Oh Yeah, I Have Heroes

Marius is one of my heroes of faith. Pray for him.

Faith

The last few days I've been reminded constantly of the simpler times, at the beginning of my ministry, when it was so much easier to step out in faith - childish, sometimes (OK, often) silly, foolish faith. It was childish and foolish, but it gave me the opportunity to see God's direct actions in my life over and over again.

Like the time when I bought a one-way ticket to Vienna, Austria, in order to look for a Bible school or some other place where I can be trained to become a pastor. I knew no one in Austria, I did not speak German, I had no contacts of any sorts, I had no money to go back to Romania or to live for more than a day or two - but I knew the Lord called me to be a pastor, and, well, there I was! Within a few hours of entering Austria I had a place to live and was on the way to getting my scholarship to go to Capernwray in England for a one-year Bible School.

Or the time when, having received the visa to come to the UK, I had no money to buy the plane ticket - and yet I went to the travel agency and waited patiently in line, expecting the Lord to provide the money. It was the equivalent of my income for 5 months - but sure enough, the Lord provided them in an amazing way - but did so only after I got the first in line, facing the sales person and wondering what to tell her...

Or when I went back home to start a brand new church plant, having no clue how to plant a church, having no job, no income, no support structure, no backing of any sort - but trusting the Lord in all of this - AND asking him to give me at least 100 new believers within one year.
Sure enough, we passed the 100 mark exactly the same date one year later. As my little group and I shared the stories of the people we witnessed to and the many who prayed to receive the Lord that day, I suddenly realised we had lead to the Lord over 120 people - it was just over 20 people who had prayed the Lord into their life that day - and that afternoon was one year since I asked the Lord for those 100 people. Of course I was a bit upset - why didn't I ask for more?!? :-) And there are so many more stories like these...

I am now at a similar crossroads - I know I am where the Lord wants me, doing the service he asked me to do - and having no money, no support, no way to pay the bills and seeing no way forward. And this time around I find myself wavering, one moment I have that same unmovable faith I used to have - and the next, when faced with yet another bill, or yet another decision or question with no answer, I find myself wondering - what if the Lord will not step in this time? What if he will let me fail? I guess the experience of having failed to plant "Imagine" in Pittsburgh made me aware that sometimes faith is not enough. The Lord will answer - but his answer may be "No." Particularly when the situation is the way it is - I am not, like those years ago, in a poor country, in a church where people give all they can and more, but all we have simply falls short of what we need. I am in a church that has more than plenty, but chooses to back out of their responsibility to provide for the needs of the ministry - after having promised to do so only weeks ago. So, do I go out in faith, or do I stop, realising this problem is the result of disobedience on the part of the church? On the one hand, if they are not faithful, my duty is to continue in my own faithfulness. On the other hand - can I expect the Lord to make up for a shortfall stemming from disobedience?

Oh well - I have a couple of days to get the answer, and while it's scary, it is also exciting. Oh, the adrenaline rush of living by faith!