The Long Walk

Bunny and I had boys, so I'll never experience what my Father in love did that December day back in 1973. Curtis Clinard had boys too - three of them - but he had only one daughter. And on that day, he took a long walk down the aisle of Bethesda Baptist Church and gave her hand to me.

He'd have been 86 today.

And right now, I'm sitting at the desk he used for so many years to prepare thousands of Sunday School lessons. I'm working on tomorrow's sermon about heaven - the place where God will dry every tear - and thanking God for Curtis Clinard's gifts to me.

First among them was my bride, who has been everything I had ever dreamed of or hoped for in a wife. She's just amazing in so many ways - an awesome Mother to two boys, a great pastor's wife, a soul mate and one true love. There aren't enough words to say everything I could say about her and what having her in my life has meant to me.

But Curtis gave me more than just my bride's hand. 

He gave me an example of how a Christian man should live. Over the years I had some opportunities to call on some of his old customers when he was with Carnation-Albers. When I'd mention his name, every one of them would ask two things, "How do you know Curtis?, and "how's he doing?"

Had one laugh out loud when I told him that I had married Curtis' daughter. "You must be some salesman. I'll bet that was a tough sale, because Curtis loved his daughter." I smiled right back and said, "You better believe it was - but it sure was worth it. I got the woman of my dreams and married into a great family to boot." 

In every instance of meeting someone who knew him in a business relationship, I heard of Curtis' integrity and genuine desire to build relationships with people and help his customers any way he could. For someone who was just starting out in sales, it was a great lesson. To have people would remember me 10 years or more later in that same way became my goal.

Having Curtis as my father in law was truly a gift from God. One that is still shaping how I live and relate to God and others to this day. If following God is truly a "long walk in the same direction" as Eugene Peterson has written, then Curtis' long walk marked a trail for me to follow, as it did for others as well.

Curtis had a wonderful journey in this life, for God had blessed him with his one true love, Dot. When she passed away, there was less of him. The next few years were not nearly as full of joy as when they were together, but he still brightened up when family came by.

And then he was gone too. 

As I finish my sermon on heaven for tomorrow, I'm sure Curtis would approve. The title is "Count Me In" and he already has been.

Happy birthday Curtis.

See you later. 

A Witness In Wood

I took this picture a few years ago. It was at this desk, where a man built a career. He rose from salesman, to territory manager, to manage a district for a major multinational company. He'd leave his family late Sunday night or early Monday each week and drive all over the Southeast, returning on Friday. Later on, he'd fly to distant places and meet a salesman that he'd hope to help become better. But every Friday, he'd be home.

Saturday night he'd study his Sunday School lesson at this desk, preparing to teach the class he led for decades.  He was the picture of an expository Bible teacher, and could have been a good preacher if God had led him there. His calling was broader - husband, father, servant, Sunday School teacher. I can remember the men in his class and the respect they had for him as a teacher. But it wasn't just his teaching they were looking at - it was the way he lived his life. There are lots of ways to teach. He led by precept, principles, and by his practices. 

He retired from his career, and came home. Enjoyed his wife, his kids and his grandchildren - had a garden, and a shop downstairs. He and one of his long-time friends started a little business building furniture and fixing things in homes. They had a ball helping people, though I doubt they made anything from it. Still every Saturday night would find him sitting at this desk, preparing his lesson. Broadman's Commentary, Standard Sunday School Lessons, Open Bible, Amplified - were the tools of this teacher. In retirement, he did more around the church and around the house. He continued to encourage his pastor, to love his family, and to serve as an example of a true Christian man for us all, until His maker called him home.

In the aftermath, Bunny was struck with the realization that both her parents were gone. Having been through that myself years ago, I knew the feeling of having no "roots" or "pillars" to lean on that losing your parents can bring. There are still times when it sneaks up on me, and Bunny still misses her Mom and Dad a great deal. They were such a blessing.

When Bunny's oldest brother asked her what she would like to have of the things left behind, initially she couldn't think of anything. Then I remembered Curtis' desk. It was such a part of who I saw him as, and Bunny remembered him sitting at it from when she was a little girl. She had recollections of going up to him sitting there to ask him for a new dress, of the crazy "finger in a box" toy, and the silly "goofy glasses" her very reserved daddy would pull out and create laughter. This simple piece of wood was so tied to both of our memories of him - who he was, we quickly agreed we'd love to have it. So she asked with the stipulation that if one of her brothers wanted it, they should have it.

It's here. We brought it down from Georgia a couple of weeks ago.

Every Saturday night I go in my office and sit at that desk as I prepare the powerpoint for tomorrow's message and go over the lesson for Bible Study. I am very conscious of the legacy left me through the memories of Curtis Clinard. His love for Christ was real and penetrated every area of his life. 

So when I sit down, it's as if his hand is on my shoulder. And how I wish it was.

Thank you again Curtis. You trusted me with your precious daughter, encouraged and guided me through my married life, and continue to give me a standard to aspire to. I could not have asked for a better Father In Love. See you later my friend. Say hello to Ballard for me, and give Dot a kiss.

Mostly

"It's funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools - friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty - and said 'do the best you can with these, they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do. "
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)


Mostly, they do. But sometimes they don't.

Hard weekend.


Tough trip to Macon to see Curtis Clinard, one of the finest Christian men I have ever known. Not a perfect man, there was only one of those and we nailed him to a cross. But a forgiven man, who in response to that great act of God's grace, has tried for nigh onto 84 years to live it out. And yes, he's old now, but he wasn't that old when we saw him last. It's as if age all of a sudden caught up. 


And it broke my beloved's heart and it broke mine. 

He's in the house that was made a home by the presence of his bride, Dot. It's obvious from the moment you enter it now that she's not there. And Curtis can only live with her memory, and that's both comfort and pain. Bunny showed him some pictures of family on her laptop Friday night and he was interested and engaged. But when one of his beloved Dot came on the screen, his eyes instantly filled with tears and this man who had a will of steel for so many years, began to sob. 

We'd give everything we have to make it right for him. We'd take him in down here and honor him for the rest of our lives with whatever he needed because in doing it, we could partially return what he so freely shared with us. 

And he won't leave his memories. So we came home. Shaken.

It was a tough trip.

We left him wanting us to stay longer to come back to the place we left Macon almost twelve years ago for and the church we love and serve. Had a tough night sleep from the emotional toil and physical problems brought on by it. Then got up and went to church to be among friends - to be with family. 

But it was a tough day there too. A lot of the family was missing.

So I'm writing this to close the book on the week that was, and praying that God will lead Bunny and me into the week He has prepared for us. I'm praying it's filled with joy. We could use some joy right about now.


"...most of the time, all you have is the moment, and the imperfect love of the people around you."
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)

20 minutes, 4 times a day

Got off the phone with my Father in Law a little while ago. It had been a while since I had talked with him. He'll be 83 in November, and has suffered much the last few years with physical problems. The biggest struggle of all though has been the loss of fellowship with his sweetheart, Dot. I don't think any of us can believe she is gone. But Curtis is coping as best he can with being alone.

We talked about a wide range of subjects - from how horrible Vista is to him, all the way through his latest doctor visit (which was a good one!) and to what he eats and how he breaks his meals up into 4 a day so he can take his medicine and be able to go to bed and get up on his schedule.

He said that each time he does sits down to eat, he spends the time that he would have spent talking with Dot - talking with God in prayer. He told me this tonight - "I have 20 minutes worth of prayer, four times a day now. My list just keeps getting longer, but I believe in the power of God and prayer."

I told him I was glad I was on his list, and that he was on mine.

For me to know that my father in law, with all the needs he has, and all the struggles he goes through daily - to know that he is praying for me and for New Hope...

Touches my heart and makes me praise God for the blessings He has given through the life of Curtis Clinard.

I'd appreciate your prayers too.

Grace and peace,

David

Home and away

Bunny and I made the trip up to Macon Friday and came back late this evening. Since last September we have driven over 20,000 miles. Given we have not gone on vacation, and typically a tank of gas lasts us 3 weeks, I'm going to say that trips to Macon make up the bulk of that.

When Bunny's Mom came down with the illness that eventually claimed her, we started making the trips. Sometimes they were emergency got to get there right now whatever day it is dashes. Most were go up Thursday evening, get there before 1AM Friday, then hit the ground running later that morning. I lost track of how many times we went, but toward the end it went to every other week, and then every week. Since Bunny teaches piano during the week, she can't phone it in - she has to be there. And since I'm a pastor, my Sunday's are tied up. So I switched my off day to Friday, and Bunny cleared hers too. And we went - all through the fall, into the winter, and to the cusp of Spring. We were totally focused on Dot and willing to do whatever it took to help her get well and help Curtis cope. She was THE priority.

But we lost her.

And the aftershocks in Bunny's heart continue. Bunny slept almost all the way back home tonight. I think she was just emotionally spent. The trip was almost as tough as the one we took to be at the funeral.

This weekend was at her father's request - to clean out Dot's closet. To give you an idea of how hard this is for Curtis (Bunny's Dad) - he changed closets rather than be faced with Dot's clothes every day - without Dot. My mother in love was a beautiful woman with the taste to match. Bunny carefully gathered, then separated and placed the clothes in black plastic bags - crying as she did so, because over and over and over again she remembered what her mother looked like in those clothes.

On Dot, they were beautiful.

But now they are just clothes. Nice clothes. Certainly still can be used. They will look good on the right person.

Yet Bunny and her dad KNOW what those clothes could look like.

I'm sitting here thinking that when Bunny, Curtis and I read and think about heaven and its beauty, we're as limited as the folks who will receive those clothes.

Dot on the other hand, KNOWS what heaven looks like.

And my thanks to God for that will be the last thought before I fall asleep tonight.

Too hard

Just talked to my father in law on the phone. So hard.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
Psalms 34:18 (NLT)

Pray for the Clinard family as they go through this valley of shadows.

Lord Jesus,

You who came to bind wounds and heal hearts.

Hear my prayer.

Pour out your mercy on Curtis and Dot Clinard.

Immerse them in Your Love.

For they are Your cherished possessions.

And need You.

Amen

Whatever you can do - do it

Back from a couple days in Macon helping Bunny care for her Mom. She's so intense at doing that when we are up there that even though I want to do everything I can do, many times I am one step too late. She's already at it when I'm just getting up.

It would be a great joy to report that Dot is much better, but I cannot. We keep hoping that she will begin eating enough to help her body heal. I watched Bunny and her dad do everything they could think of to get her to eat even a little. I did contribute a Wendy's frosty that Dot ate a little of. Maybe next time up I'll get her a NuWay.

Dot recognized Bunny and me immediately. She watched TV, read magazines, laughed with Bunny at you tube clips, and as long as she could hear you was engaged in the conversation. Dot's still Dot. Frail, yes, but she's such a treasure.

I hope everyone that enters her bedroom tries to get her to eat something.

I'm very tired when I write this, but I want to put this out there for anyone who might read this blog (I know there must be someone :) ).

If you still have your parents - honor them with your prayers, with your presence, and with preeminence of priority when you are with them.

In other words - it ain't about you.

It's about them.

So come visit to listen. Talk with them about things they want to talk about. Listen to them even if they tell you a story you have heard before. Bring in life and encouragement - sow hope! Give them every moment's attention you can for as long as you are there. Be available to do whatever they want you to do. They've given you more time than you'll ever realize. Time to pay it back.

For you will not always have that chance.

Where In the World Are David and Bunny

We're here in Lizella Georgia for a couple of days to visit with Curtis and help care for Bunny's Mom.

So talk among yourselves, as I'll be pretty busy.

I am really looking forward to Sunday at New Hope.

Commitment

"I Curtis, take you Dot, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

There might have been a "plight thee my troth" when Curtis gave his word that he would remain faithful to his beautiful bride over 60 years ago, but whatever the words that were used that day, the man has lived out that commitment.

This picture was taken just last weekend, when Bunny and I were thrilled to see how well Dot was looking. This week has been another trial for her. She may be on her way back to the hospital tomorrow. Curtis has given of himself these past few days -spent himself - in fighting to get her cared for by the nursing home - in staying there with her sometimes over 12 hours.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - Love is action.

Pray for Dot Clinard and Curtis Clinard if you would. They mean so much to us and are having such a hard time just now.

It was at this desk, where a man built a career. He rose from salesman, to territory manager, to manage a district. He'd leave his family late Sunday night or early Monday each week and drive all over the Southeast, returning on Friday. Later on, he'd fly to distant places and meet a salesman that he'd hope to help become better. But every Friday, he'd be home.

Saturday night he'd study his Sunday School lesson at this desk, preparing to teach the class he led for decades. I can remember the men in his class and the respect they had for him as a teacher. But it wasn't just his teaching they were looking at - it was the way he lived his life. There are lots of ways to teach.

He retired from his career, and came home. Enjoyed his wife, his kids and his grandchildren - had a garden, and a shop downstairs. Still every Saturday night would find him sitting at the desk, preparing a lesson. Broadman Commentary, Standard Sunday School Lessons, Open Bible, Amplified - tools of the teacher. In retirement, he did more around the church and around the house. He had the time.

A stroke came, and he was no longer able to teach the class he loved. Some of the other things he enjoyed were affected too. Still, he adjusted. He did what the doctors told him. Lost weight, took his medicine. Though he was not teaching anymore, he still studied his lesson on Saturday night.

Now his wife of over 60 years has fallen ill, and her recuperation comes along slowly. She's being cared for in a nursing home for now. He can tell you how many days it has been since she's been home. Her picture is placed near the desk so he can see his sweetheart every time he sits there.


And the same man who left home to take care of her and his children years ago - still does. Every day he drives himself over to where she is. He can't stay there all day, but after he goes home at lunch to take his medicine, he comes back and stays until darkness approaches.

Then he kisses her and returns to his home alone.

I looked at this desk and realized this weekend, that the lessons he taught all those years at Bethesda Baptist church about what the Bible said...

... he is still teaching.

Every day.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her...
Eph 5:25 (NLT)

Friends it's one thing to follow when the road is easy and the pathway is bright. The mark of a true disciple is that they are just as faithful in the hard times. I've seen many a man in situations like this one turn inward and pull back from what needs to be done.

Not Curtis Clinard. He's got a man's faith. The Marine Corps motto is "Semper Fidelis" - always faithful. Well friends, the decisions you make today determine whether that is true of you or not. Curtis made many decisions - first to trust Jesus with His life. Then he pledged to love and honor his wife "in sickness or in health." He has. He is.

That's why I added that desk to a list of my sacred places. God used Curtis to prepare other men for trials for many years. Now the demonstration of how to bear them is being shown to all who watch. He's still teaching us.

Merry Christmas to all of you,

David Wilson

Visit with me at my blog:
http://itslikeherdingcats.blogspot.com/
Or visit New Hope!
http://www.newhopevalp.org/

Sacred Places

It was at this desk, a man built a career. He rose from salesman, to territory manager, to manage a district. He'd leave his family late Sunday night or early Monday each week and drive all over the Southeast, returning on Friday. Later on, he'd fly to distant places and meet a salesman that he'd hope to help become better. But every Friday, he'd be home.

Saturday night he'd study his Sunday School lesson at this desk, preparing to teach the class he led for decades. I can remember the men in his class and the respect they had for him as a teacher. But it wasn't just his teaching they were looking at - it was the way he lived his life. There are lots of ways to teach.

He retired from his career, and came home. Enjoyed his wife, his kids and his grandchildren - had a garden, and a shop downstairs. Still every Saturday night would find him sitting at the desk, preparing a lesson. Broadman Commentary, Standard Sunday School Lessons, Open Bible, Amplified - tools of the teacher. In retirement, he did more around the church and around the house. He had the time.

A stroke came, and he was no longer able to teach the class he loved. Some of the other things he enjoyed were affected too. Still, he adjusted. He did what the doctors told him. Lost weight, took his medicine. Though he was not teaching anymore, he still studied his lesson on Saturday night.

Now his wife of over 60 years has fallen ill, and her recuperation comes along slowly. She's being cared for in a nursing home for now. He can tell you how many days it has been since she's been home. Her picture is placed near the desk so he can see his sweetheart every time he sits there.




And the same man who left home to take care of her and his children years ago - still does. Every day he drives himself over to where she is. He can't stay there all day, but after he goes home at lunch to take his medicine, he comes back and stays until darkness approaches.

Then he kisses her and returns to his home alone.

I looked at this desk and realized this weekend, that the lessons he taught all those years at Bethesda Baptist church about what the Bible said...

... he is still teaching.

Every day.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her...
Eph 5:25 (NLT)

Friends it's one thing to follow when the road is easy and the pathway is bright. The mark of a true disciple is that they are just as faithful in the hard times. I've seen many a man in situations like this one turn inward and pull back from what needs to be done.

Not Curtis Clinard. He's got a man's faith.

That's why I added that desk to a list of my sacred places. God used Curtis to prepare other men for trials for many years. Now the demonstration of how to bear them is being shown to all who watch. He's still teaching us.