No Sale Evangelism - Jim Drake's On the Right Track

Great article by Jim Drake.

A sample:

For follow up this year, we have ADOPTED the kids that came to camp. We are bridging and building relationships with them through cards, birthday’s, events and an introduction to care. We have signed up for one little girl who has expressed a desire to know Christ, but there will be some obstacles (no church relationships here, etc)
Do we give up? No way! We have to be creative how to make a relationship with someone who needs the savior and needs to know love. You think my eyes will be attentive toward the paper now when I see awards and programs? You bet–I have a name on my heart to pray for and to ask the Holy Spirit to give divine interaction. That’s thinking RELATIONSHIP before the sale!

Read it all folks. It's really good.


It's time to admit we can't save anyone and let the Holy Spirit do what only He can do, while we love every single person we come in contact with like they were Jesus.  

Stop Funding Church Plants? David Fitch Stirs the Pot

I have friends who have invested their lives into bringing Jesus' message to people who don't know what it means to be part of a community of people who are loving God and each other and caring for their neighbors - in other words, a church. These friends are real heroes to me. They are church planters. (I'm looking at you Tim Fowler and Joe Gnatek) Bunny and I were involved in a church splant early in our ministry with a group of people called Grace Baptist Church in Juliette Georgia. It was the best of times and the worst of times, but those people were awesome and things happened among us that still give me goosebumps.

So when I share this article from David Fitch, I am not anti-planting. Planting works... when it works. Tim and Joe have proven that as have many others.

But I do think that we need to step back and look at what we are doing and what the real costs and benefits are. Here at New Hope, we run the leanest we can, and will get leaner still when I am teaching. I think we'll do more ministry then, meeting more people and being able to help more. I like the idea he puts forth of teams of people rather than one family, and I like the idea of people working in the community alongside the folks they would do life with in a church.

So I guess I would give Fitch more a listen than most. Click over and check the article out.

STOP FUNDING CHURCH PLANTS and Start Funding Missionaries: A Plea to Denominations

Ed Stetzer On Small Churches

Ed Stetzer writes in Outreach Magazine:

Church leaders in America also tend to think big is good and bigger is better, but Jesus says that small is reflective of the kingdom of God. It starts as something small, but it will not stay small and, ultimately, it will change everything. A revolutionary movement begins with only a handful of subversives, but eventually expands so widely that it can overthrow a king with an army. The subversive kingdom starts small, but ultimately overwhelms the Devil and his minions when Jesus returns as reigning King, replacing the deepest darkness with brilliant light.

Jesus is unembarrassed, unashamed and unperturbed by describing the Kingdom using small things. That is His point. He says the mustard seed "is the smallest of all the seeds." He is emphasizing the smallness of the kingdom of God. But more to the point, He is describing how small can be subversive.

from this excellent article

At New Hope Valparaiso, we're small. But the impact that we are having in our community would have you think we are bigger than we are. There's no way we should be here. No way we should do what we do. Except God is in it. I could tell you story after story of how He's led, He's provided, He's opened doors for us to be His hands and His feet.

Don't misunderstand. We want to grow. We work hard to let people know and encourage them to come and join us on the journey. We hope to see this mission spread to other people captivated by Jesus' call to follow.

But we're not measuring ourselves against other churches. We're only looking to see how faithful we are to the call. If you are interested in joining a group of people who see God at work every week, come and see us. We'll make room. :)

Eating for Missions :)

A local restaurant, Cafe Bienville gives its patrons churches a rebate of a percentage of the meal's cost when the customer brings in the Sunday worship bulletin. We love the restaurant anyway so when a bunch of folks from New Hope went there after church a couple weeks ago, it wasn't like we were sacrificing. Baptists like to eat. It's one of our spiritual distinctives.

I actually forgot about our trip until the check came in. Lo and behold it was enough to pay for the food I bought to feed our folks and do 50 take out meals to deliver to the community. So that's what we did. Cafe Bienville fed a bunch more people than they knew they had.

I love that! Local folks help a local business, get blessed by their hospitality and food, and then that local business helps those folks - bless folks with the food they need to make it. May God bless the generous folks at Cafe Bienville.

God's work through New Hope - come join it!

Friday Night Thoughts

This quote got me thinking...


"I don’t know why life isn’t constructed to be seamless and safe, why we make such glaring mistakes, things fall so short of our expectations, and our hearts get broken and out kids do scary things and our parents get old and don’t always remember to put pants on before they go out for a stroll. I don’t know why it’s not more like it is in the movies, why things don’t come out neatly and lessons can’t be learned when you’re in the mood for learning them, why love and grace often come in such motley packaging."
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)


Our friend Allan had a birthday this week. His 29th. 


And in a luminous pair of nights, his friends at New Hope made sure he'll never forget that he's loved. First, on his birthday Tuesday, Pam and JC Roberts made some of Allan's birthday wishes come true by taking him out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's, and then they all went to the rack and rode the Karts. Allan had a blast as did everyone involved.

Then the next night as part of our Wednesday fellowship meal, we had a cake with 29 candles and some gifts.

Yep, I did place those candles too close together. :)

The world would see Allan as "motley packaging" in that he's developmentally disabled. And yet...not only does Allan frequently provide those moments of joy and laughter, but in loving him we learn more about what love really is. New Hope loves Allan deeply.


And that same world might look at New Hope and see a smaller church with less. But on days like today, when I'm looking back and seeing how large the hearts are of many of the people in this church... 


Sometimes God wraps His best gifts in "motley packaging."

If you are looking for his monument...

Sunday's message as we walked through Paul's second letter to the church at Corinth, centered on just what God would have us understand "success" to be. As always, the one who delivers the message never really knows what the ultimate effect of it will be. I can hope that it will affect someone's heart and direct them to a closer walk with God. But I really won't know. I'm just a tradesman, an architect using God's blueprints to help people build lives that will stand the test of time.

The picture above is of St Paul's Cathedral in London. It was taken during the Nazi "blitz" bombings of that great city. I do not overstate when I state that picture above had a galvanizing effect on the English people and their friends around the world during a very dark and bleak time in history. Through the gloom, through the dust and terror of bombs falling - St Paul's stood - as did England. It still stands firm today, in  its 200th anniversary year.

The architect of that magnificent structure was Christopher Wren. 

Wren received the last contractor's payment in 1711, on Christmas Day.

Years later, he was buried in the cathedral, not in one of the ornate areas, but in a plain grave. On it is inscribed in Latin, this phrase: "If you seek his monument, look around you."

It's fitting for that to be written on Wren's grave, in St. Paul's. For in last Sunday's text, we read much the same sentiment. Just as Wren's grave encourages people to look around them to see what his life was about, Paul suggested anyone who wanted to know about his life's work to look at the people he had ministered to.

2 You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. 3 Christ himself wrote it— not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives— and we publish it. 2 Corinthians 3: 2-3

We who "publish" know in our hearts that we cannot change anyone.

Still, we "architects" rejoice when we see what God has done in people's lives around us, and yes, it hurts when people we've poured our lives into seem to falter or walk away from God's plan. The prayer of every pastor I know is that when our work is done, God will be able to direct us to "look around you" and we will see how what we did mattered.

Going To the Source

From A Glimpse of New Hope!

Most of you know by now that I'm back in school working on getting my Florida teaching credentials. Yes, I'm still a pastor and will remain one, but to help New Hope reach more people with the love of Christ, to be more effective myself as a missionary, and to better provide for my family, I believe God has led me down this road. Email me and I'll tell you more of the story.

Anyway, I enrolled in what I'd call "teacher Ranger school." I'd say "boot camp", but it's way beyond that, squeezing two years of education courses into SIX MONTHS. It's intense. Parts of it have been the hardest work I've done in a class anywhere, including Mercer University, New Orleans Baptist Seminary, and Rockbridge Seminary. Yes, I've been in school a lot. Send money and I'll keep the dream alive. :)

So it's the final term, and I'm struggling with probably the key to teaching - classroom management. When you read that, depending on your age, you think "paddle" or "detention", or some combination. That's not it at all, in fact that's what happens when your classroom management plan fails. A well executed plan has the students prepped, ready, and able to learn with minimal input from the teacher. In my student teaching, at first I had problems but improved dramatically every day (according to my mentor) by using better strategies and setting a better tone for the classroom from the moment the first child showed up.

Still, in this Classroom Management class - I was struggling.

So I'm reading the textbook, which is an awesome guide loved by teachers all over the world. It's written by a man named Harry Wong. He is the guru of classroom management. No one is more respected or listened to. No one.

An idea popped into my head. "Ask Harry."

After checking to make sure no one else was in the room, and it was just my normal voices inside my head, I wrote an email to Harry. I explained who I was, what I was trying to do, and asked his advice.

Even though he was on the other side of the world in China - he answered, and what he said really help me grasp the concepts.

My pastor hat on now, I could make the comparison to what the Source of all knowledge and wisdom told everyone who follows Christ to do.

God will give us wisdom if we ask for it (James 1:5) If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.


So friends, next time you need advice, remember that God wants to help you Himself. Go to the Source.

Mostly

"It's funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools - friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty - and said 'do the best you can with these, they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do. "
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)


Mostly, they do. But sometimes they don't.

Hard weekend.


Tough trip to Macon to see Curtis Clinard, one of the finest Christian men I have ever known. Not a perfect man, there was only one of those and we nailed him to a cross. But a forgiven man, who in response to that great act of God's grace, has tried for nigh onto 84 years to live it out. And yes, he's old now, but he wasn't that old when we saw him last. It's as if age all of a sudden caught up. 


And it broke my beloved's heart and it broke mine. 

He's in the house that was made a home by the presence of his bride, Dot. It's obvious from the moment you enter it now that she's not there. And Curtis can only live with her memory, and that's both comfort and pain. Bunny showed him some pictures of family on her laptop Friday night and he was interested and engaged. But when one of his beloved Dot came on the screen, his eyes instantly filled with tears and this man who had a will of steel for so many years, began to sob. 

We'd give everything we have to make it right for him. We'd take him in down here and honor him for the rest of our lives with whatever he needed because in doing it, we could partially return what he so freely shared with us. 

And he won't leave his memories. So we came home. Shaken.

It was a tough trip.

We left him wanting us to stay longer to come back to the place we left Macon almost twelve years ago for and the church we love and serve. Had a tough night sleep from the emotional toil and physical problems brought on by it. Then got up and went to church to be among friends - to be with family. 

But it was a tough day there too. A lot of the family was missing.

So I'm writing this to close the book on the week that was, and praying that God will lead Bunny and me into the week He has prepared for us. I'm praying it's filled with joy. We could use some joy right about now.


"...most of the time, all you have is the moment, and the imperfect love of the people around you."
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)

There's Something Special About Boys Being Boys

Last night I watched a man teach boys how to open and close a pocket knife, sharpen an axe, tie a boat to a dock, make a rope longer by joining two together, and how to handle a bb gun (any firearm really, but in this case Red Ryders) safely.

I saw boys in serious competition with each other tossing rope quoits, and racing wooden turtles on strings. It was as hotly contested as anything the Mavs and Heat are doing lately. (Even more if you are LeBron in the 4th qtr)

It was horribly politically incorrect and part of EXACTLY what boys need to experience as they grow up to be men. Two men who are spending their lives pouring experiences and love into neighborhood boys around New Hope (Joe Stoy and John Anderson)were in their element last night as the RA (Royal Ambassadors) had a lock-in.

Mixed in with the dangerous boy stuff was even more dangerous (if you are rigidly secular) instruction. Joe Stoy told the boys they were here on earth for a purpose, and that purpose could only be found through a relationship with Jesus Christ. He related how 41 years ago, God showed him that his purpose would be to work with boys and teach them to become men. Joe has lived that out ever since. John has worked with boys for years now too, and has raised a fine one in his son Ian.

Seeing those boys last night as they worked hard to learn, helped each other when one struggled with something - and were 100% BOYS!!!!! made me smile - a LOT!

But seeing Joe and John made me thank God for them, for their hearts for Jesus and for those boys...

and for a place called New Hope where boys can grow up to be boys.

My Next Book To Read

One of the things I have loved about my dive into elementary education has been the rediscovery of children's books. I LOVE THEM! Since it's been a while since Sean was listening to me or Bunny read to him, and since no other munchkins are around us much, I haven't had a chance to read anything other than adult materials. But now that I'm back into the lives of children, I get to read some awesome books. I think "What Are You So Grumpy About?" by Tom Lichtenheld will prove to be one of them

Well, this one may be helpful not just for the child, but for the adult who reads it to them.

And particularly for crabby folks like me. 

The author writes: "Every day can be a good day if you know what you are grumpy about." Know your problem. That seems to be wise counsel. Then the appendix lists "Sure cures for grumpiness." $11.19 sure seems cheaper than anger management therapy. :) Just looking at the illustrations makes me smile. For teachers, there is a pdf available with ideas for using the book in the classroom that got me excited just thinking about the kid's reactions. The author believes that telling a good story with a moral lesson woven in it is the key to reaching kids. 

“… any ‘moral’ in my books is the by-product of an interesting story. My goal is to do books that kids are naturally attracted to, because kids can sniff-out a lecture a mile away and it sends them running. So, I try not to do books that are blatantly message-driven.” 

For children of all ages (including crabby pastors), this book seems like a winner. 

Forgiveness - video I wanted to play this morning

It's hard. Hard to forgive people who hurt you, who hurt your family, your loved ones, your church family. But as Ann Lamott so aptly put it, NOT forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rats to die.

If there is no hope of forgiveness for the worst of sinners, then there is no hope for any of us.

Jesus makes it plain. "I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him."
Luke 17:3-4 (NLT)

From Christ - To Us - To others.

Since we have been forgiven so much, we should be outrageous in our desire to forgive. People should walk away shaking their heads and muttering about how foolish we are to believe that God can change people. Friends, each time we let go of our bitterness and anger in favor of sharing the mercy and grace of  Jesus, we find ourselves a little more like Jesus when all is said and done.

And that's what we live for, to be more like Christ. Isn't it?

Going and Growing

From It's Like Herding Cats

We've been here at New Hope almost 12 years now, and have (I hope) learned a lot about how to live in community. Most of the years have been good ones in terms of seeing the people and the church grow. But the perfect storm hit last year and it really kind of knocked us all for a loop. Military, contractor, and other moves caused us to lose as many people in one year as we had in all the other years combined. Believe me there has been a tremendous amount of soul searching over this unwelcome development.

And yet, I'm beginning to think God is up to something pretty special.

We've been working with other churches to deliver meals on Saturday and then expanded that to do it again ourselves on Wednesday. We've met a lot of people we never would have, and made some inroads. Last Saturday, we showed a free movie with all the movie fixings free too - hot dogs, popcorn, etc. One elderly couple in Valparaiso we deliver to both times walked six tenths of a mile to come. I was outside and saw them - he with his cane, and her with the bright colored flyer in her hand - coming up the street. We welcomed them in with cold bottles of water and made sure they were cared for. Sitting near them was Danielle Chandler and her dad John.

Well we finished the movie and I asked the woman how she liked it. In her limited English she said "We loved it!" We gave them a ride home. As they left the van she said "see you Wednesday."

Monday night I got a call from Bunny just as I dropped Allan off at his house after supper. "Can you meet Danielle Chandler over on Okaloosa? She's trying to deliver some food to the couple who came to the movie and can't find their house."

I did, and walked up to the door with Danielle as she dropped off some Memorial Day burgers. Folks, I've knocked on doors in this neighborhood and people don't greet you like we're greeted now. :)

Seeing Danielle's heart seem to swell as she gave them the food made me smile.

I'll bet God smiled too.

A Memorial Day Reminder

"The soldier, above all other men, is required to practice the greatest act of religious training--sacrifice. In battle, and in the face of danger and death, he discloses those divine attributes which his Maker gave when He created man in His own image. No physical courage and no greater strength can take the place of the divine help which alone can sustain him."

Douglas MacArthur

The Mosaic That Is New Hope

Workers Clean A Mosaic Marking the Oldest Church in Israel

Mosaic has several acceptable definitions, but I like this one:

"A combination of diverse elements forming a more or less coherent whole."

And I'm conflicted about whether I like the "combination of diverse elements" part better than the "more or less coherent whole" phrase. I guess since "more or less" makes me smile, I'll go with that.

There are people whose edges are sharp here at New Hope. Some who don't seem to fit anywhere. Others whose edges have been worn smooth by life's cares. Others who seem okay. But you know what?

We're all broken.

All in need of mending.

And the grace of God is our glue.

I can't think of a single person who isn't in need of grace or who New Hope would turn away. Jesus accepted us into His family, so we're going to love as He first loved us.

I Don't Know What Works, But...

From It's Like Herding Cats

Just by writing that title I've made some of you smile as you enjoy a moment of zen and merriment (can those coexist? - oh well). Lord knows I can remember when I thought I did know. Those were heady days when I thought if I just plugged into this program, or we just advertised this way, the world both believing and unbelieving would stream to our church's doors. Insert Tab "A" into Slot "B" - simple as that.

Well, there were certainly times when something was working, and there are certainly times when nothing seems to work. But cause and effect don't seem to be tied together tightly, if at all. (And yes, I know - never resign on Monday :) )

Yep, don't know WHAT works.

But I know WHO works and is working all the time.

God.

We've been trying to follow God's call to serve the least of these in our area. That took the form for years of giving food, helping with bills, even putting people up for a night or two. Then we felt that God was calling us to do more, so we started helping with "Supper On Saturdays" which is a local food distribution each week. We haven't overwhelmed them with support, but we have had several New Hope folks serve on a regular basis. We've seen things and met people we never would have. Been privileged to pray for needs we'd have never known existed. Then we started doing it by ourselves on Wednesday night.

One of the people we deliver to both on Saturdays and on Wednesday nights called today to share a prayer request. Her cousin was deathly ill, we had been there for her - could we pray?

Yes we can.

Betty is slowed by her age and arthritis, and it takes a while for her to get to her door. So you have to be patient and listen for her feet sliding across the heart pine floors. You can't give up on Betty. She's coming, she's just slow. She likes to talk to whoever delivers her food. She loves those dogs of hers a lot too. You know, I doubt Betty will ever come to New Hope. But I honestly do not think that's why we were placed in her life.

I think it was so Betty would know that God cares enough for her that He would send someone to listen, someone that would hear and understand, someone who would join her in her fears and grief. A few fellow strugglers like us.

That's why she called.

That's why we are here.

To do the work.

Do you know these people?

Bunny asked me yesterday if I had all the devotionals I have written over the years in one file that I could send her. She was thinking about ways we could take what we are doing now - serving the needs of our community by delivering meals - and add to that a bit of a word about following Jesus and an invitation to come and follow Him with our family at New Hope. I thought it was a good idea that we'll try to get done next week. But then she asked me if I had read them lately. I said that no, I hadn't. "You ought to. You wrote differently then. More tenderly."

Ouch.

Take a look at the picture above again. It was May of 2001. We had been at New Hope less than two years. Taken as we were leaving after worship on SUNDAY NIGHT :), we're looking like we just experienced something pretty good. And even though I'm obviously being strangled by that tie and imprisoned by a suit, when I look at the picture, I have to smile.

That guy though, isn't here anymore.

And I'm not sure how I feel about that, frankly.

We've gone through a lot since that picture was taken. Some of it was so wonderful that it was as if God had reached out and tied a bow on it, saying "with love." Some of it was so gut-wrenching that looking back, I am still amazed at how we made it through. But then that too - that safe passage through the storm - could have been wrapped up and tied with a ribbon by the same hand and carry the same saying.

In some ways, things affect me more now than they did back then. I'm just not writing as often. I'm so busy with church, school, work etc. that the time I had for silent reflection has shrunk. And those walks I used to have around the bayou with my beloved friend Henley the Great Dane stopped when we lost him. So...

Do this for me.

Pray.

I'm not a great writer. But I can write and on occasion God uses it. While the guy in that photo isn't coming back, the guy here now, who is far more aware of just how amazing grace is - who treasures every day he wakes up and sees Bunny there beside him - who thinks he actually loves his boys more today than when they were born - who counts being New Hope's pastor as joy - that guy wants to do whatever God can use as long as he has breath. Pray that I would.

Thank you

Small Town Smiles

From It's Like Herding Cats

Bunny and I attended the Lewis School band's Spring concert last Thursday night to see some of our kids perform. All of them did great. We've attended a bunch of these over the years, and I never leave without giving thanks to God for letting us be a part of the lives of these kids and their families. And really, of the "life" of this area.

It's different here in military communities.

Not everyone is military. But so many area that even events as simple and as American as a school band concert give you glimpses of what life is like for those who protect us, and those in their families who give so much behind the scenes. There's no way we can possibly thank them enough.

There was a dad with a camera at the concert. He, his wife and two little girls were sitting on the front row. He was fit and his haircut said he was probably Army or Marines. His wife was also young and seemed happy. Dark hair falling in ringlets and a wide smile made the littlest girl a concert in her own right as God was singing "look what I've given!" The dad was working hard trying to get a picture of his beginning band student. Crouching on the floor so low as he did, I wondered if he had used the same skills earlier in Afghanistan or elsewhere.

The flutes did a special Disney piece that the band director said one of his students came up with. He made a a point of recognizing her, saying that her family was getting ready to move to Kentucky. Immediately I thought "Ft. Campbell?" because several of the Explosive Ordinance guys we have known went there after graduation.

I go to these concerts, or any of the school events really, and come away knowing how blessed I am to be a pastor and to be part of this great experiment in freedom called America. Small town smiles are awesome.

And now, I share videos Bunny took at the concert. Enjoy!

The beginning band


The symphonic band

Monday Matters

Had a kind of tough day yesterday. Since I'm a pastor, you should interpret that to mean that Church didn't go well. Wasn't for lack of effort on the part of any of our leaders. We were here, prepped and ready to go. And I had a sermon I was excited about because I believed it had real potential to help people move closer to God and farther away from their fears. Music went well - we have put more time and effort into that lately than ever (by we I mean Bunny, the band, and the vocalists who practice hard).

But for whatever and a variety of reasons, turn out was low. God sent us some visitors or it would have been even lower. Thanks, Father.

Now I'm going to write something I don't want you to misunderstand. So I'll preface it by saying that I know that the Holy Spirit was here and the size of the crowd didn't affect that. And that since I've been doing this for quite a while now, having preached to crowds of hundreds and in one memorable Sunday evening - to just TWO, numbers are just numbers and I'm going to give it everything I have every time I get the opportunity believing that God will use it and whoever and however many are here deserve everything I have to give. They got it.

Now back to what matters. When you aren't here in church, whether here is New Hope, the Crystal Cathedral, Mosaic LA, FBC whatever and wherever... it hurts the cause of Christ. I am not going legalistic on you. Just stating the fact that your attendance matters a great deal - more than you know. That person you would have been sitting by needed a listening ear and yours wasn't present. Your voice would have made a difference too during the singing. Yes, even your voice. That kid you always speak to never got his weekly dose of encouragement. The little old lady you compliment left without one. You were missed.

When you aren't here, we are less than we ought to be.

Priorities. Priorities.

If you only knew.

Thank A Teacher Month

There were several moments I remember from my educational pursuits. A third grade teacher who read to us, my fourth grade teacher's kindness to an odd little boy with severe allergies, meeting a new friend in Junior High during desegregation, flunking out of college for lack of effort, going back as an adult husband and father and making straight A's. I've already written about Dr. Catherine Futral so I need to testify to the power of a math teacher to dispel fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

Hazel Struby wasn't a full time professor at Mercer University. She was what they called "adjunct faculty", which I'm sure to the administration meant "not a tenured educator", but in my experience then and many times since to me has meant "knows what they are talking about and loves to teach it." Kind of a play on the old "those that can't..." rip on the teaching profession - Hazel Struby (and many others like her I have known) both could DO and could TEACH thank you very much.

She had taught in the public schools, and in a local private school, but now and then taught at Mercer, helping people solve the riddle of Math. Well friends, Math to me was more of a primal fear than a riddle, because in my last encounters with it, both of which happened in my immature youth... Math had whipped my butt. I had become, after a very promising start all through elementary and junior high school, Math's whipping boy. I was that team the Harlem Globetrotters played every week. Looked good on paper - filled with former college stars - but somehow managed to lose every single stinking time. Geometry - F, Trig - F, College Trig - F. I gave up on Math, but here I was in college trying to get a Business degree to help my family prosper and make my wife and my Mother proud.

"I can't do Math" I said.

Hazel heard all that from me and laughed out loud. Not just an "I'm amused" laugh, but an "you are the funniest thing I have ever seen" laugh.

She told me I was looking at Math the wrong way. "Math is a puzzle begging to be solved. It lays clues all over the place, never acts in any way other than the way it always has. Math is like those crooks on the Darwin awards. You can whip it with half your brain tied behind your back - if you are willing to work. I guarantee it."

I was.

I don't remember the tipping point, but somewhere that first term I "got it."

Hazel helped me banish the fear and I never looked back - except like today - in thanks.

Mother's Day Reflection

On July 15th, 1920, on the wrong side of the tracks down on Roff Avenue near "Mr Willingham's Textile Mill", a little girl was born to Henry and Bertie Bowden. Her parents were millworkers who had moved from the farm to the city in search of a better life. Each had lost a spouse to death before they met each other, and the family was a blend of Fosters and Bowdens.

The little girl grew to adulthood in that shotgun house, becoming the first of her family to get a high school diploma. During those years, she saw a sister die in a fire, a brother killed when his car stalled on the railroad tracks that ran parallel to the road. When she was 12, her father was hit by a car and died the next day. Hurt came often to Roff Avenue. The family grew tight - they had to. Somehow the widow "Bertie" raised all their kids and another couple of girls besides. Lodie was the big sister now, and she went to school and worked in the mill too. Whatever it took to help, she did.

She met a young man who lived in the same mill village, and just as World War Two began, they married. He was sent away, and in a year or so, she enlisted herself. They saw each other once during the War, in Manila.

After the war, they had both changed. Everything had.

They divorced, and then love found them again, and they remarried.

One day they got the news she was pregnant with twins. Nine months later they got the news the babies wouldn't survive. Yet when the twins were born, (my older brothers Michael and Mitchell) due to complications from my Mother carrying them too long, they both died within a week of their birth.

Devastated doesn't begin to describe what my parents experienced.

My mother is in heaven now, but while she lived she very seldom ever talked about it. Oh, she might mention "the twins", but briefly, and quickly move on. It was a deep, lasting hurt that never really went away.

So many people never recover from such a wound. Marriages, even whole lives, just wither and die.

But not when you find the will to start over.

My Mother told me she found that will in Jesus Christ. The picture at the beginning of this post shows the back inside cover of a Bible she carried during her service as a WAC during WW2. In it, she identified with Jesus as Lord and Savior. I never knew there was a time when she didn't follow Jesus.

One day we were talking, and I brought up the loss of my brothers. She reached over and opened up her Bible and read me this.

10 Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

She told me she took God at His Word and started over.

I cannot imagine how much courage it took for her to do that. But whatever amount it took, her God supplied it.But a couple who had seen so much pain and held so much heartache, just wouldn't give up hope. One year later, I was born - the young woman was my Mother - Lodie Marie Bowden Wilson.

No other person had more influence on who I became than she did. Not one day in the years we shared on this earth did I not wake up knowing that my Mother loved me deeply.

When you are the recipient of love, like a Mother's love, most of the time you are blind to it. Days come and go, sacrifices are made for you. Some you might realize but poorly comprehend. Others you miss completely. When your children come along, understanding does too, and then when the giver passes away, the gifts are made visible in the loss of the one who gave them.

I cannot give her anything now. All I can do is give to others as I have been given to. When I was reading Philippians the other day, I came across this. Those of you who read it, do as I have done today and think about your life, and what someone years after you are gone will write about it in review. Will it be God-honoring? Will it be praiseworthy? What will be your legacy? Will you have pointed your family to Jesus? Can you write as Paul does here?

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9 NIV

Is your life worthy of being emulated? Are you living the life you'd want everyone to? If not, make the courageous choice and change direction. Follow Jesus.