So Wonder Why Our Teens Have A Twisted View of Sex?

Look at the some of the lyrics from music nominees for Nickelodeon’s 2009 Kids’ Choice Awards:

• Beyonce
  “Now take it off while I watch you perform.” (Suga Mama)
• Chris Brown
  “Let’s get and make love on Venus.” (Gimme Whatcha Got)
• Alicia Keys
  “So maybe we can go to first base because I feel you.” (Teenage Love Affair)
• Jesse McCartney
  “Spend the night with me and I’ll rock you.” (Rock You)
• Katy Perry
  “I kissed a girl just to try it. I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it.” (I Kissed a Girl)
• Pussycat Dolls
  “I can get off when you ain’t around.” (I Don’t Need a Man)
• Rihanna
  “What you got up in them jeans? Put it on me, or get lonely.” (Lemme Get That)

Cause and effect, people. Cause and effect. Nick's audience is 10-14 year old kids.

"He didn't just step outside the box, he set it on fire!"

We had a meeting yesterday for about 30 minutes after church to talk about what to do with our youth. This is a smaller church and try as we might, all the people in it won't conform and neatly distribute themselves so that our Sunday School classes stay balanced.

This year we have a pretty good number moving from middle to high school, and our youth pastor felt that this was the time to try some "radical ideas." We worked through all that, and then they asked me if I had any suggestions.

"Yes, move worship to 9:30, kill Sunday school entirely in favor of small groups, and run a children's worship alongside the adult one and use the youth to lead it."

One shocked attendee said "He didn't just step outside the box, he set it on fire." Everyone laughed. If they only knew. If they only knew.

Tonight I was reading a little concerning the viability of replacing Sunday School and came across an article written by Josh Hunt. I've benefited from Josh's work over the years, so I give his opinion some serious weight. Here's what he wrote about the move to ditch Sunday School for small groups.

Sunday School or Home Groups?

In short, when people speak of the demise of Sunday School and the glory of home groups, what they normally speak of is the negative qualities of BAD Sunday School. And, they sometimes speak of home groups in a rather idealized way. Are there no bad homes groups, led by sleepy leaders?

At the end of the day, home groups don't work. Sunday School doesn't work. Visitation doesn't work. Giving Friday Nights to Jesus doesn't work. What works? People work. People work through home groups and Sunday School and visitation and giving Friday nights to Jesus. Ultimate it is the talent and dedication, not plan or program that is the key variable. (emphasis mine)

Show me a talented and dedicated Sunday School teacher, and I will show you a thriving group. Show me a sleepy, distracted, or ungifted Sunday School teacher, and I will show you a languishing class. The same is true with home groups. It is all about leadership. It is all about people.

I think Josh is right, again. But I also think he's left something out that's vital to helping youth grow in their faith. They need to be involved in service to others within the church. There's far too much information transfer and far too little transformation.

We're working hard to move our church outside the walls, and we need to put some of our teenagers on the front lines. They need to learn about commitment, sacrifice, and living out loud their passion for Jesus.

We'll be working on that.

Take Tab "A" and Insert in slit "B" doesn't seem to work here

Once upon a time it seemed to me that all a Southern Baptist church had to do was to follow the program and things would move along very smoothly. You'd do Sunday School using the Lifeway Curriculum, then head to worship where you'd sing out of the Baptist Hymnal, read your KJV (personal or pew copy) as you followed along with the preacher standing behind a pulpit and wearing a suit.

Then you'd do it all again at 6PM that evening.

On Wednesday night, you'd have Royal Ambassadors for the boys, Girls in Action for the girls, some sort of youth group, and then "prayer meeting" and some sort of Bible study.

And it worked. And it was easy because all you had to do was work the system and the system would produce baptisms and growth. Or so it seemed.

It was like assembling something. Just follow the directions and you'd find success.

Well, not in this context. I do not know one church here who follows that model anymore, except maybe a couple who are on life support.

When the program was proved to be ineffective, there was a gasp, and then a scramble for the next program. Some churches moved quickly to the Willow Creek model, which meant moving away from Bible study and worship by believers to seeker sensitive.

Others couldn't go that far, and found a friend in Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Church model. It was far higher in the commitment level expected of each member, and just sort of felt right, like the next evolution of things.

For a while, churches had success, some of them anyway, with these models.

I think the age of the "Model" is fading fast.

It's being replaced by a couple of things - franchises and cafeteria style.

Franchises are those church plants that are simply extensions of the mothership. Not really stand alone, and many are just video venues where the main church teacher is broadcast to. A church in Texas decided it needed a branch in Miami. Makes sense, after all, the NT says the gospel spread from region to region... or was it house to house?

Then there's the cafeteria. In the absence of a true Model, churches are taking a bit from this mega or denomination, and a bit from that one. You'll see churches that are Purpose Driven but using Andy Stanley's Northpoint children's materials, or Willow Creek's small group stuff.

For the smaller church, things get a bit dicey, because most of what the mega models call for requires size. Resources are always spread thin. If Lifeway would only wake up and realize that smaller churches are under served by any of the current models, and use the collective power of people across the SBC, maybe, just maybe they could enjoy some part of the success they had long ago.

Right now, we are struggling and praying about how to connect our efforts in one area so we can maximize our effectiveness. There's so little out there that's not fluff, or dry, or not too expensive. We have to make hard choices all the time, knowing that we will do the best we can with passion and determination to glorify God.

I just wish there were more options.

Representing... Jesus

Back in the day, I was a Sales Representative for a Fortune 50 company. I had a territory to manage that was filled with outlets for the products of my company, and prospects who were not outlets yet. My mission was to help those who were already selling our products sell more, as well as to help those who weren't selling them now, become outlets.

To do the former meant I had to learn their business goals, values, and how they carried those out, so that the marketing plans I devised were consistent with them, and would aid them in achieving a greater return on their investment.

With those who did not carry our products, I likewise had to meet them and seek to learn what their goals and values were, how they carried those out, and then devise a presentation that would help them see how our products would help them get there.

Existing customers were easier to handle, because of a shared history, common knowledge, and established trust. Prospects had to be convinced of your passion and determination to help them, as well - and this is key - your integrity overall. For if you weren't trustworthy, then nothing you said could be trusted either.

On the first day I went to work for this company, they told me, "You are (company name)." We will train you, support you, encourage you, and work on our end to develop products that are superior in meeting your customer's needs. But we cannot to the work for you that only you can do. We cannot build trust with outsiders and insiders. Only you can do that.

If you follow our guidance, adhere to our standards of conduct, and represent us with integrity, we will always be there for you. But the moment you lose your integrity whether in your personal life or corporate life, you are no longer of use to us and will be terminated as an employee. As long as you work for us, wherever you go, you are (company name) ."

Here's where I'm going with this.

Why do we as Christians think we can choose NOT to represent Jesus at our convenience?

One of the reasons I have heard for taking youth on mission trips is "they will be able to understand what it means to be all out for Jesus there."

There's no distinction between "there" and "here". "Whatever you do, in word or deed, do it for the glory of God" seems to cover everywhere, at every time, in every situation.

We represent Jesus. How are we doing with that?

Tread Softly

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

By W.B. Yeats

This is a follow-up to my post about "the Walmart Effect" and isn't any effort to delve into the underlying causes of small church mega internecine squabbles. Yeah, consumerism is rampant everywhere, in every social setting. True, emerging generations are massively enmeshed in that trap that we boomers built. Got that. And no, I'm not whitewashing every mega. I don't know them and maybe somewhere a mega is doing a better job at being a small church than we are. Unlikely, but I could see it happening, and I'd do everything in my power to make it happen if I was say Bill Hybles.

Oh but wait. They were doing that, going to neighborhoods, and now they are not and Randy Frazee is gone. Back to doing what megas do best I guess. But no. That's not why I'm here typing today. I want to get to the heart of the matter. Why I wrote the first post. And this goes out to New Hope's workers, and every other youth worker who reads this.

What I really wanted to write about was youth worker's hearts.

15 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for Christians everywhere, 16 I have never stopped thanking God for you.
Eph 1:15-16 (NLT)

That's so true for me when I think of you and your families. I know you are serious about your pursuit of Jesus' call on your lives, and passionate about what He has given you to do. That naturally flows into your relationships with everyone, but especially with those God has given you to nurture and to care for.

I want to tell you thanks. Thanks for being there for them. Thanks for putting your heart on the line again and again. Thanks for caring so much that one 13 year old girl's decision that you feel (as do I) is a step away from a walk with Jesus, hurts your heart.

I'm honored to serve alongside you. All of you.

The Walmart Effect and the Smaller Church

I can vaguely remember when we were in a big church during one of our periods of searching for a church home in Macon. Our family was one of hundreds. Our Sunday school class was huge. The church had great facilities - a separate children's building with a check-in like in a hospital. Every service was televised. The church really had a lot to offer, but we never really connected. This was in the 80's, before the world woke up to the mega and before I became a pastor. Back then, that size church was a rarity. Now there are three that size between 5 miles of my smaller church.

Irony. Most of my secular career was spent with huge multinational corporations selling to other huge multinational corporations - including Walmart. I personally called on Eckerd HQ, K-Mart regional, Publix, Brunos, Big Star, and yes, Walmart. My efforts helped them succeed, often at the expense of smaller chains and independents.

Shoe - meet other foot.

Last night, our youth volunteers were rocked by a 13yr old girl's comment that she might not be with us tonight. When asked why, she said her friend had invited her to one of the local mega churches, and that her family might be going there. This is a girl and a family that we have poured love into again and again. Our volunteers have sacrificed for her large portions of time and money to help her find her way. We've reached out to her and her siblings - to her family. They live around the corner from us. We give them rides home when it's raining. We hug them even though once the little one said "I think all the lice are gone."

She's a teenager. Friends are at the top of her values. She'll always have more outside New Hope than inside. And the mega will always offer more of the glamour of today's youth ministry than we will. But the thing about the people we have working with her and all the ones like her is that we love these kids fiercely and want with every fiber of our being to see Jesus formed in them and in their family.

In the old days, people wouldn't invite other people to church if they were already attending one. It was considered in bad taste. If you were already "churched" then that was great, because it was the "unchurched" that everyone wanted to see find salvation and be included in the church. But today, all of that is by the wayside as big churches try to stay big and get bigger. We are within 5 miles of three megachurches. Like Walmart, they grow by putting the competition out of business. And those three actively market to other church's members.

That's not the way God grows His church. So I do think there's a spiritual battle going on here as well.

I think New Hope is a hard place to be if you don't want to be convicted of your sins and shortcomings with God. We care about souls. Not "nickles and noses" (money and numbers) like big churches do, but the state of people's relationship with God. In Sunday school, Pam is about as passionate as anyone I've ever known and challenging too. On Wed night there's a buzz saw of challenges to your commitment if you are her age. And I hope what I do on Sunday adds some to that mix.

You can't fade into the background, you can't float in and out, and you can't pretend at New Hope. But you CAN where you are one of hundreds or thousands. The devil doesn't like that. So he'd love to see her in a place where if she doesn't come for a week - two weeks, no one will notice. Like we do.

So what does the smaller church do?

Well first, we pray. Pray that God is at work in the life of this girl, even if we can't see Him. Pray that He is at work in her family - the one we have prayed for so often, invited so many times, reached out to. Pray that God will guide us to do what He wants us to do in a way that will offer Jesus' way to every youth and adult.

Then we step back and evaluate what we are doing. It may be that no change is needed. But it may also be that the other 100 or so kids in our city that don't go anywhere are the real target and just maybe we need to be about the business of reaching them. We have assets and liabilities based on our size. So do the megas.

Ours are passion, flexibility, community, and missional purpose. We let kids and youth lead in worship. We invite them to participate to the extent they feel led. We can turn on a dime and get 12ct worth of ministry out of it. We are fierce in our love for one another and passionately purposeful about what we do. We don't just fire up the Xboxes and plasma screens and let the kids play and call that youth group. We're about spiritual transformation. I absolutely believe that's God's plan.

So we'll do what we can do best and let the Good Shepherd place His sheep.

Then we pray and go back to work.

But yeah, I can completely understand why people picket Walmart - today. When our youth people - who put themselves on the line for the youth - hurt - you better believe I do too.