Bill was a friend, a part of our New Hope family, and I wanted to do the best I possibly could each time. The first memorial service had me in tears, but by the second I was able to do what I was there to do - help the family through the valley of the shadow. Below is the picture, obit and the second message.
“Bill” is survived by his wife of 5 decades, Harriet, three sons, Chip, Ross and Terry, and four grandchildren, Grafton, RJ, Crawford, and Hunter.
Born in Eufaula, Alabama, Bill had a happy childhood with many friends in Atlanta, Georgia. Bill graduated Georgia Tech in Electrical Engineering and entered the Air Force, where he enjoyed one of his great loves, flying. After two highly decorated tours in Vietnam, and postings in Texas, California, North Carolina, England, Nevada, Virginia and Utah, as an F-4 and F-16 pilot and instructor pilot, he retired to North Florida with 25 years of service. Not easily idle, Bill followed this with another 20-year career at Wintec, Inc, in testing, where he got to regularly apply his engineering, planning, and analysis skills.
Bill led a happy life of fun and adventure enjoying travel, camping, flying and play, with current annual passes to both Disney and Universal. He never missed a chance to ride a roller coaster – even when there were no grandchildren around to provide the excuse.
13 For you created my inmost
being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not
hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together
in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be. Psalms 139:13-16 (NIV)
Here we are, again. For some of us this is our second
opportunity to draw aside from the world and its cares and to spend some time
thinking about, considering, and honoring the life of William Standifer III – or as he’d prefer –
Bill. And I expect for most of us we are still working to come to grips with
what happened. Not that anyone expected Bill to live forever, no one does,
here. But even though we knew Bill had health problems, really serious health
problems for a long time – problems that profoundly affected the life he wanted
to live, taking away some of the things that brought him great joy. We just
thought that Bill would work whatever process the doctors gave him with the
same relentless efficiency he showed in so many areas and that he’d be here a
good while longer.
So when the events of the last few weeks began, and the
dominos kept falling, we all prayed as hard as we knew how. At the end he just
slipped away from us or maybe more appropriately, he flew behind above the
cloud cover. I know this, he fought as hard as he could. He had said “I’m a
fighter pilot. We don’t quit until the bullets are striking the cockpit.” His
love for his sweetheart and his family was so strong. But while the will was
strong, his equipment just failed. And now we are here, today.
As I drove up here yesterday I was thinking about home. Crossing the Alabama line near Lanett and
reentering the land of my birth, even in the darkness of a November evening, I
felt a difference even if the land didn’t change all that much. Something had.
That’s funny in a way, since I have been gone 13 years now. But generations of
my ancestors made their home in the red clay hills of Georgia, so I guess even
now, there’s a part of me that it calls to as home. And yet for me, I suspect
for many of you, and certainly for the man we come to remember and honor today,
we live our lives in motion – in pursuit of the goals we have, of the things
that matter most to us.
Our birthplace matters to us, not just as a point on a
map, but as writer Sarah Dressen penned:
“Home
wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who
loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then
another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you
take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” Sarah Dresssen
Many of you
in this church today provided the shelter for Bill Standifer. No matter where his life took him, you were
the “bricks” that God used to build that foundation, that shelter he took with
him his whole life. When I thought about his life over the last few weeks, I
realized that Bill was always loved. Some of you here loved him for decades.
Loved him well. Loved him extravagantly, giving and giving with your hearts
wide open. I know Harriet stands at the head of that line, and rightfully so.
And certainly their sons are lining up behind their Mother. But look around you
and see what a life like Bill’s does. What it calls forth from others.
The Bible
tells us that we were loved before we were even a gleam in our Mother’s eyes.
13 For you created my inmost
being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not
hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together
in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be. Psalms 139:13-16 (NIV)
So that
“solid shelter” I spoke of that Bill had around him began even before he was
born. God placed him in a loving family, a giving home, and that solid
foundation was there for him growing up through childhood.
I sat down
with Terry and Harriet a few weeks ago to talk about how they wanted Bill to be
remembered – in the memorial services in
Florida and here, and while we did just that, they did a lot more for me. They
went back and charted Bill’s life
all the way from his birth in Eufaula, Alabama, his childhood in Pine Lake
Georgia, and from venue to venue – or really – from HOME TO HOME - until the end. They shared their hearts with me, and
I learned a lot more about the man we remember today. I’m going to share some
of what I learned today, because I think it will help many of us put today in
perspective. To understand what it was like to move all over the world, but
always be AT HOME.
So as I said,
Bill was born in Eufala Alabama and given that big name – William Standifer the
third. I believe it was Harriet that told me that even that decision was one
not taken lightly. That Bill even as a baby had tests to pass and passed them.
Moving to Georgia brought the family into the American dream and into a growing
area with lots of opportunities. Bill’s family did everything they could to
make sure he had what he needed to succeed, and succeed he did.
But from Eufala, to Atlanta, through Georgia
Tech and out with a degree in electrical engineering, Bill never forgot who he
was. A lot of people do, you know. But
Bill had brought with him his faith in God and he had been blessed to find the
one true love of his life – his beloved Harriet. Most of us who know them think of them
together, say their names together, because they were as truly One as anyone we
are likely to ever know. They were going
together when he was 18 and she was 17, after he started out dating Harriet’s
sister. He soon corrected that mistake and always made the point that “I got
the better sister.”
Bill’s
upbringing had taught him that a man was measured by his integrity and devotion
to what really matters, and he showed that those lessons – even in childhood –
were well leaned by making and honoring commitments again and again and again
throughout his life. If he said he would do something, you could take it to the
bank. So his pledge to “love, to honor,
to cherish, until death do us part” was only the last one he lived up to.
The
commitment to serve his country was one he certainly fulfilled. He was only
going to be in for five years, but once he got into fighters, he met his other
passion –flying. And from then on until his retirement the couple’s path began
to take them to places all over the world. I absolutely loved hearing Harriet
tell about the days a young family spent
“living like the locals” in England, driving all over Europe in an
Austin Healey, weekend flights to Paris and back for $25 round trip, and their
Europe on $5 a day adventures. What a life!
When they came back to the States
even Terry was a proper English lad who wowed his chums at school when he told
them “my dad eats snakes, flies fighter planes, and we just got here from England.”
Skeptics were converted when every word turned out to be true. I suspect that wasn’t the only time someone
heard about the life Bill, Harriet, Ross, Terry, and Chip had together and
wondered if it all could be true. But it was.
In that same
Psalm 139 is written this: 7 Where
can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you
are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the
dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will
hold me fast. Psalms 139:7-10 (NIV)
I can’t
imagine what Bill saw during his time in the service, but with 100 missions in
the Vietnam War where losses were running at 40% of aircraft during the first
couple of years flying out of Thailand, I know he lost many friends while
carrying out his missions. Harriet told
me there were some songs that were played at the funerals in chapel she still
didn’t like to hear. So I suspect there was a lot he didn’t care to talk about
either. He was true to his oath to protect the Constitution against all enemies
foreign or domestic though, believing that giving the Vietnamese people a
chance to make their own choices about freedom was the right thing to do.
Here
at home Harriet did what she could to raise the boys and waited for her love to
return. And he always did. But one of his friends told me that there were times
when they simply had to trust God with their very lives and fly into “hell.”
God went with Bill there too.
7 Where
can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you
are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the
dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will
hold me fast. Psalms 139:7-10 (NIV)
The family
lived the transient life of a military family while stateside, bouncing from
assignment to assignment back and forth across the nation. Everywhere they
lived, Bill and Harriet tried to help the boys see it as a great adventure. It
surely must have been. Terry told me that those ants his dad ate – well while
camping Bill shared that knowledge with the boys. “They taste like cherries” is
what Terry told me, but he did say to make sure to get the biggest ants you
could find. Bill would find a way to get
an adventure started wherever they were. At Nellis it was hunting for rocks and
at Hill it was skiing and hunting for fossils. He taught the boys how to work
on cars, and a lot more.
The end of his Air Force career came
sooner than Bill would have liked it to. He had hoped to get a squadron of his own, but the glut
of qualified people meant a lot of good men had to leave and Bill left as a Lt.
Colonel. There were people at Hill that
were upset about his being passed over, and some were upset about Bill not
getting his “last flight” in his beloved F-16. They didn’t know that Bill had
already taken his last flight. For those of you not familiar, a last flight is
where a retiring aviator can take their plane up and pretty much do whatever
they want until the gas runs out. I’ve seen a couple of those and they are
spectacular. Aileron rolls the length of the runway, pulling back on the stick,
standing the plane on its tail going straight up out of sight, or cutting the
pylons in the parking lot – most are flashy look at me events.
Bill’s last
flight would have seen tame to those folks, but for him it was the most
exciting flight he could imagine. He flew to Enid Oklahoma , to Vance AFB where
Ross was stationed and pinned his wings on. That was Bill. He gave himself
away. He was building the “shelter” for his boys, teaching them what it meant
to be a part of a home so that they in turn would do the same if God led them
to do it.
Decorated
Pilot, instructor pilot, test director, he moved into the next phase of his
life, a stint at Eglin running the test wing and then a short retirement and a
long career with Wintec. I was interested
in how that transition went from a sociological point of view. Fighter pilots
always seemed to have a certain worldview that sometimes didn’t play well with
others. But Bill by this point had a path traced clearly of giving himself
away. No surprise then that he went on
there to have an accomplished record spanning 20 years, or that the people he
worked with became more than coworkers. At the service in Florida I had person
after person tell me about little ways and big encouragements Bill made their
lives better.
Bill made people better – made them
want to be better.
His quiet confidence made you feel as though if he believed you could do
something then darn it, you could do it. Harriet talked about her decision to
by a plane and learn to fly, and how she had doubts, but Bill would have none
of it. She said “Bill gave me the
confidence to do things I never would have done.” I could sure understand
why someone would feel that way. I know that when we would be over in the
fellowship hall on Wednesday nights, we’d get into some spirited discussions
about one point or another and Bill wouldn’t say a word. But you could tell he was
taking it all in. From my point of view, I felt he was giving me his respect
while quietly encouraging me to bring the Truth to target. To where we live. He
could be a tough audience there, but quick to laugh over lunch.
The last few years he spent a lot of time with his beloved grandchildren, sharing with them the things he loved to do – flying, shooting, riding roller coasters. He loved his family, was very proud of every one of them. I know having all boys might have seemed to some a loss but Bill always said the best way to have girls in the family was for your sons to marry them, and he was very thankful for his daughters in law. In return, you got a long up close and personal look at just what marriage is supposed to be.
The Bible says “For this cause a man will
leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh.” Terry told me that his Mom and dad “didn’t tell us how to live –
they showed us.” Yes they did. They went through times of great joy and
times when life seemed very tough. But in doing it all, no matter where the map
found their house, they continued building a home.
Let me finish
quickly by pointing out this: Bill knew where he was. Because he was grounded
by his parents as their only son, and shown the love of God early and often,
Bill knew exactly who he was. He was God’s creation, given life by the Creator
and offered an opportunity to follow His Son and live a life in freedom.
Bill knew
where he was going. Whether it was winning the love of his life, raising three
fine men, carving out a dream career as a fighter pilot, helping Wintec – Bill
had a plan and he worked it. Well, so did God. There were many times in his
life that except for God’s grace he could have been taken. Even in probably his
deepest felt loss – not getting the squadron command he had worked for – God
was at work. You see Bill had a heart attack at work. But his doctor was
minutes away and the help he needed was readily available – which they would
not have been had he still been in the Air Force. Bill got some extra years.
Many of us got a blessing from those years. And as the end drew near, Bill knew
where he was going.
The Bible
records Jesus saying: 1 "Do
not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God ; trust also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many
rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a
place for you. 3 And if I
go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me
that you also may be where I am. John
14:1-3 (NIV) That place is called home. It’s not tied to a place.
If one writer said:
If one writer said:
"Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was
wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together...” another with
a deep Christian faith wrote this. “I
have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the
land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till
now...Come further up, come further in!”― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle
Bill has fought his last battle too, and because of what God did through Jesus and Bill's belief in that work - Bill won his battle over death. "O death where is your sting? O grave where is your victory?" Bill is home. He has reached altitude beyond anything we could imagine.
Bill has fought his last battle too, and because of what God did through Jesus and Bill's belief in that work - Bill won his battle over death. "O death where is your sting? O grave where is your victory?" Bill is home. He has reached altitude beyond anything we could imagine.
As much as Bill loved you
all, as deeply as he enjoyed flying, roller coaster rides, walks on the beach – as much as he loved this life – he is home. Where the One who loved him before we knew Bill – any
of us knew Bill – had prepared a welcoming filled with love, peace, and
healing. If Bill were here today, he’d want you to know that he’s home. He’s
healed. And he’s loved.
My encouragement to you? Look for a foundation beyond
bricks and mortar. Seek for love beyond circumstances or feelings. Embrace the
love of the One Who loves you with an undying love and Who will never let time
or distance separate you from that love. Trust Jesus with your life and live as
one who having received, love, gives it away.
Amen
Amen
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