


There's so much you can receive from books - so much they can give you. Reread the quote from one of my favorite quirky writers of all time - Anne Lamott - above. That's what books can do. They can take you from wherever you are and send you to another time, another place. You can see the future, you can experience the past, and over time you find that books speak to you on a level past just words. You connect. You become.


This is the most connected generation in human history.


Except to what matters the most.

Hello Mr Wilson :)

From It's Like Herding Cats

Well, I'm officially a substitute teacher. After spending some time yesterday in Amy Anderson's class to get oriented, today I was officially the "substitute teacher" while Amy went to a conference. Amy's an ESE teacher at Lewis School here in Valparaiso and has an all boy class (at the moment). Every one of the boys can touch your heart in one way or another - and they did mine.

Even with a "head start" from yesterday, I still needed some help from Amy's assistant to get started teaching. Her lesson plans were clear, I just didn't know what grade each of the kids were in. :) That helped a lot. Once that was cleared up, I was able to grasp where each of the kids needed to be. It was a blast to be able to help them work through some roadblocks and finish their work.

And yes, I ate in the cafeteria and got to play with the kids at recess! The atmosphere at Lewis is just infectious from the minute you get there. The principal, Mr. Fantaski, and a teacher Jimmy Harrison (who I met delivering Supper on Saturday a couple weeks ago) were at the curb greeting kids as they were being dropped off. And every other staff person I saw was just as kid-focused. Great school.

I saw lots of kids I already new from New Hope or from Bunny's piano teaching. Most of them were happy to see me but a couple were a little shocked. That was funny. "What are YOU doing here?" was the most common question and then when I answered it changed to "that's cool."

Once I got through today, I got about an hour turnaround at home before heading to New Hope. Bunny had spent hours cooking the chili for tonight's meal, so all I had to do was cook the grilled cheese sandwiches for tonight's meal.Once that was done, then worship practice and finally teaching 1 John 4. It was a LONG day.

But it's a good tired.

Going to dial it back to only two things tomorrow - sermon prep and then working on my schoolwork for Gulf Coast.

Because Friday I get to go teach Middle School!

Dear 98.170.219.187

From It's Like Herding Cats - A Pastor's Life

98.170.219.187, you've come to my blog 6 times today. You came 5 times yesterday. You live in Niceville, have a Mac with Safari and a PC running Internet Explorer and Vista and are connected to the internet through Cox communications.

I must be one interesting character. :) Life's kind of busy for me right now so I haven't been able to blog as much as I was, and I really need to get better at letting people know what's going on with my family and with our spiritual family here at New Hope.

New Hope is a unique group of people who are really working sacrificially to make a difference here and around the world. We're small, but we're believing in a large God who can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. We figure that no one would have a problem believing a mega church would do big things, but if we see big things happen - it had to have been God.

If you are interested in walking with a group of people who love God and each other, you should come check us out.

Please feel free to email and ask any questions you might have.

Sincerely,

192.168.7.17

In Pursuit... of God

Began a teacher certification program a few weeks ago at Gulf Coast Community College. It's a program for people who did not originally plan to be teaching and got their bachelors degrees in other disciplines. The Educator Preparation Institute is a Florida Department of Education program, administered by a few colleges and universities within Florida. The basic premise is to give those within it the tools to teach in 6 months. This does not include the other prerequisites of passing the state mandated tests for General Knowledge, Professional Knowledge, and Subject Area(s), but does include some student teaching practicum.

Did I mention it's only 6 months long?

It's a compressed program, and Lord have mercy, it's demanding.

Second week's work product includes:
228 pages of reading and viewing of three videos
Three quizzes over the reading
Two Critical Reviews that you must post into a discussion forum and defend
The writing of a Personal Philosophy of Education
The writing of Student Learning Objectives and Essential Questions for a Unit Plan begun last week
The beginning of an Instructional Notebook on Reading - 10 pages tied to Sunshine State Standards in Phonics and Phoneme work.

The estimate was that the three courses would consume anywhere from 18 to 30 hours each week.

Yep

Burning the midnight oil, we are

But all of that comes after the work God has given me as a pastor.

There's no doubt in my mind that teaching is an awesome way to touch a community and to serve God through your work. I've known too many teachers that were as called to their work as I am to mine as a pastor. They made a difference in my life, and the ones I know now - Diane Weech and Amy Anderson - are true servants of the Lord and are teaching out of their love for Him and His children. I hope to one day be their colleague.

But I am honored to be their pastor. It's what God has called me to invest the rest of my life doing.

Friends, the church/society landscape is changing. Fewer people, particularly in younger generations, have any exposure to Christians or church at all. The mega churches continue to do well, but smaller churches are struggling to stay relevant and alive. So we're going to see if a different model of ministry that uses people working outside the church and also working in the church won't provide more ministry and more resources for the Kingdom.

Ideally we'd get to the point where with that model, at least HALF the money God entrusts to us through tithes and offerings goes OUT of here into spreading the gospel and caring for our neighbors here and around the world. We'd have an entire staff of "tent-makers" just like that 1st century radical named Paul. And we'd have more contacts with more people in the community and outside the church than ever before. Living life with people and loving them makes opportunities to share Jesus increase exponentially.

Other churches may choose a different path - bigger buildings, more programs, more professionals and use that to attract people to them. No doubt it works.

It's not who we are.

New Hope is raw... organic... authentic.

And we think that's what God wants us to be. So pray for the pastor with new challenges and new opportunities ahead. And pray for the church he loves to serve.

Praying for Those Who Are Limping

"You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."
— Anne Lamott

Another reason I love Anne Lamott's writing. That's just real life.

Happened again recently- the hurt flooded back and seized my heart for a second. It passes but the hurt still lives in my soul. This season of joy also comes with reminders of who's not with us anymore. Its not just cold outside - there's a chill inside too as you remember what used to be - who used to be here. Was reading recently about some churches holding a "Blue Christmas" service to help people deal with their grief and loss at Christmas. I hope that's helpful. There are so many people suffering with loss even at Christmas - or especially at Christmas.

For me, the best way forward is to acknowledge that there's more ahead - more love, more grace, more hope, more joy. No doubt it'll be different. No way it could replace what's lost.

And yet, our God is good. Staggeringly, extravagantly good. He gives and gives because He is a giver at heart. Sure life takes its toll, but God is enough to meet every need.

With Him, you come through.

And eventually, you do learn to dance with the limp.

What are you GIVING for Christmas?

Don't race by that question or auto-correct it.

I know that "getting" is what we have been trained and train our kids to think of - but is that really the godly way to approach Christmas?

I don't think so, and from what I gather from the Scriptures, neither does Jesus. He was quoted as saying "It is more blessed to give than to receive" as well as other scandalous statements about giving coats away, going extra miles, and opening your home to strangers.

So if you are really, really committed to keeping the "Christ" in Christmas, my suggestion is start right here.

What are you really excited about GIVING this Christmas?

There are so many opportunities.

Toms Shoes gives a pair of shoes to a person in need for every pair you buy.

The Water Project provides clean water to thousands through drilling wells, repairing older ones, and purification. Every item in their store gives someone life giving water.

The Heifer Project gives you a chance to provide a way out of poverty for someone and your giftee gets a card letting them know just what your gift has done in their name.

Christian Flights International is an organization that serves the people of Haiti. New Hope is sponsoring their "Angel Tree" initiative and angel ornaments that were hand painted by the children in Haiti are available for purchase in our lobby.

What are you giving for Christmas?

You Need To Know This

Love Wins!

You need to know that. I need to know that. LOVE WINS!!!!!

I'm sitting here tonight finishing the power-point for tomorrow's sermon and praying.

I'm praying for people.

A dear friend from church who's headed to Georgia tomorrow to help his family get ready for his father's funeral. My pastor friend in New Hampshire who laid the body of his mother to rest this week and doesn't think he has anything to give to his church tomorrow. Another pastor friend who is supposed to leave his church at year's end but doesn't have anywhere to go. The family of another friend who was touched by grief this week. All of those whose loved ones exist now only in memories - this season is hard for all of them.

So I pray.

The friend still without a job. His wife recovering from open heart surgery. Our niece struggling with cancer. The elderly woman who can't make ends meet. Another with a teenager who tests the limits on a regular basis. Families separated because of a war that seemingly will never end. People trapped beneath a mountain of wrong choices. People dealing with chronic pain, with heartache, with loss.

I pray for them, that God would supply all their needs through Christ Jesus. That the author of all compassion and comfort will surround them with His love. That they will see God and know He loves them.

And I pray for New Hope.

We're the church in the neighborhood, with a heart for anyone who comes through our doors. We've seen many people come to faith here, and others deepen in faith here. But we have many needs. Life in a smaller church has been likened to draining the bathtub with a colander. Sure you seem to be busy, but are you making progress? God is sending us more and more children from broken homes, triple-blended families, and hasn't sent the relief workers yet. And some of our people really could use some relief.

And yet we're realizing there are more needs in our community that we ever knew were here, and God is moving within us to act as His hands and feet right here in Valparaiso and our area. We're getting more opportunities to help with other missions while still trying to take care of basic needs. We're sending out families through PCS moves and other life-changes but we haven't received the replacements for them. I know God is in charge of outcomes and everything comes in His will, in His time, but... now would be nice.

So I'm praying. Earnestly, passionately - praying.

But here's the awesome truth - Love Wins.

No one's ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it-
What God has arranged for those who love him. 1 Cor 2:9 The Message

I stepped back in time today.

Attending a funeral in a Baptist church, I heard a choir sing a Southern Gospel song, a pianist play a medley of several more, sang two songs from the Baptist hymnal, and heard a retired pastor bring an expository message that called upon the hearer to be saved.

I loved it.

Right here I pause to let a few of you clean off the screens of your phone, tablet, or laptop. Sorry, I should have warned you.

But I did. I loved it.

The person the funeral honored would have too.

First, he would have noticed I was wearing a suit. That's kind of a big deal for me.

Then he'd have been crazy about the music. He loved hymns and gospel music. The choir assembled from the base chapel sang "Midnight Cry" like they believed Jesus was coming tonight. The congregation sang "It Is Well With My Soul" like they had inside information. Even the mighty organ was contributing its deep bass voice. He'd have liked that

And the retired former pastor sharing from his heart about what his friend lying in rest was all about in genuine love and humor made me thank God for the job God gave him and gave me. Friend, to be asked to "say a few words" at a funeral is an honor, regardless of for whom. But to be able to stand before a congregation and tell them what your friend's life meant - meant to you, meant to his church, meant to his family, meant to God - well I have heard this pastor preach several times, even shared responsibilities at funerals with him a couple times, and he has never been better. He had a pacemaker installed two days ago and when I went up after to tell him what a great job he did, I asked him if he had that pacemaker set on "11."

The fellow who was honored today didn't like the changes in the church. He never connected to contemporary music, liked his pastors in suits and behind pulpits. And yet, the most moving part of the service was the use of the video projector (which he opposed) to show pictures from his life, and the airing of a recording of him singing. At the end of it, we heard his voice asking us to sing along with him, and weakly at first, but then stronger, the congregation did. I've gotta believe he was smiling as we carried his music forward even after he was gone.

Here's the deal. In that context, with a group of people where the non-gray head was the exception, even though the event was a funeral - the focus was on God. On praising Him, on giving thanks to Him, on examining one man's life and how he lived it and why it mattered. It mattered because he gave it to God without reservation. So when that group today was grabbed by the Holy Spirit the whole congregation responded in praise. When the preacher was grabbed by that same Spirit he preached his heart out. It was one of the best funerals I have ever attended and I get to a few in my line of work.

Yep, I went back in time today and I loved it.

With Arms Wide Open

Was just at our local Dollar General and heard one of the employees laughingly say to another "you'd better get ready, Allan's coming." The other replied, "I've already seen him twice today." Here's what was remarkable about that conversation - it was filled with smiles.

Allan's developmentally disabled, has a profound hearing loss, and cannot speak clearly. He's very persistent, and frequently very animated as he tries to interact with people. He has his routines that he likes to go through in conversation. Ours centers around our dogs, our oldest son Adam, having me tell Sean to "get out of my way", and Scooby-Doo. If you ever walk by my office and hear me doing my "Scooby-Doo, where are you - over here", I haven't gone crazy - Allan is with me.

While I was checking out today, I told the clerk who had been laughing about Allan's impending arrival that - yesterday, in 28mile an hour gusts of wind and rain coming down in buckets, Allan showed up on foot at New Hope to bring Bunny a "Get Well Soon" card.

Allan loves Bunny, and wanted her to know that. He never said one word about the weather, all he wanted to know was "Is Bunny feeling better?"

She smiled and said "That's Allan."

I told her that at New Hope, we think Allan's God's appointed messenger to teach us how to love better.

She smiled again and said "I think he does that for us too."

Friends, God is using everything He has to help us learn to love as He does. Our friend Allan is part of that.

Are we?