Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Not Worthy

26 “I baptize with water,” John answered them. “But among you stands Someone you don’t know. 27 He is the One coming after me, whose sandal strap I’m not worthy to untie.”

John 1:26-27 (HCSB)

I never have been comfortable with the idea of being a "stand-in" for God. Nice to know I'm not alone in that. Thing is, no matter how hard you work at being open, and transparent about your walk with Christ, like it or not - the pastor's role means people look to you.

It's not something I think about much, preferring to spend my time agonizing over other things. But occasionally it makes itself known. Early here, it leapt out when I was told that suggestions from me had the force of "do this." I thought it was ridiculous, until it was explained to me that in the military, when the "boss" suggests something needs to be done, well, it gets done. Wish that was always true. :)

Last week, I got a gentle reminder.

Our friend Allan, who is developmentally challenged, brought me a Father's Day card. In it, he had written a personal note. Like everything he does, it was absolutely untainted by any wrong emotions or desires. And it just slayed me.

Who am I? Only God can claim to be father to the fatherless.

Then after walking around with that angst for a couple of days, I stumbled across the verse I began with. It was if God was telling me "don't sweat it, no one will confuse us."

So I'll hang around and try to point Allan and others in the right direction. No, I'm not worthy - but I'm available.



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