In Honor of Bill Standifer

The following is the message I delivered at New Hope at the memorial service of my friend and New Hope family member William (Bill) Standifer III. Bill was an amazing man who blessed a lot of people by just being who he was. It was an honor to share these thoughts at the service. I'm thankful I will get the opportunity one day to see Bill again.

8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8 (NIV)

I chose that Scripture to use today because to me, it fits the man we are here to remember.

It’s hard to believe we are here today. Not that anyone expected Bill to live forever, no one does, here. But having known him for years and having seen the iron discipline he practiced at the table – “I want the tilapia with no seasoning – none. I want salad but no dressing, no cheese, no croutons…” I guess I was  believing that the engineer was working the process well enough that he’d be here a good while longer. So when the events of the last few weeks began, and the dominos kept falling, we all prayed as hard as we knew how. At the end he just slipped away from us or maybe more appropriately, he flew behind above the cloud cover. I know this, he fought as hard as he could. He had said “I’m a fighter pilot. We don’t quit until the bullets are striking the cockpit.” His love for his sweetheart and his family was so strong. But while the will was strong, his equipment just failed. And now we are here, today.

I sat down with Terry and Harriet last Sunday to talk about what would happen today, and while we did just that, they did a lot more for me. They went back and charted Bill’s life all the way from his birth in Eufaula, Alabama to the end. They shared their hearts with me, and I learned a lot more about the man we remember today. I’m going to share some of what I learned today, because I think it will help many of us put today in perspective. And I think looking at the route Bill plotted for himself and for his family might help us make better decisions about the paths we are on.

Alright, so everyone knows a few fundamentals of navigation- on a map, north is always up, the sun rises in the east, and compasses usually point towards magnetic north. What you lack is the knowledge that for many is the hardest to get- where you are. If you know where you are, and where you are going, then all you need is a true reference point to triangulate on and you are set. Let’s take that basic knowledge and use it here today.

The first thing you would know about Bill Standifer is that he knew where he was. From Eufala, to Atlanta, through Georgia Tech and out with a degree in electrical engineering, Bill never forgot who he was. A lot of people do, you know.  But Bill had brought with him his faith in God and he had been blessed to find the one true love of his life – his beloved Harriet.  Most of us who know them think of them together, say their names together, because they were as truly One as anyone we are likely to ever know.  They were going together when he was 18 and she was 17, after he started out dating Harriet’s sister. He soon corrected that mistake and always made the point that “I got the better sister.” The Scripture said “to act justly.” Bill did, by making and honoring commitments again and again and again throughout his life. If he said he would do something, you could take it to the bank. So his pledge to “love, to honor, to cherish, until death do us part” was only the last one he lived up to.

The commitment to serve his country was one he certainly fulfilled. He was only going to be in for five years, but once he got into fighters, he met his other passion –flying. And from then on until his retirement the couple’s path began to take them to places all over the world. I absolutely loved hearing Harriet tell about the days a young family spent  “living like the locals” in England, driving all over Europe in an Austin Healey, weekend flights to Paris and back for $25 round trip, and their Europe on $5 a day adventures. What a life! When they came back to the States even Terry was a proper English lad who wowed his chums at school when he told them “my dad eats snakes, flies fighter planes, and we just got here from England.” Skeptics were converted when every word turned out to be true. I suspect that wasn’t the only time someone heard about the life Bill, Harriet, Ross, Terry, and Chip had together and wondered if it all could be true. But it was.

“To act justly, and love mercy…”

I grew up in a family of veterans. My father and mother both served in the Pacific during WW2. My father say a lot of combat with the 24^th infantry division and my mother got to Australia, the Philippines, and Okinawa. Neither wanted to talk about what they saw.  The only thing I ever got was that “It’s not like the movies, son.”  I can’t imagine what Bill saw during his time in the service, but with 100 missions in the Vietnam War where 382 F-4s were lost in combat, and were running at 40% of aircraft during the first couple of years flying out of Thailand, I know he lost many friends while carrying out his missions.  Harriet told me there were some songs that were played at the funerals in chapel she still didn’t like to hear. So I suspect there was a lot he didn’t care to talk about either. He was true to his oath to protect the Constitution against all enemies foreign or domestic though, believing that giving the Vietnamese people a chance to make their own choices about freedom was the right thing to do. Here at home Harriet did what she could to raise the boys and waited for her love to return. And he always did.

The family lived the transient life of a military family while stateside, bouncing from assignment to assignment back and forth across the nation. Everywhere they lived, Bill and Harriet tried to help the boys see it as a great adventure. It surely must have been. Terry told me that those ants his dad ate – well while camping Bill shared that knowledge with the boys. “They taste like cherries” is what Terry told me, but he did say to make sure to get the biggest ants you could find.  Bill would find a way to get an adventure started wherever they were. At Nellis it was hunting for rocks and at Hill it was skiing and hunting for fossils. He taught the boys how to work on cars, and a lot more.

The end of his Air Force career came sooner than Bill would have liked it to. He had hoped to get a squadron of his own, but the glut of qualified people meant a lot of good men had to leave and Bill left as a Lt. Colonel.  There were people at Hill that were upset about his being passed over, and some were upset about Bill not getting his “last flight” in his beloved F-16. They didn’t know that Bill had already taken his last flight. For those of you not familiar, a last flight is where a retiring aviator can take their plane up and pretty much do whatever they want until the gas runs out. I’ve seen a couple of those and they are spectacular. Aileron rolls the length of the runway, pulling back on the stick, standing the plane on its tail going straight up out of sight, or cutting the pylons in the parking lot – most are flashy look at me events. Bill’s last flight would have seen tame to those folks, but for him it was the most exciting flight he could imagine. He flew to Enid Oklahoma , to Vance AFB where Ross was stationed and pinned his wings on. That was Bill. He gave himself away.

Decorated Pilot, instructor pilot, test director, he moved into the next phase of his life, a stint at Eglin running the test wing and then a short retirement and a long career with Wintec.  I was interested in how that transition went from a sociological point of view. Fighter pilots always seemed to have a certain worldview that sometimes didn’t play well with others. But Bill by this point had a path traced clearly of giving himself away.  No surprise then that he went on there to have an accomplished record spanning 20 years, or that the people he worked with became more than coworkers, as we can see by their attendance here today.

Bill made people better – made them want to be better. His quiet confidence made you feel as though if he believed you could do something then darn it, you could do it. Harriet talked about her decision to by a plane and learn to fly, and how she had doubts, but Bill would have none of it. She said “Bill gave me the confidence to do things I never would have done.” I could sure understand why someone would feel that way. I know that when we would be over in the fellowship hall on Wednesday nights, we’d get into some spirited discussions about one point or another and Bill wouldn’t say a word. But you could tell he was taking it all in. From my point of view, I felt he was giving me his respect while quietly encouraging me to bring the Truth to target. To where we live. He could be a tough audience there, but quick to laugh over lunch.

The last few years he spent a lot of time with his beloved grandchildren, sharing with them the things he loved to do – flying, shooting, riding roller coasters. He loved his family, was very proud of every one of them. I know having all boys might have seemed to some a loss but Bill always said the best way to have girls in the family was for your sons to marry them, and he was very thankful for his daughters in law. In return, you got a long up close and personal look at just what marriage is supposed to be. “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Terry told me that his Mom and dad “ didn't tell us how to live – they showed us.”

Yes they did.

I started out pointing out that “If you know where you are, and where you are going, then all you need is a true reference point to triangulate on and you are set.”

Let me finish quickly by pointing out this: Bill knew where he was. Because he was grounded by his parents as their only son, and shown the love of God early and often, Bill knew exactly where he was.

Bill knew where he was going. Whether it was winning the love of his life, raising three fine men, carving out a dream career as a fighter pilot, helping Wintec – Bill had a plan and he worked it. Well, so did God. There were many times in his life that except for God’s grace he could have been taken. 

Even in probably his deepest felt loss – not getting the squadron command he had worked for – God was at work. 

You see Bill had a heart attack at work. But his doctor was minutes away and the help he needed was readily available – which they would not have been had he still been in the Air Force. Bill got some extra years. Many of us got a blessing from those years. And as the end drew near, Bill knew where he was going. The Bible records Jesus saying “I go to prepare a place for you.” I wonder what hangar Bill is operating out of now.

He knew where he was and where he was going and he had that one point to triangulate from. God’s love and the arms of his sweetheart. Those arms had to let him go, but God never will.

Can I encourage you today to examine where your flight plan is taking you? To really take a look at just what you are using as your fixed reference point? To weigh what you are committed to against how much those commitments really ultimately matter.

"But Wait, There's More!"

Random thoughts after a long day so take them for what they are worth.

- Teaching teachers is worse than herding cats says the man who taught his first Professional Development class today. I could have sent some to time out.
- Seems some folks are very testy about anything that suggests we need to up our game. It seems obvious to me that if students graduate from high school and cannot read the employee manual that changes need to be made, but maybe it's just me
- "Textual Complexity" won't sell. We need another term that has some sizzle.
- Teachers are tired right now. Seems like everyone is running to catch up and really wary of anything that has a hint of making their day harder. It seems just when they get into a routine and feel like they are getting comfortable someone pops in with "But wait there's more!" with "more" being something else to prepare for.
- Technology rocks! Made some believers today after the official Professional Development session with an impromptu exposition of the tools I use in the classroom.

-Oh and by the way, early release days are very very tough and are counterproductive if the goal is to help kids learn.

Got to help a friend and fellow New Hope family member move tonight with a host of other New Hope family members.

It's a good tired.

Where's the Advil? :)

Ok. /out

It's A New School Year At It's Like Herding Cats

Tomorrow will mark the end of the first week of the 2012-2013 school year, and I am really enjoying the class. Last year I began the year at Mary Esther as a long term substitute for a teacher out on maternity leave.After the first nine weeks I was hired for a "split" class at Eglin of 3rd AND 4th graders. It was really tough at first and never easy. But I gave the kids everything I could, and I'll remember them forever.

This year I am just teaching third grade. I'm thrilled to have sixteen students that I get to see learn and grow.

You come into the classroom every morning and look at their chairs, knowing that they'll be there in an hour or so expecting you to lead them to learn, encouraging them to push past where they are and move forward - always forward.

This week has been a lot of introducing procedures, explaining how we do things, and rehearsing skills we will use all year. The last two days I have introduced some work designed to assess where the students are now, so I can work to put together plans that will meet each of their needs. We've done some work in Science, Math, Reading, and Writing. As a result I am beginning to have an idea of who might need some help catching up as we launch next week. We'll get them all where they need to be by the end of the year.

Yesterday Bunny and I got the news that the grandchild our son and daughter-in-love are expecting a BOY! It was right before the bell rang to start school and I saw it pop up on the phone "It's a Boy!" and I blurted it out. Then I had to explain what it was about. All the kids just grinned.

We'll have more of those moments this year where our family lives spill over into our school family. Kids bring it all to school with them. Most of them are military dependents and have parents who either have been deployed or will be. They've all lived at other locations. They've all had to leave friends behind. They'll tell me about new puppies, rabbits and fish. I'll hear about movies and video games. By the end of the year we'll know a lot about each other.

 I look out at them and want them to have the best year ever. I can see my own sons when they were in third grade and now look forward to my grandson heading to third grade someday. I want him to have a teacher that will do whatever it takes to make sure their students succeed. Someone like me.

So the year begins with a smile and a prayer that God will give me everything I need to make this the best third grade class in the history of Eglin Elementary.

Nobodies To Somebodies

We're in week 8 of "The Story" - a 31 week walk through the Bible, and this week finds us in the time of the Judges. There's lots of rich insight available in this part of the Scriptures. In preparation to preach it, I focused on Gideon. Personally, the story spoke to me about how God chooses the least qualified so that no one can confuse Who should get the credit when the victory is won.

Unfortunately, I didn't feel like the sermon ever got off the ground. It just didn't seem like it was connecting with the congregation. I'll have to do a better job of prayer and preparation this week and ask God to redeem my efforts today. This is where being bivocational is tough. You really have to manage not just your time, but your energy and passion.

Then too, it may be that what I thought were impactful points from the text did not hit the heart of the congregation today. So much of what we do as preachers is just trying to be faithful to the text and to the Spirit. I think I did that, so I guess I should stop whining and trust God. :)



Music - We have been enjoying a return to hymns at New Hope and have really done a good job bringing them to the congregation with our awesome praise band. But "On Jordan's Stormy Banks" never really came together because our timing was all over the board.

The rest of the music - How Can I Keep From Singing, O Praise Him, He's Got the Whole World In His Hands, and Amazing Grace really went well.

In closing, consider this - if God can use cowards, murderers, prostitutes, drunkards, and the like to do great things, why should He use us?

If we are available that is.

Pray for me as I go back to school tomorrow and seek to be God's instrument of grace to the kids. I'm excited to be teaching third grade and am ready to see them achieve everything they possibly can.

Trembling Steps In Faith

We're into week 7 of The Story at New Hope, and this week we learn or really relearn about Joshua and the Israelites as they enter the "Promised Land." So much had happened in their past that it must have been hard to just focus on the future, but somehow they did. And in Joshua Chapter 3 their first steps of obedience were met with a miracle from God.

¹³ And _j when the soles of the feet of the priests bearing the ark of the Lord, _f the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan shall be cut off from flowing, and the waters coming down from above shall _k stand in one heap"

They continued to take those steps all the way to Jericho, where God asked them to do the incredible to achieve the impossible. They were to walk around the walled city for 7 days and on the seventh God would give them the city. I can't go forward without pointing out that Jericho is one of the cities most investigated by archaeologists and that the battle we are reading about is supported by what they found.

The task God set before them was impossible. A walled city filled with fighting men that had a years' worth of harvest just brought in, and a perpetual spring supplying all the water the people would need for up to a year's siege. They would be overcome by walking, shouting, and the blowing of horns.

It was one of those times when you have to decide whether to follow God no matter what or not. Looking over their shoulder, we can see they have had lots of examples of God doing the impossible for them. But in this case, the key to the impossible requires their doing the ridiculous. And they did it. In faith.

Obedience unlocks the deeper blessings of God.

That's still true today.

A baby can change everything

We just finished a great week here with our oldest son Adam and his wife Shonda. I really hated to see them leave. Over the years Bunny and I have become more aware than ever of just what family means and how precious these times when we get together truly are. I miss them already, but I'm glad they got back to Georgia safe and sound.

Yesterday was Adam's birthday anniversary. His birthday happened on August 11th, 1978 in Macon, Georgia.

Adam changed everything.

Sure I had thought about being a father - had always thought I'd be one - but on that day when Bunny and Adam rolled out of the delivery room - I was his Daddy.

I didn't feel up to it at first. I mean that yes it had happened, but I had to grow into the job.

I went back to my job and it wasn't good enough - now that I had a family to care for. That began my real effort to progress in my job. It caused both Bunny and me to look at our priorities and decide that we were going to give Adam (and later Sean) everything we could give them to help them have every chance to succeed as they grew up.

Decisions began coming at us that would have never happened before. Adam was being cared for by a private day care person. One day early in he had a scratch on him that we didn't get a good explanation for. We decided to take the ridiculous step of having Bunny quit work and stay home - which she did until both boys were well on their way in school. With the boys grandparents we placed both boys in private school to give them that head start. I returned to college to get the degree that I should have had before Adam was born.

Time and time again we prayed for wisdom and acted on what we believed God would have us do.

I looked at Adam yesterday and saw a great husband, a good man who tries to do the right thing in every situation. Around the first of the year we believe he'll get the same shock I got when he holds his son or daughter in his arms. The difference is that he's been through fires I never had to go through, survived them, and he's taking the right steps way before I did. He's returning to college this fall to get a degree that will mean a lot to his family going forward.

I could not be more proud of him.  I have been so blessed with an awesome wife and two great sons.

But today I'm remembering the baby that changed everything.

Under the Shade Tree

Don't know whether I was running on fumes Sunday or what, but I came home after and went straight to sleep. I was awakened about 2:30 by a call from Willie Jackson, the man who lives at the blockhouse with his wife that we helped with some of the money he needed to purchase a used engine for his car. Willie came to New Hope today and worshiped with us. He's looking for odd jobs to get that engine in so he can have better transportation than his bike and take a job. What he needed to get it done was the fluids to fill the engine and transmission with and a special tool that's used with the fuel system. He got the tool but still needed the fluids.

So a while later I got up and went to Autozone and explained what I was looking for and why. One of the employees helped me find the oil, filer, and transmission fluid - which was on sale at a very low price as a kit with a pan, funnel, rags, and hand cleaner for less than the oil alone! He apologized for not being able to offer me a case discount on the transmission fluid.

Then he gave me a 10% discount, because "people need to help people." And God uses people to do just that.

When I got to the blockhouse, Willie was pulling the old engine in true shade tree mechanic fashion - under a shade tree with the hoist over a limb.

I explained to Willie how God made sure he got more than what he needed.

It was a moment of grace. It was one of those times when I remembered what I had just preached - God often works in ways we would not have anticipated, using people who we wouldn't have chosen.

Pray for Willie as he completes the engine swap and thank God for reminding us once again just how great His grace truly is.

It's A Small World

The mail comes, and within the usual bills, offers for vinyl siding, and credit cards are three items from the corners of the world. A case for Bunny's new phone from China, a postcard from one of her friends who is in South Africa, and a new picture of "Mookie," our sponsored child from Compassion who lives in Rwanda. I'm just blown away how the world has shrunk within my lifetime.

Growing up, we wandered our "neighborhood" which was all those acres and acres that surrounded us. My brother and I went so far deep into the woods that I doubt as a grown adult I'd dare to do today without sufficient firepower and secure mobile phone access. We never felt scared - only the thrill of discovery.

Seems ironic that kids can't go out of sight today in their own neighborhoods, but we can connect with the world so easily.

Few years ago at New Hope, we were focused on "Doing Something" for people overseas. And we did! We helped drill wells, provide clean water, medicines, shoes, baby formula and whatever else we could think of.. We promoted the sponsorship of kids like Mookie and many of us responded.

It was all good. And we still do some of those things today. To know that people across the world are alive and well because of what you and your friends did together with God is an awesome feeling.

Then we focused more on where we live and tried to help kids with back to school items, participate in raising money for the Relay for Life, helping people with needs here, and cooking and delivering meals to people in need in our little town. We've given thousands of dollars away doing that and helped a lot of local people. And we've been blessed to see God at work.

It's a small world.

And it needs to get smaller. I need more and deeper connections with the people in my life, and I need to see the same come to fruition as part of what New Hope is and is to be. We're not "sticky" enough.

Now following this warning is an authentic flaw in my character. I know, some people believe that pastors should be above all that stuff - past it - so mature it doesn't affect them. Well, I have been working on this and praying for help with it since I have become a Christian. God hasn't seen fit to remove it from me. Maybe it's to keep me praying. Maybe it's my "thorn." All I know is that it's real, and I wish it wasn't. So you've been warned.

Here's a problem. I am a certified unsocial person. Every personality test any of the sales organizations I worked for gave me returned results like INTJ (Myers-Briggs) which is interpreted in part to mean that an individual like that:

INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed.


So God called me to be a pastor and before that I was in sales. Yep. What a sense of humor He has.

I've struggled trying to step out of that and can do pretty well at it some/most of the time. But there's always a tendency to "button up." And I do have trouble remembering to make connections and keep them alive - two things that my wife Bunny does as easily as breathing. I need her to remind me, and then I have to actually act. It's not natural for me, but it is something I know matters and I try to push past my reluctance and reach out. But it does hurt my effectiveness and there may be people I know or have known and loved for who they are that don't know that because of it.

Again, I am praying my way through it, working on it, and accepting the help of others with gratitude. (Except when I don't - ask Bunny about that)

Pray for me, that I would be, and help others to be "glue" to cement relationships and help individuals become friends and family. I do love the people God has surrounded me with. Lord help me to show it better. I have to believe that there are others out there like me - who want to be "salt, light, and sugar."

A Witness In Wood

I took this picture a few years ago. It was at this desk, where a man built a career. He rose from salesman, to territory manager, to manage a district for a major multinational company. He'd leave his family late Sunday night or early Monday each week and drive all over the Southeast, returning on Friday. Later on, he'd fly to distant places and meet a salesman that he'd hope to help become better. But every Friday, he'd be home.

Saturday night he'd study his Sunday School lesson at this desk, preparing to teach the class he led for decades.  He was the picture of an expository Bible teacher, and could have been a good preacher if God had led him there. His calling was broader - husband, father, servant, Sunday School teacher. I can remember the men in his class and the respect they had for him as a teacher. But it wasn't just his teaching they were looking at - it was the way he lived his life. There are lots of ways to teach. He led by precept, principles, and by his practices. 

He retired from his career, and came home. Enjoyed his wife, his kids and his grandchildren - had a garden, and a shop downstairs. He and one of his long-time friends started a little business building furniture and fixing things in homes. They had a ball helping people, though I doubt they made anything from it. Still every Saturday night would find him sitting at this desk, preparing his lesson. Broadman's Commentary, Standard Sunday School Lessons, Open Bible, Amplified - were the tools of this teacher. In retirement, he did more around the church and around the house. He continued to encourage his pastor, to love his family, and to serve as an example of a true Christian man for us all, until His maker called him home.

In the aftermath, Bunny was struck with the realization that both her parents were gone. Having been through that myself years ago, I knew the feeling of having no "roots" or "pillars" to lean on that losing your parents can bring. There are still times when it sneaks up on me, and Bunny still misses her Mom and Dad a great deal. They were such a blessing.

When Bunny's oldest brother asked her what she would like to have of the things left behind, initially she couldn't think of anything. Then I remembered Curtis' desk. It was such a part of who I saw him as, and Bunny remembered him sitting at it from when she was a little girl. She had recollections of going up to him sitting there to ask him for a new dress, of the crazy "finger in a box" toy, and the silly "goofy glasses" her very reserved daddy would pull out and create laughter. This simple piece of wood was so tied to both of our memories of him - who he was, we quickly agreed we'd love to have it. So she asked with the stipulation that if one of her brothers wanted it, they should have it.

It's here. We brought it down from Georgia a couple of weeks ago.

Every Saturday night I go in my office and sit at that desk as I prepare the powerpoint for tomorrow's message and go over the lesson for Bible Study. I am very conscious of the legacy left me through the memories of Curtis Clinard. His love for Christ was real and penetrated every area of his life. 

So when I sit down, it's as if his hand is on my shoulder. And how I wish it was.

Thank you again Curtis. You trusted me with your precious daughter, encouraged and guided me through my married life, and continue to give me a standard to aspire to. I could not have asked for a better Father In Love. See you later my friend. Say hello to Ballard for me, and give Dot a kiss.

Works In Progress

Every week when we go out to deliver food in our little town, we greet people we have known for a while and we meet new people. Every one of them has a story. Sometimes they'll share. Here's one from last week.

"We met Jimmy Varner and Edwina Pittman at the blockhouse tonight.  Jimmy is disabled after suffering a stroke and being paralyzed on his left side.  He does have some movement now in his leftarm which he demonstrated for me tonight.  He also has high blood pressure and gout. 

Edwina used to be his girlfriend, but he moved another girl into their house, so now she's not.  Now she's his caregiver.  I got their whole story while I was there.  I believe she is probably a person of faith and she said God is still working on her.  I told her I am still a work in progress, too.  Edwina asked to put Jimmy on our prayer list."

 Don't you know there were smiles in heaven when two of God's children shared this moment of grace. This pastor's heart was sure warmed by reading what one of our New Hope folks had said.


That my friends, is grace in action. Well done, brother.

Friends, we are ALL works in progress. We're being "conformed into the image of Christ." Sometimes you meet people who don't want to admit that, but I'm blessed to be a part of a church that's a work in progress too.

Come and walk with us at New Hope as we experience The Story - a 31 week walk through the Big Story of God's love for mankind. You'll find yourself understanding the Bible in a deeper way as you make connections to the bits and pieces of what you already know and place them together and let the Holy Spirit show you the depth of God's love.


New Hope - a great place to know, to grow, and to go and share God's love.

Hunger Doesn't Take Holidays

Things have changed. Things are changing.

It's a challenging time to be alive, and to be called into ministering in Jesus' name.

Everyone knows Jesus. But not many KNOW Jesus in a way that would result in a changed life. And years of most churches as "holy huddles" has left folks on the outside not looking in -
or really even looking in that direction.

But we're called to love our neighbors whether or not it's easy, whether or not anyone even notices we are doing it.  To do that as if the person we were caring for was Jesus himself. Regardless of who is physically before us.

Wednesday we delivered food to people in our little town. It was July 4th. The town and most people in it were enjoying a day off and the events of the day with a big annual fireworks show at the end of it. When I was looking at that day on the calendar a few weeks ago, I wondered whether we should just take the evening off. I had a list of reasons including both truth and suspicions. It was true that the folks at New Hope could have enjoyed a break. We don't have many people, but we have people who work hard and give of themselves every week. It might have been true that lots of the people we regularly deliver to were not going to be there. Might have been. 

When we packaged the meals, we cut the number by 15 because we really thought some people wouldn't be home. We'd never delivered on a holiday before. 

As we delivered, we had people tell us "we didn't realize you guys would be here today." Walking away from the house of an elderly woman who received the 6 meals as she does every week, I shook my head wondering if we were wrong. Maybe people would be home after all.

It happened again and again. "Oh you are here!" "Don't you know it's a holiday?" or some variation. When we met up with Frank and Diane Weech at the low priced rentals we call "the Blockhouse", we only had 8 meals left. We wound up leaving what meals we had with them, then going back to church and getting more meals twice to meet the needs. We learned something - Hunger Doesn't Take Holidays

We're headed for a breakdown

The last school year - It was the hardest 9 months of my life.

There were times I came as close to quitting as anyone possibly could. Emotionally, physically (working 80 hours a week wears you down), and mentally - the grind of trying to motivate, inspire, correct and yes teach was exhausting.

The pay is laughable. Praise or encouragement is hard to come by. The system is set up to beat you down, not build you up. Don't believe me? One of the best teachers I have ever seen did not receive a "Highly Effective" rating because she didn't preempt a student's misbehavior during an evaluation. Oh she dealt with it, but to he highly effective she needs some version of that "Inception" scope. Others reported that on one visit what they did was rated unsatisfactory and on another the same techniques were rated effective. Teachers who had taught for years effectively were genuinely concerned they might be let go. It's a new system and I know it'll get better, but it was tough.

Coming from outside and knowing nothing about what teaching really was, I got through by prayers - my own and those of others for me, by my wife's unconditional support, and by help from my colleagues.

Some of that help came from two veterans - Edie Smith, a gentle soul who taught 4th grade Math and Science, and Hal Tihart, who was the only other male classroom teacher (he taught third grade). I went to them for insight, for understanding, for direction. And each in their own way was a huge help. Both went out of their way to try to get a first year teacher through the crucible. They have my thanks, and my undying respect for what they gave to me, and what they have given to hundreds of students.

They both retired last week, victims of the changes that have come to the classroom. Neither would have left on their own. I know that because I heard it from them firsthand.

Between them they had decades of experience. And they loved teaching kids.

We're losing people in droves who remember what education really is. 

There's a breakdown coming.

Don't misunderstand me. I love teaching and am leaning forward as the winds of change blow. In many ways I'm running out front of the changes to use today's tools to help today's kids learn and grow.

But we need people who have seen these winds come and go and know what will work and what won't. We need folks who have the essence of teaching down so well that they can go where the needs are and teach whatever they need to teach. Who love the classroom and focus on seeing kids becoming what they were created to be. Who aren't interested in looking cool or being the kids' friends.

We need people who consider teaching a calling, not a job.

My fear is that they will be replaced by people on their way somewhere else. Who'll see teaching as a step on the way to other goals. Who aren't interested in investing decades of their lives to change society one child at a time.

I'll be praying I'm wrong. Please pray for those who teach.

The Story - Week 1

Week one of The Story has come and as I sit here tonight I'm grateful to God for what I saw today. People were engaged in the story of the great love of God for His penultimate creation - us. We heard some amazing things today. Some resetting of our understanding of who we are to God took place. 

Think about it.

What if the wonders of Creation we marvel over - Mt. Everest, the Serengeti, the Grand Canyon and the amazing crystal clear waters around us...

What if all of that is just a backdrop for us - God's canvas to paint His masterpiece on?

How does that make you feel, knowing that God loves you that much? YOU.

You with your failures. You with your hangups. You with your anxieties and doubts.

YOU.

And that God is RELENTLESS in His pursuit of a relationship.

He never gives up on us. NEVER.

So being reminded of that... seeing those truths sinking into the hearts of the people I so dearly love today...

To use a Biblical phrase... It was very good.

Come check out The Story with us. 31 weeks deep into God's great plan. We'll hook you up with a copy of the book and walk with you through the entire Bible. You will come out of this encouraged, strengthened in your faith, and energized to to more for God and for people.

Today's Music was great too.

We began with "I'll Fly Away" - I know, right? New Hope does Gospel. Well friends, you need to come hear how our praise team lays it out there. They could play anywhere but they play at New Hope for the glory of God. 

Then we did "Mighty To Save", "New Doxology" and a new song for us written by Laura Story named "Blessings". Our hymn of commitment was "Just As I Am."

Today was a great start to what I believe will be a life-changing experience for everyone who goes through it together.

Rollercoasters

I sat down this week and tried to find a label to find a frame to put what I've experienced this year in and after racking my brain - or what's left of it - I think roller-coaster will do.

Apparently God has chosen to place me in two situations in which you can feel like a winner or feel like a failure - and do nothing differently either time. I am living solely by faith in Him. I'm not able to make the differences I want to see happen. But He is and I am trying to live every day through His power, grace, and mercy.

Take the church situation - We continue to see God doing amazing things here. We have huge holes in many places and are a shadow of what we once were - yet God provides - God... ACTS - in ways that cannot be attributed to anything we have done. We're feeding about 130 people every week. We've seen people far from God draw near. And yet there are weeks when I prepare the same way I did for the "good years" and very few show up for worship. The feeling of failure is real to me. I defeat it with the power of prayer, the knowledge of God's absolute faithfulness and ever-abiding presence, and the companionship of my brothers and sisters at New Hope who labor with me.

Things happen. On a Wednesday night when I'm absolutely exhausted from a hard day at school with kids pressing against control and "feedback" from adults that's not uplifting (that'd be sarcasm), I rush to church to help prepare the meals for delivery. A fellow New Hope pilgrim helps me plate the meals, another has already cooked the sauce and started the water and green beans, others have affixed labels to the plates and laid them out. Another comes in and we divide the meals and leave to deliver. I come back to get more. Two people jump up and fix them and I leave again.

I finally find the home of a woman whose neighbor came to New Hope and talked to Bunny about having someone to visit her. She had moved down here from Georgia and had really hard times. She needs family/community - she needs the love of Christ. I had missed worship practice already and was about to be late for prayer. I stayed 20 minutes and listened. And prayed. And left her a meal.

Coming back, we begin our prayer and Bible study which this week centers on a comparative study of Islam. Only we never get there, as a visitor (who had been drinking "but not hard liquor") was trying to justify himself and put his girlfriend in her place. I was so proud of all the New Hope folks around that table. When the visitor tried to use the "you are judging me" card - everyone to a person acknowledged that they too were sinners saved purely by God's grace. When he argued "I know I am going to heaven" everyone rejoiced hoping that was true and refusing to box with that straw-man. We continued to talk about God's grace through Jesus and a total surrender of life to Him.

It was exhilarating.

We were who God had called us to be, doing exactly what God had placed us there to do - point to His Son and the surpassing greatness of the cross. I got to see what God has done in the hearts of the people of New Hope who I love with all my heart. They were kind, compassionate, loving, and completely grounded in the grace of Jesus Christ - and the necessity of it for everyone. I wish I had videoed it so I could have played it back for them. They were instruments of God's grace. They were agents of reconciliation. They were disciples of Jesus being true to the commandment of "love your neighbor as yourself."

It wasn't a Damascus road the man was on though. He grew frustrated with his girlfriend and really our interaction. We were not there to fight. We were there to love as Jesus loved. He wasn't ready to hear it so he left. (We are all praying he returns.) But his girlfriend came back in and stayed, opening her heart to us and admitting her need for Christ. We finished praying for/with her and I left in amazement.

Rollercoasters.

On Mother's Day

On July 15th, 1920, on the wrong side of the tracks down on Roff Avenue near "Mr Willingham's Textile Mill", a little girl was born to Henry and Bertie Bowden. Her parents were millworkers who had moved from the farm to the city in search of a better life. Each had lost a spouse to death before they met each other, and the family was a blend of Fosters and Bowdens.

The little girl grew to adulthood in that shotgun house, becoming the first of her family to get a high school diploma. During those years, she saw a sister die in a fire, a brother killed when his car stalled on the railroad tracks that ran parallel to the road. When she was 12, her father was hit by a car and died the next day. Hurt came often to Roff Avenue. The family grew tight - they had to. Somehow the widow "Bertie" raised all their kids and another couple of girls besides. Lodie was the big sister now, and she went to school and worked in the mill too. Whatever it took to help, she did.

She met a young man who lived in the same mill village, and just as World War Two began, they married. He was sent away, and in a year or so, she enlisted herself. They saw each other once during the War, in Manila.

After the war, they had both changed. Everything had.

They divorced, and then love found them again, and they remarried.

One day they got the news she was pregnant with twins. Nine months later they got the news the babies wouldn't survive. Delivered, they lived less than a week. But a couple who had seen so much pain and held so much heartache, just wouldn't give up hope. One year later, I was born - the young woman was my Mother - Lodie Marie Bowden Wilson.

She passed away in 1991 - much too soon. No other person had more influence on who I became than she.  Not one day in the years we shared on this earth did I not awake knowing that my Mother loved me deeply. We had some amazingly stubborn battles of will, but I always knew she loved me.

When you are the recipient of love, like a Mother's love, most of the time you are blind to it. Days come and go, sacrifices are made for you. Some you might realize but poorly comprehend. Others you miss completely. When your children come along, understanding does too, and then when the giver passes away, the gifts are made visible in the loss of the one who gave them. I think someone wrote "Now we see through a glass darkly..." and that is so so true.

I cannot give her anything now. All I can do is give to others as I have been given to. When I was reading Philippians one day, I came across this. Those of you who read it,  think about your life, and what someone years after you are gone will write about it in review. Will it be God-honoring? Will it be praiseworthy? What will be your legacy? Will you have pointed your family to Jesus? Can you write as Paul does here?

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9 NIV

Remember, we love, because He first loved us.

It's called...

Grace!

Davi

Truth In Advertising

I used to work for the world's biggest advertiser. We spent more money in more ways that anyone on the planet to get our products in front of people. When you combined that with the fact that in most cases our products were the best in their particular market segment, it made for some good selling for folks like me who called on stores and warehouses. If you couldn't sell Crest toothpaste, Pepto-Bismol, Folgers coffee, Crisco, Charmin etc. with all that going for you, well... there were people waiting in line to get your job who would.

Going to a supermarket or drugstore chain headquarters I could truthfully say we had the best product with the most support for them to sell it to the consumer. There were times when I convinced the retailer to sell my product to the consumer for LESS than the retailer paid for it. Why would they do that? Because people would make a special trip to buy my product, and once they were there they would buy other items too.

Those were the days.

Now as the pastor of a church I am working on an advertisement for our local newspaper. It's been a while since we advertised at all. We preferred spending the money on orphanages, wells, water purification, or HIV meds. But we need a greater presence in the area, and we have a couple who wants to see us get that so much they have paid for the ads. So now the dilemma arises - what do we say in the ads?

Unlike in my previous advertising experience, I can not confidently say that we have the best "product with the best support." That'd be wrong in a couple of ways. I really don't want to think of what we do as a "product." And when I think of what support we have here, I think of God. We have amazingly generous people who give of their time and money sacrificially - but it's all God's time and God's money - so it doesn't feel right to brag about that. And when I look at what we have to offer, lots of churches have more.

So now what?

I think we make our case by what we do.
We admit that we are imperfect.
Incomplete.

And that we can do anything through Jesus Christ if it is His will.

I'm deeply in love with the people God has placed at New Hope and with the community God has given us to serve. I expect we'll never be everything everyone wants. I accept that I will, that we will - disappoint people.

But I will follow Jesus and encourage people in my care to do the same. We will not hoard. We will not fear or worry about the future. We will love, we will give sacrificially, we will serve the least of these.

So if you see an ad for an "Imperfect Church", come see what it looks like in person. :)

When God's Servant Is Tired

It's Sunday morning, I'm in my favorite place getting ready to do what God has called me to do. And yet I am fighting waves of feelings of unworthiness, inability, and fear. I've been preaching since 1991, so there's little reason for a sudden lack of confidence. I've been serving the people of New Hope now for 12 years, so they know me well and my strengths and weaknesses better than any group of people on earth, and they love me anyway. And I cherish them.

The irony is that I am preaching on what faith is today, out of a passage that I preached so many times when I was first starting out - filling in different churches all around Macon GA, that Bunny and Sean not only could have preached it, but they were tired of hearing it. :) I know this text and have gone to it many many times in my life to remind myself just what true faith is.

But I don't feel all that strong today. In fact I feel very weak.

I think I'm tired.

We've been in a battle to make New Hope all God wants it to be for going on two years now. There are fewer of us here, but we're doing more ministry than ever. I'm working full time at school doing the most exhausting, most demanding job I have ever had. Weekends are just that time when you catch up on what you couldn't get done during the week. And I'm tired.

I'm rereading my notes for this morning, and I wrote "Don't trust your feelings. They will lie to you. Trust in God - totally - in everything - for everything. Whether you feel like it or not."

And the Holy Spirit just rapped on my noggin to say "practice what you preach, preacher."

So that's what I'm going to do today. I am believing that God will bring strength into my weakness. I am believing that God's Holy Spirit will speak through me. I am believing that because we are here today, that God will be glorified and something significant will happen that will alter someone's life for eternity.

And I'll do all that... by faith.

Math Wizards!

Dr. Combs and one of my students who mastered her Math fundamentals.

Who knew? I decided to go all out trying to get my kids to learn their Math fundamentals, so I signed them all up for Xtramath.com and incentivized them to play it every day. I dangled candy, school store credit, and anything I could think of in front of them to get them to focus on Math which almost all of them have struggled with all year.

This student went from getting 25 out of hundred right to 100 out of 100 right in under 3 seconds for each fact - within two weeks!
Practice makes perfect!

So here she is receiving her framed certificate and a $10 gift card for Walmart from our principal Dr. Combs. Since this I have had three other kids get there - some for multiple math operations. They are about to put me in the poor house, but seeing their thrill at achieving this and the affirmation that Dr. Combs and others are giving them is defintely worth it. I hope it carries into FCAT testing next week.

Teachable Moments

It was the Friday before our week of state high-stakes testing called the FCAT. The pressure on kids and teachers was building minute by minute it seemed. The kids know that the tests decide whether they pass or not. The teachers know that the desire or lack of it to pass, the way the children might feel, or any number of factors they can't control might literally cost them their career. So the anxiety builds day by day.

We try to lower it through thorough preparation - through encouragement and praise. We test to find out where the weaknesses are and we teach and reteach. It's systematic and professional. We're told - and we hope that pre-work - will be effective. But there are certain things that go beyond that. There are moments when teaching happens - really happens. One of those occurred yesterday.

Every morning, I have the kids do an opening activity. It can be a few math problems, a topic to research quickly on the PCs, or a short one page story to read and answer questions on. The idea is to help build skills over time. Recently one of the best teachers I know sent my the worksheets she uses. They have a fact about each weekday on them and have been well received by the kids.

Well yesterday in was about Apollo 13's "Houston we have a problem."

I had other work scheduled for the first hour of the day after they completed the task. But they kept asking me questions about the worksheet.

So I went to the PC and found the clip from the movie, and Tom Hanks captivated them.

More questions shot out, so I found a National Geographic clip with the actual film of the astronauts and support people explaining what it was like - punctuated with the real film of the events as them happened. At various points I'd stop and ask and answer questions, relating them to what we had learned this year.

Jim Lowell had to hand input the coordinates at one point to ensure the spacecraft was aimed at the right point. Off one way and they'd shoot past Earth into space. An error the other way would mean their death as they burned up in Earth's atmosphere. Lowell did the calculations as we watched. It was Math we had practiced the day before.

Then he asked Houston to check his work. Like we do.

That sort of thing went on for 30 minutes. At the end of the film, when the astronauts splashed down safely, the kids clapped.

And I asked them "Did you see Jim Lowell do that Math?" "When do you think he learned that?

4th grade.

"Do you think it mattered whether he had worked hard and learned all he could in fourth grade?" "Do you think it could matter whether you work hard for me while you are in the classroom?"

One child said "It sure could. They could have died if he had goofed off in school."

SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wrapped it up reminding them how proud I was of them, of how hard they had worked, and how I knew they were going to ROCK the FCAT. Then it was time to leave for PE and they were out the door.

Teaching. It happens sometimes. :)

The Silence of Saturday Before Easter

"It's over." "He's gone."

We miss it almost every year. We forget that the people we read about in the accounts of the events that make up Easter weekend even had a Saturday filled with nothing more than grief, loss, and crushing doubt. The day before they saw their worst nightmares come true before their eyes. Everything they had given three years of their lives to - the central pivot point to every step they made - was dead and buried.

They shared one of the questions that dog us even today - What now?

Some are paralyzed with grief and become almost catatonic, unable to do anything at all. Loss does that.

You lose a family member that has always "been there for you." Now you and the rest of the family have to figure out how to relate to each other - how to live as a family.

You lose a  job that provided for your family, and gave you satisfaction and a sense of identity - is lost. Now you are dealing with a pack of howling doubts about how you are going to make it, and even whispers asking who are you and are you capable of getting another job. The tightness in your throat, the rumbling in your stomach just won't go away. And your family is looking at your for guidance and for security.

Others make peace with the loss and move on, doing what they believe they should do. Little noted in the accounts of the days of Easter are the women who went shopping on Saturday for the spices they'd use to make sure Jesus' body was prepared to the max. If they couldn't change the past, they'd be found faithful with what they could do.

That's living on Saturday, isn't it. The Saturday between Good Friday and Easter.

Living in the fellowship of suffering.

So let's embrace it for what it can teach us about God and His relationship with those who love Him.

First, let's eliminate the biggest fear. God is not dead, He is not asleep, He isn't pretending not to notice our pains and sorrows. We might think so based on what we've seen happen, but if Easter teaches us anything, it should be that God is always at work - even when we can't see Him.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Deut 31:6 (NLT) BTW, that's repeated in Hebrews 13 as well.

So God is at work, then what is this experience designed to do? Well, what were we told about faith?
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Heb 11:1 (NLT)

Listen - I've been there and done this too many times. When the storms come, you have to move toward a deeper understanding and practice of your faith. You have to put your fears and doubts behind you and use them as a push to go farther. It's NOT EASY. You might say "I can't do it." And really, many of us can't.

But GOD can.  - your absence of what it took created the perfect opportunity for the Holy Spirit to work in and through you. God showed up BIG TIME that first Easter weekend, and His power is available to you today. 


Resurrection power.

Think about it. Pray about it.

Then go out and live an Easter life no matter what day it is.

Because the believer in Jesus knows life's greatest secret.

It may be Saturday - but Sunday's coming.