It's Like Herding Cats

Not A Good Day

2012-01-23T21:37:00.001-06:00

"Some days are diamonds, and some days are stones..."

Double heaping serving of the latter please, with sprinkles of bitter disappointment.

Very tough day at school as the kids were extremely hard to keep focused and on task. They seemed to pull out all the tricks - well some of them did anyway. I got them to the end of the day but was exhausted, disappointed in myself, and still had tutoring to do.

Highlights:
"word expanding" exercise - they rocked it. They came up with words that weren't even in the list I had.
Having one boy who doesn't work much if I'm not on him - work all day.
Hearing a child care about another that doesn't get along with them. Ray of hope?

Lowlights:
9 minutes into the day one girl starts running it with another. 9 minutes in. The girl pulled every dramatic trick in her bag today. Amazing.
Having to prod, push, cajole, and move the kids to do the work all day long.
Realizing that I must not have explained well enough or produced compelling enough lessons because they can't all be "off" that much in one day.

Came home and dumped a load of all that on someone I love who is still hurting from her loss, yet still giving everything she has to her students, to New Hope, and to me, and thereby making her day worse. Then tried to get a head start on tomorrow at school and do some soul work - prayer and Bible study. Got convicted of just how awful a sinner I was today. Sigh...

I thank God for grace and forgiveness because I'm needing both tonight.

Thankful His mercies are new every morning and calling this day over and done.

Pray for me, that I would live my faith out better tomorrow than I did today.

Simply True

2011-12-24T17:06:00.001-06:00

Christmas Eve at the Wilson's and the simplicity of the coming of the Prince of Peace is what's on my mind. At New Hope, we don't put on a lavish production on Christmas Eve, it's a few carols, communion, and candlelight. But that, though simple, doesn't begin to capture that first night.

A feed trough. The stink of animals. The wonder of childbirth comes to a virgin and her betrothed.

And God draws near.

6 And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. 7 She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

The Shepherds and Angels

8 That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. 9 Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, 10 but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. 11 The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! 12 And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in highest heaven,

and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

15 When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. 17 After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. 18 All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, 19 but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. 20 The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them. Luke 2

Break

2011-12-17T15:27:00.001-06:00

The late Vance Havner said "If you do not come apart, you will come apart." I guess that's why teachers get a break at Christmas. I sure need it. Not only have I pushed myself harder than ever, but I've got work to do to improve my skills. Teaching today is far different than most of us remember. The kids are different, the tools are different, and the accountability is far different. I came face to face with the possibility of failure Friday, and I do not want to feel that way again.

So I'll be taking some time off from the classroom, but I will also be reaching out to tap some very skilled and accomplished teachers, reading some books on classroom management, and practicing the discipline of organization in a way I never have before. New Hope needs me to do this. My family needs me to do this. My kids need me to do this. And I need to do this.

Would I have done this if New Hope didn't need me to do it? No. Pastoring a church is a full time job. But this is where God has us and this is what I need to do to live out my calling. Teaching is a calling as well and I'm struggling right now to do it in a way that meets the principal's expectations.

Teacher friends who read this blog, touch base with me. I really can use your help in getting where I need to be as soon as I can.

On Advent's Joy

2011-12-11T09:47:00.001-06:00

Thinking about it this week, joy is what's missing from Christmas for so many. We get so caught up in forcing happiness into what is really a sustained riot of consumer madness that we never really stop and reflect on just what Christmas does. It changes lives as the Incarnation is lived out through Christ's people. As we live with the knowledge that God truly is with us, we touch others with Christ's love.

I was walking by the communion table this morning and stopped to put it back into place. On Wednesday nights our girl's ministry "Child to Child" meets in the sanctuary so they use the stage. I was making sure the Advent wreath was placed correctly and saw the cross and crown of thorns over by the prayer bench. So I replaced it to the center of the table behind the wreath.

As I did, it struck me how many people were at the communion table with me this morning. Their gifts were all around me and would continue to give to the people at New Hope this Christmas as they had for years.

The cross was handcrafted by my father-in-love Curtis Clinard, whose talents are not only in shaping wood, but in shaping lives through his example as a follower of Jesus. The crown of thorns was given to me by my dear friend Reggie Gable. Reggie is one of the most faithful men I know and an inspiration in the way he lives out his calling. The covering of the table was made with love by Pam Roberts, who poured her life and her talents into New Hope for many years. And the table itself was here when I came 12 years ago, so that means people like Glenda Marcus, Larry and Brenda Powell, Larry and JoAnn Smith, and others who have moved are still giving to this day. Oh and the kneeling bench I retrieved the cross from? Handcrafted by Pam's husband J.C. I can look around everywhere and see the gifts they have given. I thank God for those gifts.

Advent reminds me - count it all joy.

Joy that we've been able to lead people to know Jesus as Savior.
Joy that we've seen lives changed and Christians sent out to serve in love.
Joy that we've had a chance to serve alongside some amazing people, even if only for a season sometimes.
Joy that God continues to speak so clearly even through the simple furnishings of this, His church.
Joy to be honored with the calling to care for this church and its people.
I count it all joy.

I realize now more than ever that today is the day we inhabit, and today is the day we need to rejoice.

So from a quiet New Hope sanctuary, I pray you receive all the Joy of Christmas.

Come see us.

Comfort Ye My People

2011-12-06T16:33:00.001-06:00

I've been sitting here this rare afternoon in my office at church and reading the Scriptures and listening to Handel's Messiah. Oh. My God!

Today was a training day for me, so I wasn't teaching and got to do what I have done literally a thousand times before - sit in my office here at church and meet with God. It's true you know, you don't know what you have until it's gone. For me now, an uninterrupted block of time that I am not working on something for school or scrambling to squeeze the meaning and purpose out of a text to teach or preach is so incredibly precious that I found myself in tears several times.

Harboring no doubts about what I've chosen to do to not just continue to serve New Hope but to see her grow in every way, still... I needed today. This past Sunday I preached my heart out through Isaiah 40. That message was built during the week prior a little here and a little there - the same way I did for years as a bivocational pastor. I was excited to be able to bring it to the congregation, gave it everything I had and begged God for everything He would give. It seemed to resonate with people and I hope the Spirit spoke healing and direction into people's lives. I thank God for the gifts He's given and pray every day to be able to be found faithful in whatever He asks me to do.

But oh I needed today.

I'm what they call a contemplative.

My life now is so frantic that I don't get a chance to do that as much. So today, in my office, with no agenda save one - listen - I did. And it moved me so.

So before I plunge back into the flood of papers to grade, lessons to plan, and kids to think about, I'm going to listen to the incomparable Matthew Ward one more time and remember just how good my God is to me.

Shout!

2011-12-03T18:17:00.001-06:00

Advent. It's a season that can get you to examine things you've been covering over and pretending not to notice. I've been trying to follow the readings for each day even during the busyness of teaching and pastoral work. Advent is preparation.

Behind the pulpit, and in the classroom, a lack of preparation will cause you to quickly experience fear. And that fear robs you of the effectiveness you need to speak and explain. It almost paralyzes me. The feeling is of being tied to the train tracks and seeing the light of an approaching locomotive. I just cannot preach or teach off the cuff. I have to prepare. Advent is preparation.

Sure, in the back of everyone's mind this time of year Charlie Brown and Linus are on a darkened stage. People know the story of Christmas well. But they don't necessarily know why Christmas matters or why Advent matters. Advent is preparation.

In my new dual role as pastor/teacher, I'm learning more about how the world is working and my research is returning a clear finding of "not good." "A new generation arose knowing not Joseph" wrote the scribes. Well, new generations have risen believing that the world revolves around them and that there's noting more to life than what they can see or hold in their hands. Working with kids every day, each of whom are precious in God's sight and dear to my heart, I can see the effects of society's message. And one day Jesus will return and set everything right. Advent is preparation.

"A voice said 'Shout!'"

"Shout that people are like the grass.
Their beauty fades as quickly
as the flowers in a field."

Advent is preparation for life here, and life eternal with Jesus. It's acknowledging that some things God has done are simple yet complex, warm and fuzzy, but incredibly costly, and the effects that we can see may be only a fraction of what God has done. A baby was born. No big deal, right? Babies get born every day. But this one changed everything.

One day people will wake up. Maybe it'll be a week day. Or maybe the weekend will see Him come. But one day Jesus will come, not as a babe in Bethlehem, but as the leader of Heaven's Armies - as King.

Advent is preparation for that day when the Shepherd of Israel returns. To His enemies His wrath will come. To His beloved... "He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with her young." I LOVE that picture.

But while we wait...

"And so dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in His sight."

Make every effort.

Advent is preparation.

Take time this weekend to worship Him and study His Word.

Learning

2011-11-16T23:14:00.001-06:00

“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”
― Dr. Seuss

We are one month into the great adventure of teaching 18 third AND fourth graders at Eglin Elementary School located on the base. It has been intense. I have put a lot into getting a handle on all the myriad of little things I need to know and DO in order to not just teach but motivate my kids to learn. There are days - like today - where I get up early and work late in order to make darn sure that I am as prepared as anyone teaching tomorrow. There are some things that would make my work easier - a projector, document camera, and a Mimio would change my instruction and make it far more engaging. But here I am.

On days like today I leave school and go directly to church to help with the supper. We are now sending out 70+ meals every Wednesday evening all over Valparaiso. When Pam Roberts came to me with the idea I was concerned that we wouldn't be able to do 30. And yet here we are. Not only that, but we are feeding five families for Thanksgiving and helping with their Christmas. Once supper is loaded and gone, then I go help with music. That used to mean playing guitar but now it's serving as another pair of ears to get the sound right and occasionally filling in for the media guru, Michael Weech. Once that is over I head over to lead prayer meeting and teach.

So yeah, Wednesday is a long day - and it gets extended now so I can get ready for school tomorrow.

It's a balancing act and once I get established in the teaching side of things, I hope to be able to spend more time on the pastoral side again. I've rediscovered the tricks I used to use when I was just starting out as a pastor to get the preparation done when time is available, whether it's planned or not.And I'm praying. praying for me to learn and grow deeper as a Christian and more able as a teacher. I'm praying - for every child every day and for their families, just as I pray for the members of the congregation.

Hardest thing I have ever done. I remember times when I was growing up that my Mother would have me doing something I felt was too much work. She'd tell me that she knew it was a lot of work, but it would make me a better person and she was doing it because she loved me.

God must love me a whole lot. :)

Why I Love America

2011-11-11T11:05:00.001-06:00

Our school (Eglin Elementary, on Eglin AFB) had a wonderful Veteran's Day walk Tuesday. The whole school went over to the All Wars Memorial on base, and when the buses parked, the kids and their parents (many of whom were in uniform) walked together to the memorial. The program was great. In preparation that morning, I had the kids writing about "Why I Love America". They worked for a while, and as I walked around and looked at their work, most centered on what they owned - X-Box 360, or what they could do "play video games, eat McDonald's" etc. A few said "freedom."

But not nearly enough.

So I got them all together and explained that when I was in elementary school, I was asked to recite something in a veteran's day program.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

I then launched into an explanation of just why out of everything I knew or experienced of America in my life what I learned when I was about their age had stuck with me. I wanted to share it today with you. This isn't the way I explained it to 3rd and 4th graders, but my readership doesn't hold a high percentage of that demographic. :) So for you, gentle reader, here's why I love America.

We - that was huge, because until those words were penned, there was no "We", only a collection of states born from different motives and filled with people determined to live their individual lives for their own reasons. "We" was the binding principle that said to the world "We may all be individuals, but when it comes to knowing, believing, and defending at the cost of our lives if necessary - "We" are one.

Hold these truths - In the era we live in, people feel free to live their own truth. They pick it from here or there and preach toleration of whatever anyone chooses to believe. At the birth of our country, out of all the "truths" that were out there, our forefathers decided to proclaim to the world that this nation would live out a creed higher in purpose than just making a living.

That all men are created equal - I know, I know - maybe the first thing you think of is how that lofty goal took many years and the shedding of thousands of lives in a civil war to approach. And maybe you think we still aren't there. But for a nation whose inhabitants came from the rigid caste system of Europe to write this into their founding document sent to the world as why they were forming a new country - it was explosive. It marked out one corner of the world where freedom was real - or would be.

That they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights - "lex rex" - the King is the law- meant that a man's rights were whatever the King said they were, or whatever the government said they were. This phrase places man's rights beyond reach of King, parliament or Congress, grounding them in God. Again, the mere idea is so far beyond anything that had ever come before in Europe, when the common man read this he knew there was one place in the world where a king's or nobleman's whims held no power over them.

"...that among those are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." - We frequently focus on the three mentioned, but should also notice the founders knew enough to know there were more than just those three. "Among those" means that while America wanted to let the world know that those three - "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" were at the core of what America aspired to be, there were things already acknowledged and truths accepted across cultures that would be part of America's genus as well. If we guarantee that rights are "inalienable" because they are given by God, we do not have to name them all.

The uniqueness of these phrases, regardless of the imperfectness of how we lived it out is why I love America. And I learned that in elementary school.

If we aren't inspiring kids today to remember what makes America great, the loss will be... everything.

Week Two

2011-10-29T18:20:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows the opening line... "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times." Maybe the reason it sticks in our memories is that it happens oh so often - the highest of highs placed cheek and jowl next to the worst. "Flying high in April, and shot down in May" opines one famous song after beginning with "That's life. That's what people say."

Well this guy can bring some fresh evidence to those thoughts.

Just finished my second week of full time teaching a combined class of 3rd and 4th graders and Charles Dickens has got nothing on me. There were times these past two weeks that it seemed as if we were going to race to the top together. And there were other times I wondered how it was going to work. As a teacher, I have to remind myself that these are kids who are wholly and dearly loved by God and made in His image. When I relate to them, I am in a sense that "pencil in the hand of God" that Mother Teresa so famously wrote about and emulated with her life. What I do matters. It matters more than a grade on a paper or an inscription in that infamous "permanent record." So whether the child is "full of grace" or "full of woe", they deserve everything I have to give.

The week began with a teacher workday and a holiday for the kids. That coupled with a half-day workshop I had to attend on Tuesday morning did not help us launch well. Tuesday afternoon was then turned into a review, and we didn't really get moving until Wednesday. But by Friday, we were right where we should have been, and I think they left excited about what next week would be bringing. We started a class-wide project on the earliest Floridians that had them racing to research. :) Awesome to see. I set up a special search page for them to use and they found so much information they wanted to print out and read later I realized I needed two printers to keep up. Here's the link for the page: http://searchteam.com/search_1_2621_6543_Early_Florida

I'm hoping to gradually increase their use of technology for learning gains, and this is only the beginning. Each child will produce an "e-book" using Power Point as their work product. Hopefully they will be content and image rich and really help them learn about part of Florida's History that at least in my research is incredibly interesting.

My mentor teacher Mrs. Hudson and our principal Dr Combs both gave me the gift of their time this week as they worked to help me become the teacher I want to be. The cohort of teachers at Eglin is so supportive of each other that I truly feel blessed to be placed here. I'm learning every single day.

I want these kids to look back and say "Mr. Wilson believed in me." But more than that, I want them to believe in themselves.

So goodbye week two. Let's roll.

Sunday Morning - Touched By Love

2011-10-23T08:12:00.000-05:00

Touched By Love

After the blur of my first week as a full-time teacher, I enjoyed Saturday immensely. Who knew that sleeping until seven was plenty of rest? When you get up at 5:30 every week day, 7 seems like eating ice cream for breakfast - a real treat. We had a good day yesterday on our own terms. Picked up some items we received through Freecycle - I got a TUB of crayons, some construction paper, colored pencils - all for school - and a pressure washer I think just needs a little work. Then I cleaned up some in the garage, checked the car's fluids, and really just enjoyed letting the day come to me without a schedule.

Now it's Sunday morning.

And for me, the excitement is building.

There won't be a laser light show this morning, or headline entertainers. No fried gator on a stick or funnel cakes. There won't be a crowd of people either. New Hope's size right now is more like an extended family, and our gathering reflects that. But for me, there's something very special about being there - together with God. I prayed last night through the mental list of people who make up the New Hope family, asking God to bless them and to draw them into the fellowship this morning as we worship. I truly believe worship - community - the fellowship of the saints - matters - and the act of choosing to come works as a spiritual discipline done in obedience to God. It's not about numbers, it's about hearts and what God will do as we live in obedience to Him.

So when Sunday comes, I get excited to see what God will do among us that will translate later into what He does THROUGH us as we live our lives among the people He wants us to love, care for, and introduce to Jesus.

Today the message explores what happens when someone with the most disgusting condition is touched by Jesus. I cannot get the old Southern Gospel song "He Touched Me" out of my head. To know that Jesus will let no condition - no sin - keep His love from finding us - yeah, that makes me want to hurry to church so I can tell everyone what Jesus has done, and will do.

THEY are the 1%

2011-10-20T20:23:00.000-05:00

Tuesday evening, I spent a couple hours of my life meeting and greeting with some of the forgotten 1% of America. It was open house at Eglin Elementary. They came in smiling, couple after young couple with their children around them. They represented all kinds of ethnic backgrounds, all sorts of levels of education, and all ranks.

They are the 1%.

They are America's military families.

Eglin Elementary sits on the largest Air Force base in the United States. Most of the children that come there are dependents of military families. Due to Eglin's multi-service nature, we see children whose parents serve in every branch of service. Monday night, I met two families who serve in the 7th Special Forces group. They had just moved down from Ft Bragg NC recently. They were a bit concerned about whether their children would catch up, since we start school much earlier here. One of the things most of America forgets about when they think about the military - if they think about them at all - is the effects on the families the last ten years of war and the deployments have had on the children. Simple things like whether a child is going to be okay in school don't need to be a worry for someone who is putting his/her life on the line. But it can be.

I met a young Marine family in which the dad was working hard to finish Explosive Ordinance School. Surrounded by four children and his wife, he was saying how happy his kids were at school. All the while I was thinking how proud I was to serve as their teacher. Then I met a Navy Chief who was also part of the EOD community. She was a very articulate Mom who stressed that she wanted to see her child succeed. "Just let me know if there's anyway I can help." I couldn't help but think that many of the people in the room had done more than I would ever know to help me already.

In encounter after encounter, I met people who were proud parents wanting the best for their children and eager and willing to assist me in every way they could.

In this tumultuous time, where pundits and politics are cutting America up into percentages, I want to add this. Less than 1% of Americans are serving in the military today.

And we, the 99% have no idea what that 1% gives up to do so.

I was blessed to see those parents Tuesday night. But all America is blessed by them and their compatriots.

THEY are the 1%.

First Day Herding Cats

2011-10-18T00:18:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a long day and I'm about to head to bed, but I wanted to journal some of what I experienced today.
- Never underestimate the power of chaos. I had 8 third graders and when we got to math, they were in three different chapters. Oh and the new student wasn't in any.
- You really do have to tell them not to do pretty much anything. Had a child toss a pencil to another and it hot the target on the bridge of the nose. Thankfully it hit flat. But the children got to see Mr. Wilson in lockdown mode. Scared me. No harm done but one little boy won't ever throw anything again.
- Kids will cheat for candy reward. Big time. I usually put something up to challenge them at the beginning of the week. Today it was to tell me what a group of crows is called. Odd word. They are called a "murder" of crows. They were stumped. Went to recess and came back with a revelation. Guess a crow must have told them OR they asked another teacher. Hmm.... I will stump them tomorrow. :)

It was a long day but it was okay for the first day with a group of students pulled from every class. They were generally well behaved and worked pretty well together. The flow between working with one class or the other was actually better than I thought it would be.

Mr. Wilson will be more ready tomorrow than he was today. And he'll do the same Wed. And the next day.

Blessings to you - David

Herding Cats Times 2

2011-10-16T08:18:00.001-05:00

It was the first day of the week and the start of the next to last week I would have a teaching job.

It was Monday.

Beginning with a walk around Valparaiso's Bayous, I was moving along pretty fast, maybe subconsciously trying to stay ahead of the calendar. Talking with district personnel wasn't getting me anywhere. Tweaking my resume wasn't getting anywhere.

Thinking about it wasn't getting me anywhere.

So as I walked, I prayed that God would provide - and I was thinking as soon as possible would be nice.

That afternoon, I got an email offering me an interview at Eglin Elementary.

Tuesday I interviewed.

Wednesday I got hired and started my new job as an elementary school teacher.

So now I am a full time pastor - no change in that except the location I work in. I'll still be serving God through New Hope but I'll also be a missionary they support on the mission field as a full time school teacher. And the salary I earn doing that will help New Hope turn more resources to other mission work here in Valparaiso and around the world. Win. Win.

Today, I have the honor of teaching Middle Schoolers in Sunday School, then sharing with the congregation. Tomorrow I will have the honor of being God's instrument to care for 19 Third and Fourth graders. I believe that His hand will be upon me and His Spirit will enable me in both roles. He has placed me where He wants me, and my job is to serve Him there. Doubly blessed, I'll probably be doubly worn out at the end of the week. But in both jobs I know I can call on Him. But I'm also calling on you.

Your prayers would mean a lot to me.

Sunday is here and Monday's coming.

Please pray.

Handle with care

2011-10-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

It was a "sixth sense" moment.

We were working through some tougher work yesterday. Math isn't easy for some of the kids, but as a former math-o-phobic person myself, I do everything I can to keep the fear away. Passing out the previous days work, which I had graded, I was working the problems on the board and trying to reinforce what they had learned and correct what they didn't get. I try to keep a connection with them while I do that, calling them into solving the problem with me.

Some students relish this, and some try to hide.

I had turned back to the board but all of a sudden it felt like something was wrong.

In the corner, our newest student, was crying. Huge tears rolled down his face. I didn't know it at the time, but he had not done well on the homework. And without a word, he was suffering. There are kids who don't try and cry at the consequences. This wasn't that. This was failure.

It was PE time, and the class got up to head out. I stopped him before he got out the door and we talked about it. He told me he just couldn't get it. I told him that I believed he could and we'd get it together. We took a minute and looked at one problem together with me showing him how. Slowly the light bulb came on as did his smile. I told him we'd keep after it and I'd check in with him every morning before we started to go over the homework just to make sure he was on track.

I sent him out to PE and half way down the ramp he turned around and said "Thanks Mr Wilson!" And he and his smile joined his friends on the playground.

You know, it's not just kids that are fragile.

Everybody hurts.

We're put here to help each other along the way.

19 We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. 1 John 4:19 (MSG)
The next time you get that "sixth sense" about someone - turn around and look to see if God isn't wanting to use you to help Him care for someone else.

It's Jesus, always Jesus

2011-10-02T14:14:00.000-05:00

It was never about the church for me.

In fact, there was a lot about the church that served to push me away.

When my Mother took me and my brother to church as a child, I was at church, but the flannel-graphs didn't hold my attention. And compared to roaming the woods near our trailer home - please.

True, when I came to church to play basketball and met Bunny, I joined Bethesda Baptist Church and was baptized a believer in Jesus Christ. I've been a member of a local church ever since. Had some great times seeing God at work, and met some unforgettable people.

After all these years of working in the church, I still look back and know that for me...

It was Jesus.

Do I love the church I serve? Ask anyone who knows me or New Hope - even my (our) enemies.

I've given 12 years, forsaking all others, in good times and bad. I love her. Desperately.

But it's because of Jesus.

It's His story that drew me.

It's His love that provides the reason, the purpose and the power for me to go on.

Some people immerse themselves in prophecy. Others can't get enough of the Law.

For me, it's the gospels. Always the gospels.

I keep reading and rereading in amazement and wonder as Jesus rewrote what it means to live.

If I can just be a fraction of what He was...

I'll die satisfied.

Today I opened the Gospel of Mark to the folks at New Hope. I presented it as the gospel of second chances. Lord knows I've been blessed with a few.

I can't wait for next week. Can't get enough of Jesus.

Upon Further Review

2011-10-01T14:33:00.003-05:00

The weeks have flown by at Mary Esther Elementary.

I've learned an awful lot about teaching that textbooks will never deliver. Constant improvement is my goal. I have training across multiple disciplines and communication is something I've used daily for years. As a first year teacher, I need to use whatever I can. One of the skills I've transferred from my primary vocation is reflection. As a pastor, you are constantly delivering and evaluating, delivering and evaluating. And you pray, oh how you pray, that God would take your efforts and make them more than you ever could.

Funny thing.

I've been doing that every morning at Mary Esther Elementary.

As a pastor, I've always prayed for people in my congregation individually. The regular practice of intercessory prayer helps me remember to work out of God's love. As a teacher, I want to do the same. So as part of the preparation to teach - along with lesson plans, text and practice books, assessment plans, technology and hands on work - I pray.

There's no way I can share everything I have heard from those little voices during the last few weeks. But I will tell you that they reflect every hurt their families suffer, every lack they feel. Children don't have filters. They may cheat on a test but then turn around and be brutally honest about how it felt when the chaplain came to the door and told Mom daddy had been shot in the shoulder. Or how it feels that daddy is in jail. Or that life with a step-dad is better because daddy drinks and hides his beer under the bed. I can look at their clothes and see the needs, or notice that one who brings his books in a Food World bag instead of a backpack and took three weeks to get some of the school supplies he needed.

They will send you to heights of joy and break your heart. Kids do that. These kids do that.

So I go in every morning wearing a badge that identifies me as a certified substitute teacher who's going to give them every chance to succeed. And I leave every day drained of everything save my faith that God will take whatever I did that day and help the kids I've grown to love.

No collar. No suit. No Bible. Mr.Wilson is all the title I need.

Just Jesus' love identifies me.

Looking back over the last 6 weeks, that'll do.

Tests, and Tests

2011-09-23T22:31:00.003-05:00

Friday is test day in most elementary schools. We work very hard all week, taking mini-assessments along the way but for whatever reason Friday winds up as the day. Spelling test. Reading test. Math test. It usually winds up being a fairly quiet day. Today the kids were looking forward after the tests were done to day two of our paper airplane experiment, and the first opportunity to cash in their good behavior "chips" at the "Treasure Chest."

Everything went smoothly with the exception of a Florida downpour during PE that had the coaches herding the cats inside quickly and then 5 minutes later it was sunny.

Everything that is... until the principal came into the classroom and told me that a teacher's husband had stepped on an IED and had lost multiple limbs to amputation.

We're a school filled with military kids. Everybody knows someone who is serving our country.

And this is the husband of a teacher.

Pray with me for this young family.

There are tests, and there are tests.

One Sno-Cone At A Time

2011-09-20T17:10:00.000-05:00

Saturday, I wasn't able to be at Lewis School's Relay for Life race. I've been there every year since we started doing it. John, Amy, and Ian Anderson weren't able to be there either.

So of course other New Hope folks showed up and rocked the event, giving away hundreds of free sno-cones.

And you wonder why I love these people and this place so much.

They LIVE IT OUT.

"I don't get it."

2011-09-18T08:19:00.001-05:00

That phrase haunts me at times.

There are many other times though that people don't speak up and say something like that - choosing to walk away unable to comprehend and apply what they've been taught - and that's scarier.

At school, we have a highly structured routine of "assessments" to help the teacher discover where their students are and how they are progressing. There are "diagnostic" assessments for initial understanding of what they know. There are assessments along the way called "formative" to see what they are learning. Then there are "summative" assessments that see what they have learned. As a teacher, it's thrilling to see them progress to "mastery" of a block of knowledge. The flip side of that?

Heartbreak when they don't.

Life doesn't provide us the luxury of such a structured understanding of what we know, what we are learning, and what we have mastered. We can be thrown into circumstances that test our faith that we have never imagined would occur. We can be asked to make a decision that is life-altering without any real expertise in that area. And we can, and will experience failure and heartbreak - some of us many times over the course of a lifetime.

Life is a test.

And yet, we have the key.

Jesus.

Jesus.

Jesus.

I'm ready to talk about the feeding of the 5,000 today. The famous passages in the Bible, the flannel-board picture we all have in our heads - the little boy and his lunch - everything that story is for most of us is already part of our understanding.

And yet, the disciples and the religious people didn't "get it."

It was God peeking into their souls and dropping a test onto their desks to see what they ACTUALLY believed. Not just knew - believed to the point of living it out.

Is God good? Can He be trusted? Can I rely on Him for my life's direction, purpose, and provision?

I've given tests in the month I've taught third grade that very few passed. Well in this case out of maybe 25,000 people...

Only one did.

I'll bet he'd be about third grade age.

"Sure, take my lunch. Something about you tells me you'll know what to do with it. I'll just sit over here and watch."

and then...

"I love fish sandwiches!"

Friends, God can't use what you have for His glory and purpose in this world until you open your hands and release it back to him.

Life is a test. How are you doing?

Is This Going To Be On the Test?

2011-09-15T23:36:00.003-05:00

The day of reckoning is approaching for my 16 third graders as I was shown how to input their grades into the online system earlier today.Oh I've sent home a blizzard of their work, but somehow it always seems to fade away before the understanding comes. If I can get them all in tonight, parents will actually be able to see not just the individual papers, but what they MEAN in the big scheme of things. All those times when homework wasn't done, or class assignments went unfinished will now carry weight. Well, some weight - we can only mark normal "seat" work and homework as 10% of the total grade.

I expect some wailing and gnashing of teeth.

The funny thing is my first thought wasn't of any individual child, but of the apostles.

That's when I realize I'm still thinking as a pastor at heart. :)

But if you remember, there were several times in the gospels that Jesus' teaching drove the disciples to ask questions with the same sort of cluelessness. Here's a couple.

21 At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" 22 Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.
Matt 18:21-22 (MSG)

31 In the meantime, the disciples pressed him, "Rabbi, eat. Aren't you going to eat?" 32 He told them, "I have food to eat you know nothing about." 33 The disciples were puzzled. "Who could have brought him food?"
John 4:31-33 (MSG)

I had to laugh out loud when I thought about just how not only the disciples, or the third graders, but so many of us don't really want to KNOW. We just want enough to pass - to get by.

There's more. So much more. If we'll only reach for it.

Sundays Are the Hardest

2011-09-11T22:18:00.001-05:00

Our friend Allan.

For the last three weeks, I've been a bivocational pastor. Full time third grade teacher (long term substitute) and full time pastor to the people and church I love. This bifurcated role has been necessary to help New Hope during a lean season. It's been a tough year from the beginning. We've been hit with a lot including some long time friends departure. But God has miraculously (and I do not throw that word around lightly) provided for our needs and even provisioned us to do more ministry this year than last despite it all. Hopefully once I get paid regularly for substitute teaching I can relieve some of the intense pressure New Hope is under every week.

We are truly living and serving by faith.

I love both jobs and definitely feel that God is using me to change the lives of 16 third graders. And there's no question that His call is still real in my life to be a pastor. I get excited every Saturday night thinking about seeing what God is going to do at New Hope the next day. Today was a good day - great worship, sermon went well, and we had several visitors who seemed to enjoy being with us.

But now it's Sunday evening and instead of thinking through what happened and what we'll be doing next week at New Hope, I have to turn toward school and prepare for the Monday morning rush.

Where I used to have an "off" day and Saturday each week to renew, now Saturday is the day I cram everything in. Two jobs that require dedication, focus, and passion that each are more that 40 hours a week mean long days and short nights.

But it's where God has placed me for this season.

Here's how I have to approach it.

First - I have to make sure I do the work to prepare my heart. Each morning when I walk, I pray. Since I don't have the flexibility I once enjoyed as a pastor, I maximize what time I do have.
Second - I use every means I have to learn. I found that 91.7 has Moody Conference Echoes every morning and so I listen to it. During lunch most days I spend a few minutes reading through my devotional regime.
Third - I accept this as God's will for my life right now and give everything I can give to both jobs. That means getting better at delegating and in training leaders so that New Hope can continue to serve and grow.

But there's no time to enjoy what God did today. Tomorrow is calling.

So yeah, Sundays are the hardest.

It's Not Supposed To Be This Way

2011-09-10T20:44:00.000-05:00

9-11-11

Ten years have passed, but the tears and heartache linger. TV is full of the images both past and present. The radio airwaves carry the same tale of grief and woe. Friday I listened to a woman talk about the plans she and her husband had on the day before 9-11. "It wasn't supposed to be this way," she said, "we had plans for our life together."

So much changed that September day. So many lives were shaken to their very foundations. So much so that people are still trying to find their way through it, ten years later.

Why did this have to happen? Why didn't someone know? Why couldn't someone have stopped it? Why didn't my loved one come home? It wasn't supposed to be this way.

The plans for 9-11 began far before anyone named Bin Laden was born. The chain of events started long ago, in a garden called Eden, when man and woman made their choice. It didn't take long for that choice to cost more than a father could bear. Cain killed his brother Abel because he was angry - because he could. Abel's blood cried out to God from the ground. Adam and Eve cried out, "Why?"

My heart, like millions of Americans, is filled with emotions this weekend. Watching the images again brings the horror closer than I want it to be. And remembering the first anniversary, when they read the names -

Oh...My... God

They read, one after the other, name after name. I couldn't help but think how hard this must be for them. Just to be there. Just to be among so many people hurting, grieving, remembering. To be on a podium in front of the world, to concentrate on getting the names right must be a terrible task.

At the end of the group being read, a young woman stiffens visibly, and it's as if you can see a chill run through her frame as she wills herself to say.... "and my Father...." .

Oh... it hurts Lord. It hurts.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

But it is.

And it has been for a long long time.

My only source of solace, and my only sure sense of strength comes in knowing that God hates it too. That it was Him whose heart cried out to Cain, "What have you done? Listen--your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground!"

God hears. When those He lovingly created destroy each other, He hears. Not in a second-hand whisper, or within an echo of pain. Grief shouts to Him, cries out to him. And He hears.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. But it is.

And so...

As we remember by reading the names of our loved ones, God adds one more...

"and My Son Jesus."

For He is a victim of our sins. Yet in His love, God willingly paid that price. He gave us Jesus. The Truth. The Life. And the Way.

John 3:16 (The Message)
This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, His one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.

He did that so people could find their way home - out of darkness - out of terror - out of fear - out of grief - out of heartache - out of rage.

He calls out the name. "And My Son, Jesus."

As the planes hit the towers, and we in our horror said, "it wasn't supposed to be this way", God was calling to the husband who wouldn't make it home, "This way. Come to Me"

As the heroes of the day streamed up the stairs while others fled down, some never reached the floors they intended to, but God said "This way. Come to me."

As men and women who had planned America's battles found themselves in a fire fight they could not win, a voice called out to them, "This way. Come home to Me."

An airplane in the wrong hands struck earth in a Pennsylvania field far short of its intended destination. Yet God called out to those who were aboard, "This way. Come to Me."

We don't have to wonder where God was that day.

Within the terror, throughout the smoke, in the midst of the worst man could do to man, He was calling to His children, "This way. This way."

He was calling them home.

It wasn't supposed to be this way, but it is. We cannot be sure something like 9-11 won't ever happen again. But before it could happen, we can help people find God - find the One who knows the pain and heartache we face - help them find the Way. Don't wait friends. Don't wait.

"This way" - He's calling today. "This way to life."

Remember?

Three Weeks In

2011-09-09T22:53:00.000-05:00

I can spot them in a crowded playground. I can pick their voices out in a noisy lunchroom. I'm already hating the thought of leaving them in late October when the teacher I'm subbing returns from pregnancy leave. Three weeks in, they are my kids... until they aren't.

16 hearts that rise and fall over "who likes who" one minute and how they did on a math test the next... cause me to work so hard that last week I came home on Friday, fell asleep on the couch at 4:30, slept until 6:30, stayed up another two hours then crashed for TEN hours. I've graded dozens of papers, searched for the absolute best way to teach the curriculum, and spent time learning how to use the technology I have access to. It's a testimony to the human ability to adapt and overcome that I'm awake right now and doing pretty well. But it's the third week in.

By now I've realized that my belief in them isn't always returned by their best effort. I can pull some into the teaching by using unique strategies and my immense personal charm... (insert laugh here) but not all of them and not all the time. I've seen them fail when they shouldn't have and seen them enjoy success and not learn from it. My commitment to teaching them the facts they need is only part of what I'm working to get across. I want them to learn to learn. I want them to embrace personal responsibility for their actions and their inactions. That doesn't make me the good guy some of the time though. So be it. I want the best for them and out of them so this year will be one they look back on with pride of accomplishment.

Every morning as I put their chairs back on the floor, I quietly voice a prayer for each of them by name - that on the day that's about to unfold I will be able to lead them to learn and to grow. Yes, I ask to come God into the classroom, everyday. And He does.

Three weeks in.

Keep On Keeping On!

2011-09-08T22:19:00.000-05:00

What I'm getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what you've done from the beginning.
When I was living among you, you lived in responsive obedience.
Now that I'm separated from you, keep it up.
Better yet, redouble your efforts.
Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God.
Paul's Letter to His Friends at Philippi 2:12

Dallas Willard, author of many books on growing closer to God puts it this way.

"Grace doesn't preclude effort."
It's not those who pick and choose when they serve who I admire the most in this life. It's those who are practicing what Eugene Peterson calls "A Long Obedience In the Same Direction." Those who go to work every day knowing they won't finish that day, or the day after... or the day after that. Who take the long view and get to work.

And stay at work.

Learning the Secret

2011-09-06T16:21:00.003-05:00

The purpose of all faith is to bring us into direct, personal touch with God. True prayer is an awareness of our helpless need, an acknowledgment of divine adequacy. For Jesus, prayer was as necessary as breathing, the very breath of His life. Although God certainly knows all our needs, praying for them changes our attitude from complaint to praise, and enables us to participate in God's personal plans of our lives.
(Ray C. Stedman, Talking to My Father)

In Mark 5, Jesus strides directly into the deepest fears of several people. In an area that religious Jews avoided because of the darkness they saw. In a heart-lifting display of His power over... everything... He casts out demons by the thousand... He heals without intending to... He raises a little girl from the dead.

In every case, the people had no other option.

None.

But they recognized that Jesus was their only true hope... precisely because they had exhausted their human search for a "fix it."

They came to him and put themselves at His feet.

Whatever they received would be something better than what their situation found themselves in. They saw in Jesus someone who could make that situation change and they desperately put themselves in position to get him to act.

And He did.

In the past year, I've learned more about faith than ever before - and I've lived a long time.

I never would have learned without being forced to. Never would have stopped to consider what little effect our methods, programs, etc. have on the development of a ministry that lives and breathes faith in God - because it has to. We've had some incredibly successful years here if you look at the numbers. But is that really success?

Or is increasing in dependency on God, in faith in His goodness, and in our actions in response?

It doesn't have to be either/or, and I hope one day to see both happening at the same time. But right now, I'm wanting to see God do what only He can do - here at New Hope, in the lives of many of our church families, and in my family's life.

I'm learning the secret.

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Phil 4:12-13 (NIV)

Can a sermon happen without Powerpoint?

2011-09-04T10:00:00.000-05:00

I'm in the sanctuary at New Hope, typing these words on my Google Chromebook as I go through the preparation for this morning's worship. There's no electrical power as of yet, but I am hoping it will be restored before we meet at 10:45. It's very quiet here without any of the kids voices or the laughter of the adults as they meet and greet each other.

Ordinarily I'd be teaching children right now, but we cancelled Sunday School hoping to be able to meet later. So I'm working through the sermon for today - without my Power Point. GASP! Since I switched to preaching without notes years ago, the PPT has been my outline and guide to keep me in the text and not "rambling" as Bunny calls it. So we'll see how I deliver with just a Bible in my hand.

Frankly, it's exciting.

I love technology and use a lot of picture illustrations and video when they fit. But there's something about just standing there with my Bible that's "right."

Today's sermon is from Mark 5, where Jesus enters what the Jews would have considered one of the darkest places in their area (if not on earth) to bring hope to the hopeless. First the man possessed by legions of demons. Then on the way to cure Jairus' daughter - the woman with an issue of blood. And finally, the little girl. Each and every one of them were past desperation. No power of earth could help. The power that created earth could.

Right now it is raining so hard that birds are roosting under the sanctuary eaves. They know where to go when the rains come. Do we?

For some, hope is a dream they are chasing. Everything has to fall just right, but if that happens, then...

For the Christian, hope is a person. Jesus. He is our hope.

I'll be lifting Him up today.

Aha!

2011-09-03T12:20:00.001-05:00

It was glorious. Transcendent. Heavenly.

15 children were, for a moment, released to soar.

For two weeks they had struggled, fighting against the lethargy of a summer spent doing everything BUT math. There were times when I wondered if they had ever been introduced.

When I did the first assessment - it scared me. Stunningly bad. Horrific.

So I said a quick prayer and began working to change reality.

We worked. And we worked. And we worked. It rained math worksheets, it hailed flashcards. I graded papers until I fell asleep grading papers two nights in a row.

Friday came.

I was hoping. Praying. Believing.

But...

It was as if every kid had a math milkshake for breakfast. Every one of them clamored to do math. They competed with each other to do it. I had to resort to calling on them randomly to keep them in check.

At the end, we were adding and subtracting in the millions. MILLIONS.

Flawlessly.

It felt awesome.

I am so proud of those kids.

When It Rains

2011-09-01T20:45:00.001-05:00

There are so many things I've been given throughout my life from the people who have inhabited it with me. Among them are a rich repository of expressions. My family background includes forebears who lived close to the earth as sharecroppers, and those who spent long hours in cotton mills. Then there are those who sowed their colorful language into my vocabulary from my jobs as a ditch digger, surveyor's helper, Coca Cola driver, warehouse worker...

One of those phrases popped into my head last night, but the setting it dropped into stood the meaning I had traditionally associated with it on it's head.

"When It Rains, It Pours"

Every time before last night, I had used that in conjunction with a series of reverses - of trouble piled on trouble.

But last night all that changed.

Because when it rains, it can also pour blessing after blessing.

It was the tail end of a long day of my bifurcated life. I had poured myself out to 15 children all day and rushed home to rush to church. Wednesday just is a marathon. When I arrived at church to manage the food distribution and make sure the meals for our New Hope folks were served, I was quickly surrounded by people who helped - well really, I was also blessed by those who had ALREADY helped - like my awesome wife Bunny who had cooked for 90 people, and Christi Moore who had purchased the ingredients and laid out all the take-out trays.

Then Patrick Calvary and Taylor Bryan came in to deliver the meals. What a blessing! These young men have plenty of other things to do, but they chose to serve the needy in Valparaiso. We're pushing 70 meals a week now.

A few minutes later a flood of kids rushed in and filled the fellowship hall. A few minutes later one of them, Kelly, came to me crying and showing me a bloody toe. She had somehow gotten hit by the door. We started tending to her and she kept saying "I don't want to go home. I don't want to go home. All my friends are here." Kelly took literally years to warm up to us - didn't talk at all for the longest time - but now we're all family.

After worship practice, I hurried back over to the fellowship hall and was handed an envelope that Patrick and Taylor had been handed during their deliveries. One of the people we deliver to gave it to them. The front of the envelope said "The Lord's Money" and on the back she had written a note of encouragement. It was filled with money. Wow.

Having God provision that ministry through that ministry was encouragement enough.

People wonder why New Hope goes out into tough places.
People whisper about whether we'll be able to continue to feed more people than we see in worship on some Sundays.
People see the developmentally disabled welcomed and valued and shake their heads.
People marvel at how we thrill at having rougher neighborhood kids at New Hope.

Friends, if you want sanitized, predictable, programmed religion, you don't want New Hope.

But if you want to be so close to God's heart that you can hear it beat in the heart of a child, or in the least of these...

If you want to MATTER in the work of bringing God's love to bear on man's needs...

New Hope is the place.

When it rains here, it pours out God's grace.

We Buried the Can'ts!

2011-08-30T23:16:00.000-05:00

Our class was too focused on what we could not do and needed to focus instead on what they could do. So I decided that we needed to have a funeral for our "Can'ts." I borrowed a shovel from the custodian and we went out back. After I said a few words, we buried them and went back inside.

It's a challenge to get children to believe in themselves, but it's one I am ready to meet. I hope the kids will remember this day for a long time.

15 Souls

2011-08-26T23:20:00.000-05:00

It's hard to put into words what the opening week of my sojourn as a public school teacher brought to my mind and my heart. But here goes.

Some fly in the door as if propelled by the sheer force of their eagerness to learn - to do. Others slip in quietly, seeming to hope I won't notice. For each it's the role they've chosen to make it through. To make it.

It's my job to make sure they do.

That they open their minds to possibilities. That they close their ears to all the voices whispering "you can't do this." That they begin to believe in themselves as a learner - as a person who plans to grow.

It's my job to see they do.

We began the week as strangers, and became a class.

We did math - oh did we do math. Tons and tons of math. So much math that at the end of the week we celebrated the last math problem with a cheer and high fives.

We drilled spelling words - owned them.

We wrote story after story.

I did my best to keep the brightest and most eager challenged and prod, cajole, and encourage those who either needed help or motivation. We rehearsed our actions and procedures for everything again and again. And again. And again.

There was laughter. There were tears. No, not mine. :) I underestimated the effect that failure has on third graders. So we reinvented mistakes as learning markers and after I had them write what they thought they could not do - the "I Can'ts" on notebook paper - we buried them in the back yard.

I gave everything I had to them every single minute of every single day.

Because the Okaloosa County School District might list them as children...

... but I see them as 15 souls.

First Day of School

2011-08-22T21:49:00.000-05:00

They came, they saw, they conquered.

15 incredibly wee little souls came into the classroom and trusted me to help them move forward.

We moved.

Not an evolutionary leap to be sure, spelling and math caused some problems, but they were trying hard and were amazingly cooperative all day long. All through a dizzying list of procedures and new information, they stuck with me. Kids like that make you want to do more for them. Just because.

You watch them as they try to do and see some fly through with little if any trouble and agonize as others really don't seem to "get" anything without much help. They call it differentiated instruction, but what it means is don't bore the very gifted and don't lose those who aren't there yet. I cannot begin to do much about that just now, but we'll get there.

Tomorrow, we're going to rehearse the procedures again, touch our toes into the math seas, and we may just write out what we think we "can't do" and have a burial behind the portable for them. These kids CAN. I believe in them.

First Day of School Eve

2011-08-21T20:36:00.000-05:00

Tonight I'm going to enjoy a meal with my family and then get to work preparing for tomorrow's first day of school. The school district has vetted me, the principal has selected me, and the teacher I'm working with has trusted me with 15 children entering the third grade. You know me, I've read everything I can about how to start the year right.

The stakes are this high:

A new study reveals that the level of reading skills children develop by third grade may indicate their likelihood of graduating high school.

Released by The Annie E. Casey Foundation, the report found that students who don't read proficiently by third grade are four times more likely to leave school without a diploma when compared to proficient readers. The number rises when those kids also come from poverty.

Article from Huffington Post

Third grade is a pivotal year. It's when the educators step on the gas and accelerate instruction. My kids will learn the scientific method, how to use primary sources, how to multiply and divide, how to write in cursive and much much more. All of this will occur while their body grows and changes and they become much more social. Their teacher has to be their guide to and through.

So as soon as I close this I'll go into my office and pray through tomorrow and how I'm going to start their journey.

Pray for them.

Pray for me.

Will It Be Enough?

2011-08-18T22:03:00.000-05:00

My "office" for the next 9 weeks is a portable classroom at Mary Esther Elementary - "The Thunderbirds." Monday morning will find me on the receiving end of 15 third graders who the principal believes I can lead to a great start on the school year while the permanent teacher Ms. McClelland is on her maternity leave. I'm a long term substitute teacher.

It's an answer to prayer. Not "the" answer - but an answer.

Like so many roads life takes you down, this one is fraught with uncertainties. It should be a stepping stone to a full time position somewhere in the district. It should help me gain skills in the classroom I can get no other way. It should help New Hope begin to ease her struggling. It should help my family.

But will it be enough?

I do not know.

But I will trust my God who loves me, loves my family, loves our church. I will give everything I have to give to those I love and those I serve.

12 Years

2011-08-14T08:45:00.001-05:00

First day in the office at New Hope 1999

11 Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you. Our hearts are open to you. 12 If there is a problem between us, it is not because of a lack of love on our part, but because you have withheld your love from us. 13 I am talking now as I would to my own children. Open your hearts to us!

2 Cor 6:11-13 (NLT)

That was the text I preached on this morning. It's appropriate for today since it deals with the heart of the one they call the pastor - his heart for the people God has placed him within to serve and to love.

I was called as pastor in July 1999 and we moved down here in August - the 19th to be exact. What a ride it has been.

It is hard to really grasp what's happened in my life, in the life of my family, and in the life of our New Hope family in the last 12 years. People forget sometimes that the pastor is subject to the same frailties every other human being wrestles with. My perspective on what's happened can change depending on how I'm feeling physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I can be amazed and elated over what God has done in and through the lives of the people I love, or I can step into the shadows and only see what's been lost. I'll try not to go there tonight.

Logan Marston

Mistakes, I've made them. And I've done some things right. I've seen two men through to full-time ministry and both seem to be doing well. Either they observed and learned what we've done at New Hope and taken some of that forward to their places of service, or observed what happened here and resolved to never do it that way. :) Either way, to God be the glory.

2001 after an evening service

This is a job beyond the ability of anyone, regardless of how well trained or how gifted. You literally can do everything right and still find yourself marked as wrong. The one I will always remember is being up at the church one Saturday afternoon cutting the grass and being told by one senior saint who had been my strongest supporter when I was called but had reconsidered :) - "You know if we had more men in this church the pastor wouldn't be cutting the grass" followed by "and you are cutting it too short."

God bless her, she's with the Lord now - do hope the grass is to her liking up there.

Sean and Me in 2004

I've probably rejoiced too much when people chose to unite their hearts with us in service of God through New Hope. Why do I say that? Simply because I take it too hard when people have to (or decide to) leave. It's just the way I'm built I guess. There's a personal loss and then the greater - "How will this affect New Hope?" Because for me, New Hope is more than a job - this is my life's work for the last 12 years. I have given everything I knew how to give to those in my care. So yeah, it hurts when they leave.

I once had a deacon and Sunday School teacher hand out his reasons for leaving on a Sunday when I was away in Georgia preaching a revival. I managed to get back that evening before the Sunday night service was over. In those days we had our sound equipment off to the side in a room we now use for our Child to Child girls ministry. I slipped in, listened to the sermon and after the invitation walked out to be told about the departure. "We just don't agree on the direction of the church," he said. "Oh and happy birthday Brother David." Yeah, that stung.

Good times

During the 12 years, I've had the honor of officiating at the wedding of my son Adam and his beloved Shonda.

Done a few other weddings including that of Robert Hughes and Jewel Cutchens, senior saints who found each other in their latter years.

Just sent Jonathan and Heather McGee out into the river of life last weekend. Most all have made it, but not all, and I hate that.

These Guys Have - Nate and Amanda

Funerals have been a part of the 12 years too. To me it's a high honor just to be asked to put a frame around the life of someone's loved one. So when I was asked to say a few words about my Aunt Geneva, or try to put my Father's life into perspective, I stuffed my grief in a box and did it. But standing by the tiny grave of our only grandchild - our granddaughter Ana - ripped my heart and tested my soul. Still, God gave me the strength to let everyone there know of His love for that little one, and for all who were there.

I've even performed funerals for furry loved ones on occasion. Those of you who have pets and have lost one to death understand exactly how much it hurts. We've lost three awesome dog/friends to death while we have been here. The last one, Henley the Great Dane - losing him broke our hearts. We still grieve that loss. If it happens to you, and you want someone to help you through - I'm your man.

I could spend some more time talking through some of the great things God did during the twelve years I've been here - because there really have been some things that could have only happened if God willed it so. This last year He's probably taught us all more about living by faith than most years. We feel every loss keenly now, and only God's miraculous provision has kept us here. The numbers don't add up. But God is so, so good.

But if you know me, you know I'm not into numbers. I'm into hearing about what God has done.

I love stories - stories of how God came into someone's life.

Kylie Quinnell Became A Christian That Day

Stories of how a small church had an impact around the world as a group of little girls led them to care.

Stories of how a couple of men who love to work with boys have poured themselves and their values into scores of kids.

Joe and some of the boys

Stories of people serving the neighborhood,

serving in KY, in WV, in NOLA, in Nigeria and Guatemala - all the while giving so that others could serve where God had called them.

12 years.

To those of you who joined us on the journey, my heartfelt thanks.

We Both Ate Lucky Charms For Breakfast Yesterday

2011-08-12T11:52:00.000-05:00

Lucy in better days

Spent some time yesterday with some of my favorite young people - Kira Stoy, Sydney Hoskinson, and Ian Anderson. Bunny had the girls in our Honda so Mr. Ian and I headed out in my car. Ian and I have a lot in common.

- We both ate Lucky Charms for breakfast yesterday
- We both wonder about things like physics and natural laws that other people don't
- We both love science fiction
- We both get our geek on, obviously

Yesterday though we had lots of fun looking at the high tech tools in Home Depot and Office Depot, and though we shared a love of pizza at Cici's (he ate at least 9 pieces, I ate 4), we also talked about something we share that neither of us ever wanted.

You see Ian's friend Lucy the dog is dying from a brain tumor.

I know how that feels.

Our friend Henley the Great Dane had bone cancer with no hope of a cure, and the weeks between knowing something was wrong and the understanding that it was cancer were awful. We couldn't look at him without crying. We kept praying it would go away, but it didn't.

It wasn't our first experience with the death of a furry friend though.

For Ian, Lucy was his first encounter with the incredible, lavish generosity of a dog's love. She converted a cat-loving boy to someone who would come into my office and talk about what Lucy did yesterday, or tell me about the photos on his phone. She came into the family unexpectedly - rescued while they were on vacation in Alabama - and was adopted into their hearts and lives. Joy with fur. But now came sorrow, deep.

So when he talked about it yesterday, eyes clouding up as he did, I was listening and praying for God to pour every ounce of grace and mercy into my friend's heart. "Bear each other's burdens..." is commanded in Scripture, but I knew that the best I could do is pray for God to touch the heart of my young friend, and help him begin to work it out.

Pray for the Anderson family. Pray for Ian. Pray for Lucy.

And thank God for dogs - for the ONLY thing worse than saying goodbye to one is never having been loved by one at all. Even in death, they teach us how to live.

In Every Way You Can Think Of And More

2011-08-10T11:53:00.000-05:00

Our friend Allan

Had one of those morning runs today that was more walk than run. Left knee wasn't happy; lungs voiced their concerns; mind versus body all the way around. So I thought and I prayed my way through it. Something about taking thoughts captive and all that.

On the homeward stretch I saw my friend Allan up ahead.

Allan's still grieving the loss of his grandfather, and as I saw him my heart cried out to God to comfort him.

I lost sight of him for a moment behind a building but when I drew alongside a local restaurant, "Say Cake", that serves breakfast and lunch along with what you'd think they served, there was Allan inside. He was talking to someone and gesturing about where to sit, or that's what it seemed to me. A young man walked from behind him and pausing slightly, put a hand on Allan's shoulder. The look on his face told me that God had answered my prayer for Allan.

That's my God.

I've been here twelve years now. Preached a gazillion sermons, taught through most of the Bible. Prayed over and over than God would use my feeble efforts to let others know they are loved. That God is incredibly resourceful and relentless in that love. That He'll take every opportunity - even create them if there's need - to whisper in your joys and shout into your pain (to paraphrase CS Lewis) - to let you know - YOU ARE LOVED.

But there are some people whose perception of themselves and/or the world around them just won't let them see that. And it breaks my heart.

Brennan Manning wrote this in his amazingly grace filled book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" -

"And Grace calls out, 'You are not just a disillusioned old man who may die soon, a middle-aged woman stuck in a job and desperately wanting to get out, a young person feeling the fire in the belly begin to grow cold. You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you. But you are not just that. You are accepted.' Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted."
— Brennan Manning (The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out)

In every way you can think of and more, you are accepted for who you are. You are loved. Open your ears, your eyes, your heart to the One who gave everything to show you how much.

I Talked To God About You Today

2011-08-09T21:15:00.000-05:00

Tuesday's are usually very calm here in my office and it's then I am able to have an uninterrupted block to use for prayer. For many years I have tried to find such a space every week to pray for every person who is a part of New Hope. Right now, it's Tuesday morning.

Being a part of us means you are someone who we know and come in contact with. That can be those who show up on Sunday and Wednesday night regularly. That can be someone who comes occasionally. It can also be those we see when we are delivering meals, or just in the community we love. If you showed up for the first time Sunday - you got prayed for today.

Let me give you a glimpse into what I prayed for today.

Today I have the grief of one family on my heart, and in particular that of two girls whose aunt passed away in Korea.
Then there's Allan, and the loss of his grandfather that still is affecting him.
There's Carol, and her heart for her friends the McDaniels in the storm their son finds himself in. I prayed for their son Bobby and all who love him.
And I prayed for Nathan, who woke up this morning far away from home.

Just a snippet. There's so much more.

There's Jonathan in Alaska, Rachel in Colorado, Michael and Kristen in Georgia...

and you. I prayed for you.

This is the work a pastor has to do, or he'll never understand how God's heart breaks for the people they both love.

This is the work that ties what we'll say for God on Sunday to what is going on in the hearts of those who come to hear.

This is that time that brings the pastor a glimpse of just why "Jesus wept."

So many times my heart breaks over what the people God gave me to love are going through. But I turn that, and the outcome of everything - over to God. "Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

For I know that God is staggeringly GOOD. And I know that I can care, I can empathize, I can even cry - But GOD CAN DO.

So despite what I've walked through in prayer, valleys of shadows turn to open horizons lit with God's amazing love.

I talked to God about you today.

And He told me He loves you.

Monday

2011-08-08T16:21:00.000-05:00

They say more preachers quit on Monday than any other day.

I can understand that.

Standing before people and opening God's Word, having prayed and prepared all week, hoping and praying that God will inhabit the moments and empower the message... leaves you at the edge of a cliff leaning forward. Even if you run through your routine - like a golfer on the tee - and try to put yourself outside the act you are about to do, and make yourself focus on the "process", if you are serious about hoping to be used by God, your heart is exposed and vulnerable. That's just the way it is.

Philip Brooks famously said, "Preaching is Truth through personality" - and you are in that message. You step out knowing that you cannot even begin to know what the people in front of you are struggling with, except in a general way - unless they tell you. But you believe with everything you've got that the God you serve wants each and every one of them to move closer, so His arms will embrace them.

And sometimes, looking back, you feel like you were in the way, like a tall guy at a parade with little kids trying to find a way to see around you. If you'd just move, maybe someone would get it... this time. If the music had been right, if it hadn't been so hot or so cold, if this family or that hadn't been on vacation... you invent scenarios that have nothing to do with reality.

The reality is that no matter what happened, God WAS there.

Yesterday, my friend Joe Gnatek up in New Hampshire sent a message out to his church via Facebook that said :

When we are weak God is made strong in us. We had a very weak service today. But God is still good. I'll preach better next week. I thought I was still on vacation. ;)

I understand what Joe was feeling when he wrote that.

If he'd only had our praise team's version of "Our God Is Greater" from yesterday I'm sure he'd have felt better. ;)

But God's power to change lives does NOT depend on our ability at all.

One day we'll be able to see what those "off" Sundays did for the Kingdom. I would not be surprised if some of them might just be the ones God used the most for His glory.

You Matter More Than You Know

2011-08-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

Picture ©CMM 2011

The pictures are beginning to roll in from the wedding today. Moments frozen in time of a young couple stepping out into life. I told them that every moment before today was going to be a part of what they gave to each other and it was up to them to create their own memories from that moment on. They'll have plenty of time to do just that.

I wanted to take a minute before I close the books on today and let you know something from my heart.

You matter more than you know.

All of you.

You who cut the grass and cleaned the church.
You who keep the flowers looking so pretty.
You who so willingly gave your decorations, your help, and your time.
You who set up the stage, cooked the food, cleaned the kitchen and set the church up for tomorrow.
You who took the pictures. And took the pictures. And took the pictures.
You who made our guests from Arkansas so welcome that one of them said "I wish I could be a part of a church like this one." (BTW she gave an offering to the work here at New Hope so I wish she'd stay :) )
You who treated Allan with such love today as he continues to struggle with the loss of his grandfather.

All of you made a difference today for Christ.

Such a special day.

Spent with such awesome people who I love so deeply because of who you are and what you do for our Lord.

You matter more than you will ever know this side of heaven.

Monks Don't Reproduce

2011-08-04T19:50:00.000-05:00

So I'm doing my usual yeoman's work of lurking within a Facebook conversation. Couple of folks are talking about what Jesus calls us to do. One person decides to set the bar high for everyone and keeps referencing Jesus' instructions to the "rich young ruler" - "sell all you have and then come, follow me." Now most of us would admit that very few people ever take that instruction to be directed at anyone BUT the young man Jesus was addressing. That was his "god" and Jesus was trying to see if he'd renounce it to follow Him. He didn't.

One person points that out, but the guy still comes back with "sell all you have, then follow."

I finally am moved to comment.

"Don't sell all you have to follow Jesus - that's TOO EASY.

Keep what you have - your job, your spouse, your relationships, your car, your house - keep it all.

THEN follow Jesus in everything. Everyday.

Monks don't reproduce."

I know, I'm a thread-killer. :) But...

It wasn't the Monks in their cells that spread Christianity across the world. It was farmers, and soldiers, and tradesmen. It wasn't the sermons in the great cathedrals, it was the conversations among average people going about their everyday lives. The Monks didn't reproduce their faith.

You may have times of great piety and great devotion. But if they are not who you are every day, that's not following Jesus - that's something else. How do you treat people? How do you use your time? How do you handle your money? Are you faithful to your commitments? Do you love the place and people God has placed you with on the journey? Do you show that, or is it a "secret admirer" sort of love?

Everyday in numerous ways, the place you live and the people you live with test your faith and walk with Christ. In this culture, living a Radical life is more about living a Christ-centered life in the everyday than it ever would be in a monastery.

One more time - Monks don't reproduce. Go live it right here - right now!

“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on." Matt 7:22

Dorothy's Not In Kansas Anymore

2011-08-02T19:20:00.000-05:00

(Bunny and Dorothy)

I love New Orleans. I hate New Orleans.

There are places here, sacred places - where for generation after generation people have come and worshiped God. You can see it in the silent indentations on the kneeling rails behind the pews. Worn over many years, they speak of devotion - of faith over time. It shouts to you in the architecture - in the art that fills the churches. If you walked into some of these houses of worship, never having owned a Bible, I could lead you through the story of Christ's birth, life, death, and resurrection just by drawing your attention to the walls and windows. The love and devotion that went into creating each of those spaces, even when worshipers and choir are absent - truly sing praises without words. I am in awe of what God has done through them - is doing through them. Those places - I love. I feel at home there, even though I'm not of their "stream" of Christianity. I may be a second cousin twice removed to them, but it still feels like home to me.

There are places here where the sacred and secular clash. The plaza in front of St Louis Cathedral for example is sometimes filled with people trying to make a buck by telling fortunes. It always bothers me that the light of Christ can't seem to make it outside the cathedral doors to make a difference. Then there's the street people. Some are purposefully making themselves noticed by painting themselves silver, or gold, or wearing Uncle Sam outfits, or anything they can use to catch your eye. Others bring the sounds of music to bear to try and eke out a living, dollar by dollar as they sing and play.

I know it's part of the local color. I know it's not New Orleans without them. But the precipice they seem to be backed up against seems so near, and their fall from making a living to not so in view, that they bother me a great deal. I love New Orleans. I hate New Orleans.

And yet... every time we come here, Bunny and I are placed in the path of someone who grabs our hearts. Every time God places us in close proximity to someone who needs to know they are more than part of the background for us tourists. Someone who needs to know that they aren't forgotten. That God cares. We failed miserably last year when God placed a young man in our path. Bunny and I had both been praying that if we got the opportunity - we would not fail again.

This time it was Dorothy. She met us near the Cafe Du Monde and offered to take our picture together. So then Bunny suggested we take hers. That's her in the picture above. After I did that, Bunny started talking to her and it was then we heard of her poverty and homelessness. Dorothy said that the clothes she had on were all she had. That she was staying at a mission just down the street from where we were.

She was hoping for help to pay for a night at the mission. Quick prayers. More talk. Then a walk by me to an ATM. We talked for a few more minutes as we walked, but eventually we decided we should trust Dorothy and give her enough for two nights. The look in her eyes was one of deep relief and thankfulness. She hugged Bunny, and then Bunny started to cry. She came back and hugged her again.

I had carried a coin in my pocket since last year's trip. One side was crosses and the other side had this verse on it:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)

I gave it to Dorothy, telling her that God had not forgotten her - that she was His precious child and He would see her through this place she was in. She turned around and started to walk , and then she hugged me - hard. We all shed tears as God drew near in that moment.

I think people have a deep seated need to know that they aren't forgotten - that they matter to someone. So God put us in NOLA last week to deliver a message to one of His daughters named Dorothy. We'll never forget her and hope to one day see her again - if not in NOLA - in heaven. Would you pray for Dorothy - for all the "Dorothy's" right now?

Daisies & God

2011-07-20T15:45:00.000-05:00

It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never gotten tired of making them. It may be that God has the eternal appetite of infancy.
G.K. Chesterton

One of the things I fight about growing older is the tendency to grow bored with the miracle of life. Every day we take about 20,000 breaths and every single one is a gift. Our eyes, one of the most intricately designed parts of our body, do the amazing work of recognizing, translating, and communicating what's in front of us. Our ears discriminate music from the background noise. Our nose picks up the molecular traces that we call smells. We're able to grip a baseball bat and hold a newborn.

We live in a miracle, AS a miracle.

As tired, as cynical, as bored as we get with it all, I am convinced that God never does. For all the fuss about our needing to get in touch with our inner child, God simply never forgot what it means to love something for what it is. Not for what it does for Him, or what it could be if He changed it - like we so often love - but for God, a daisy brings joy because it simply is.

Newsflash - He loves you the same way.

I am dead serious here.

There is nothing you can do to earn His love. Nothing you could do to make Him love you more. Sure there are things you and I both do that don't please God - some which may even make Him angry at the sheer foolishness of our rebellious ways.

But friend, He'd do it all again.

And He does.

For you. For me.

Let yourself remember what it's like to be loved for who you are.

You Darn Interwebs! Get off my lawn!

2011-07-19T14:05:00.000-05:00

So I was exploring the latest and greatest social network today, trying to figure out whether it was going to be a blessing or a curse, and when I got back over to Facebook, I had a "poke" to return. I did it immediately, because the person who "poked" me is someone Bunny and I care for a great deal. They've not been as regular at New Hope as we'd love for them to be this summer. Stuff with family; stuff with friends; teen age stuff; stuff stuff.

But if we want to "connect" with them, there's Facebook. We can return "pokes."

I realize that I'm in danger of trowing the grumpy old man card on the pile here, but a "poke" is just not enough for me. Now this is coming from someone who can be almost anti-social at times when I'm harried and hammered by events and responsibilities. I'm also someone whose idea of a perfect day could simply be me and Bunny at the beach. (Now remember we live 15 minutes away, so going to the beach is part of a normal week for us. For you, sorry. :) )

But could I be forgiven for saying that what I love about New Hope is seeing the people that make it up living together as brothers and sisters in Christ? Being there when someone is laughing so hard they are crying simultaneously. Hearing what's happening in one another's life. Helping someone through a rough place, or with a stubborn doubt. Celebrating God's goodness and sharing life's pain.

There are people that I have spent almost 12 years praying for every day. People who I have seen grow up. People I have seen grow older.

They are my church family, and when any of them aren't there, well... it just isn't the same.

So let's enjoy the technology. Let's string connections across every device and every platform we can think of. But I just wanted you to realize that if you are relying on those to grow your relationships deeper, it ain't happening. People need more than just a "poke."

Google Plus So Far

2011-07-16T13:19:00.000-05:00

I'm an early adopter. I admit it. I like the idea of helping a company do something do - so much so that I've been a beta tester several times. In fact this is being typed on a Google CR-48 prototype Chromebook. So when I saw the news about Google+ I wanted in. Got the invite from my daughter-in-love (thanks Shonda!) and immediately was struck by how different it was from Facebook - and potentially how much better it could be.

I LOVE circles. Think that's an awesome idea that can really help a lot of people. I've already created ministry and teaching circles to hopefully connect with some folks in those areas. (If you're reading this and aren't already in - hit me up for an invite)

I like Sparks - cool way to explore some interests.

I think the Hangouts will be fun too.

But where's the integration, Google? Why can't my Blogger post to plus directly? Why can't I share a Google Reader feed or turn it into a Spark? Why isn't Picasa or YouTube hard wired in right now?

In short, I am hopeful that + takes off in a big way, but it's very early.

Certified!

2011-07-16T12:12:00.000-05:00

I passed the K-6 certification test yesterday!

It was "high-stakes" testing yesterday for me. Not just due to the $200 price of admission, but since the door to the classroom was padlocked until I passed the test, there was some pressure. Yes I had just completed a teacher education program with straight "A's." Yes I had purchased two study guides and reviewed them for the last month.

But after substitute teaching this spring, and the experiences I had in student teaching, I am very aware - more than ever before of the stakes involved. If "Johnny and Jennie" don't learn, everything starts to unravel. Their lives and the lives they will touch, certainly. But beyond that, our society as a whole. We need educated citizens who understand what their role in this "grand experiment" is. Those who teach them ought to be highly motivated and highly skilled.

The test definitely spanned a wide range of topics and information. There were a lot of thoughtful questions about strategies you might use with students presenting with different needs. I liked that, because it was the reality in every classroom I taught in this year. There were some good questions about civics and government, about real world use of math and science - overall I thought it was harder than I thought it would be going in. And that's a good thing.

There are more tests to come. The General Knowledge test, the Professional Educator's Test, and possibly the Social Studies or English subject test. But since I want to teach in Elementary, the K-6 was the ONE I needed NOW to be "hireable." I expect to receive certification in Business Education and Social Studies 6-12 based on transcript review, but my heart is in the lower grades. We'll see.

The last six months of work, school, substitute and student teaching combined to really stress me, Bunny, and our relationship. We made it through thanks to an enduring love and the grace of God. Bunny was so supportive and encouraging even when it was really rough. We hope to be able to squeeze a quick get-away in before school starts so we can stand in a vacation-location and just be a couple again. We LOVE those times when we remember just how deep and intense our love for one another is. There has been no prayer I've prayed more over the years than one of thanks to God for sending me her.

So dear reader, one more hurdle has been overcome. Now lets pray there's a principal out there in Okaloosa County that wants to hire me. Thank you for all your help (I'm looking at you Amy Anderson and Diane Weech) and prayers.

First world problems

2011-07-16T10:27:00.000-05:00

There really isn't a "third world" today. The term comes from when people characterized the world as developed nations, nations behind the "Iron Curtain" and the undeveloped "third world." It's more like the "two-thirds" world. THAT world doesn't worry about Wii remotes; it worries about clean water, where their next meal will come from, and diseases. THAT world CAN CHANGE if we here have the will to make it happen. Already global severe poverty has been cut in half, and organizations like World Vision, Amazima, Compassion, and the like are working to give people in THAT WORLD a chance at a better life.

Bunny and I sponsor a child in Rwanda. Sean sponsors a little girl in Ethiopia. Several others at New Hope also do individually as well as classes also sponsoring children. We've sold bags made by women in Malawi to help families climb up out of poverty. We've purchased the Universal Nut Sheller to help raise production of peanuts - again so people can climb up. There are others we've done, but I wanted to give you a glimpse of what a small group of people in THIS WORLD can do.

What are YOU doing?

Friends, we may not be able to fix the world, but we can DO SOMETHING! - and we ought to. That "least of these" comment Jesus made? He meant it.

Downwind

2011-07-13T12:43:00.000-05:00

So this morning dawns bright and sunny after yesterday's monsoon, and while I'm lacing my shoes I'm thinking about how great it's going to be to walk along Bayshore. It was a bit cooler as I stepped outside, and since it's downhill from my house, I got a great start. Played Frogger with the cars heading into Eglin as I crossed the 4 lane, and reached Bayshore. Walking pretty briskly, I looked out over the water, sunlight reflecting off the slight waves, and saw an early rising water skier enjoying their ride. A little farther and I saw an osprey shopping for breakfast. All was right with the world. But then...

What is that smell? My stomach almost turned over, as did my breakfast. The suddenness and the intensity gripped me. I'll press on, I thought, and get past this. But I didn't get past it. I walked another quarter of a mile and it would not let up. I rounded a corner and discovered the source. I had been following the garbage truck. And on a warm and muggy Florida morning, it was ripe.

So I waved to them and changed direction. It took a slight detour through the neighborhood, but I was able to come out ahead of them, back on Bayshore, and enjoyed the rest of my time.

What is it that stinks in your life today?

Maybe it's time to change direction.

'Do people fall down and not get up? Or take the wrong road and then just keep going? 5 So why does this people go backwards, and just keep on going—backwards! They stubbornly hold on to their illusions, refuse to change direction.
Jer 8:4-5 (MSG)

If God has shown you that where you are is not where He wants you to be - decide to change direction and follow His path today. Living out of God's will stinks.

Where David Hearts Keith Olbermann - the end of the world as we know it

2011-07-12T15:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not a fan. I'm not a Democrat. I'm not fooled by the antics of both sides in the current budget debate/circus. But... this is powerful and filled with truth. Take away the comments he makes about the president. They're political and this is above politics. There's a narrative here that he's tracing out that deserves to be heard. It's the one drilled into a group of little girls every week at New Hope. "If you have done it to the least of these, MY people, you have done it unto Me."

We've lost something meaningful in America. There's a balance we've lost, maybe forever, between empowering people through freedom to go as far as their abilities and talents can take them - the nexus of America - and teaching those same people that to whom much is given, much is required. We've lost the idea that work is right, and good... and expected... that everyone matters, that everyone contributes - from the garbage man to the congressman. Hmmm... never mind - not going there. :)

My parents both were dirt poor. It was a match made in Macon. Sharecropper marries mill village lint head. They pulled themselves up through a combination of grit, determination, help from others AND from the government in the form of the CCC, WPA, GI Bill, etc. But they never forgot that but by the grace of God they would have remained poor. We need to be called to repent but simultaneously to DO SOMETHING - first about the needs, then about the opportunities, but also start teaching people that a dollar earned is better than a dollar given to you. We need to help some people out and up, kick some in the rear, and live up to our character as a nation.

How have we gotten to the point where it's okay to cut what some people live on while others pay no taxes at all?

How have we developed groups of people who think they are entitled to more than what our ancestors were - opportunity, a fair shake, and the right to pursue their own happiness?

How is it that we can have people having to choose between their heart medicine and eating tonight?

I guess I'm on shaky ground here with some who will read this, but I might as well go all in.

This friends, to me, is not a Republican or Democratic issue.

This is a decision we make that determines what we really believe about America.

And Keith Olbermann gets that.

What Would Make You Walk In the Pouring Rain?

2011-07-11T18:48:00.000-05:00

It's Monday evening in Valparaiso and dinner was cooking in the Wilson home. The weather was terrible - had been for a while, and the forecast was bad. A severe thunderstorm with heavy lightning and wind gusts up to 35 mph. Not a night for a walk, right? But it was Monday, and that's Allan's day, so neither rain nor...

About 5:15, I got in the Honda and prepared for the short trip to Allan's house. Our friend Allan eats with us almost every Monday night at 5:30. Sometimes he walks here, but most of the time, I drive to his house and pick him up. I hadn't driven three houses down and there was Allan with a yellow towel over his head and shoulders, coming down the street. It was FLOODING.

I got him in the car and back home. We had a typical dinner with him, full of laughs and punctuated by several "I so happy" statements from our guest. We heard about all his favorite topics - work with Mallory at Pizza Hut, his talks with Mark Knowles at the Valparaiso Fire Department, and what the latest Nascar and Atlanta Braves news was. About 30 minutes later, he said "David, I'm ready to go home" and I drove him there.

We gave Allan 30 minutes of our undivided attention and a meal.

And he walked through the pouring rain to get it.

Saturday I was delivering meals here in Valparaiso, and was struck by how much the people we delivered to wanted more than just a meal. They wanted contact. Community. To know they weren't forgotten. To know that someone cared. So we asked about their health, and we talked about the weather, and we listened.

Friend, YOU CAN DO THAT.

You do NOT need a seminary degree. You do not need to be ordained. You do not need anything but a heart that's willing to open to the needs of others around you. The Holy Spirit will provide everything you might possibly need, if you are willing to be available to be used as a conduit of God's love.

Are you willing?

Think about Allan, walking through that thunderstorm. There are many many more living near you who need a touch of God's grace. Will you let them know they are loved? That they matter? Maybe if we were to focus on finding the unloved and loving them like Jesus did we'd change the communities where we live. I'm not talking about another church program that meets on Monday nights. I'm talking about living to love.

Well?

Pastor-ing

2011-07-06T22:22:00.000-05:00

From It's Like Herding Cats

One of the big eye-openers for me once I became a pastor was the inside look people gave you into their lives. It's a sacred honor I have never taken lightly. There are times, even in a small congregation that several people are going through so much, and you know it, that it feels like a weight.

The Bible tells us to "bear one another's burdens, for in this way we fulfill the law of Christ."

But it breaks my heart.

And the thing is, I'm not wired for this. In the family I grew up in, we keep everything private. If you are hurt, you're supposed to suck it up and keep going. You're supposed to handle it. Well, over the past 12 years, I've talked with several dying people. I've seen marriages implode. I've preached too many funerals. People have shared so many hurts...sometimes you just ache for them.

Tonight, I had a little girl who has already lost her Mom come and tell me her dog died last night. Her Dad woke her up at three in the morning to see her dog in the throes of seizures. She was almost expressionless when she told me about her step-mom sitting in bed with all the dogs toys around her grieving. She said it with no emotion visible. But her hurt was tangible.

It's just too much...

So Father... Abba...

I know some people who are overdue for some joy.
They've been hurt. Some grievously.
Some are still hurting.

Please mend. Please heal. Please make things right.

Maybe this time... thoughts about Pickett's charge

2011-07-03T21:39:00.000-05:00

Growing up a generation ago in Middle Georgia meant that I was presented with a worldview far different than that kids receive today. It was the South, before the advent of air conditioning, when the echoes of the civil war still were heard. Every child in school was taught a particular version of history, long on the heroic actions of people like Robert E. Lee and short on a real examination of why the war was fought.

I devoured the biographies, poured over the battles, and tried to imagine being there. Everything I wanted to know about what the war was like occurred during the first three days in July 1963 - at Gettysburg. I've fought that battle so many times - in turn by turn board games, computer simulations - and watched every movie ever made. And every time I did it I wondered, what was it like to walk out of the trees with General Pickett and walk directly into the hell of the center of the Union lines.

I was not alone. From the pen of William Faulkner...

— William Faulkner , Intruder in the Dust

For every Southern boy fourteen years old, not once but whenever he wants it, there is the instant when it's still not yet two o'clock on that July afternoon in 1863, the brigades are in position behind the rail fence, the guns are laid and ready in the woods and the furled flags are already loosened to break out and Pickett himself with his long oiled ringlets and his hat in one hand probably and his sword in the other looking up the hill waiting for Longstreet to give the word and it's all in the balance, it hasn't happened yet, it hasn't even begun yet, it not only hasn't begun yet but there is still time for it not to begin against that position and those circumstances which made more men than Garnett and Kemper and Armistead and Wilcox look grave yet it's going to begin, we all know that, we have come too far with too much at stake and that moment doesn't need even a fourteen-year-old boy to think This time. Maybe this time with all this much to lose than all this much to gain: Pennsylvania, Maryland, the world, the golden dome of Washington itself to crown with desperate and unbelievable victory the desperate gamble, the cast made two years ago.

But that victory was not to be.

Thank God.

Though the men who fought for the South fought skillfully, bled and died sacrificially, and though most of them would have told you that they fought for Georgia, or Virginia or their home state, the fact that the leaders of the Confederacy decided to incorporate the continuation of slavery in their constitution meant they were on the wrong side of history. They had a valid point about state's rights. Had they acknowledged the wrong that slavery was, and then fought their battles, things could have been different.

The boy I was didn't see that.

All he could see was an open field, unfurled colors, and George Pickett raising his sword. The chance to have your belief in a cause measured against the real possibility of death. To offer your all for a cause.

Funny thing is, God gave me that a few years later. And this cause is a winner.

Clay pots and philosophers on Saturday night

2011-07-02T23:14:00.000-05:00

My beloved just asked me a while ago if we were going to have an uplifting day at New Hope tomorrow. She wanted to know if we'd leave full of joy. I've been preaching through Paul's second letter to the church at Corinth, a biography of sorts for the apostle, who lived a rather... adventurous life.

Looking back through his dayrunner we see that he has to classify just how he was beaten - rods, stones, or fists. He has to remember which shipwreck, and which group was out to kill him and where. There were some things that were constant - pressure, hunger, a sense of weakness. When you look at what the people in Corinth were saying about him - not much to look at, poor communicator, somewhat of a failure - you'd have the tendency to close this biography and go find one of someone more successful.

And yet, Paul was a winner.

Oh sure there were people better suited to the job.

Jesus Christ passed over all of them.

Why?

Because Paul was totally willing to be used to accomplish God's purpose.

He all but admitted he wasn't much.

Ah, but Jesus?

Jesus was the treasure Paul carried around with him in his plain and uninteresting "jar of clay" and before you get to thinking about Aunt Martha's china vase, the word there is for a vessel used for a specific purpose. Could have been anything.

But then it wasn't about Paul at all.

It was about the power of Almighty God released through Paul's willing spirit.

THE SAME SPIRIT THAT EVERY BELIEVER IN CHRIST HAS RIGHT NOW.

Think about it. Annie Dillard has.

On the whole, I do not find Christians, outside the catacombs, sufficiently sensible of the conditions. Does any-one have the foggiest idea what sort of power we so blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? The churches are children playing on the floor with their chemistry sets, mixing up a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning. It is madness to wear ladies' straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews. For the sleeping God may wake some day and take offense, or the waking God may draw us out to where we can never return. (Annie Dillard, Teaching a Stone to Talk, Harper & Row, 1982)

So yes, I will be bringing the joy tomorrow. Like diamonds on black velvet. Grace just shines.

Priceless

2011-07-01T13:51:00.000-05:00

Wednesday's at New Hope are a blur usually. Cooking, practicing, teaching - starts at 2:30 and ends at 8:00. All good things, but it's a lot.

But this Wednesday just past is one of those moments I'll remember.

The fellowship as we did all those things together as family - as New Hope...

Was incredible. It was like Thanksgivings I knew growing up, where you knew each other so well that you laughed about the differences - celebrated them - and were enveloped in warmth - in love.

I would not take anything for being a part of that.

If you miss intimacy like that, may I recommend a place called New Hope?

No Sale Evangelism - Jim Drake's On the Right Track

2011-06-28T19:25:00.000-05:00

Great article by Jim Drake.

A sample:

For follow up this year, we have ADOPTED the kids that came to camp. We are bridging and building relationships with them through cards, birthday’s, events and an introduction to care. We have signed up for one little girl who has expressed a desire to know Christ, but there will be some obstacles (no church relationships here, etc)
Do we give up? No way! We have to be creative how to make a relationship with someone who needs the savior and needs to know love. You think my eyes will be attentive toward the paper now when I see awards and programs? You bet–I have a name on my heart to pray for and to ask the Holy Spirit to give divine interaction. That’s thinking RELATIONSHIP before the sale!

Read it all folks. It's really good.

It's time to admit we can't save anyone and let the Holy Spirit do what only He can do, while we love every single person we come in contact with like they were Jesus.

Stop Funding Church Plants? David Fitch Stirs the Pot

2011-06-28T16:02:00.001-05:00

I have friends who have invested their lives into bringing Jesus' message to people who don't know what it means to be part of a community of people who are loving God and each other and caring for their neighbors - in other words, a church. These friends are real heroes to me. They are church planters. (I'm looking at you Tim Fowler and Joe Gnatek) Bunny and I were involved in a church splant early in our ministry with a group of people called Grace Baptist Church in Juliette Georgia. It was the best of times and the worst of times, but those people were awesome and things happened among us that still give me goosebumps.

So when I share this article from David Fitch, I am not anti-planting. Planting works... when it works. Tim and Joe have proven that as have many others.

But I do think that we need to step back and look at what we are doing and what the real costs and benefits are. Here at New Hope, we run the leanest we can, and will get leaner still when I am teaching. I think we'll do more ministry then, meeting more people and being able to help more. I like the idea he puts forth of teams of people rather than one family, and I like the idea of people working in the community alongside the folks they would do life with in a church.

So I guess I would give Fitch more a listen than most. Click over and check the article out.

STOP FUNDING CHURCH PLANTS and Start Funding Missionaries: A Plea to Denominations

Ed Stetzer On Small Churches

2011-06-28T12:18:00.000-05:00

Ed Stetzer writes in Outreach Magazine:

Church leaders in America also tend to think big is good and bigger is better, but Jesus says that small is reflective of the kingdom of God. It starts as something small, but it will not stay small and, ultimately, it will change everything. A revolutionary movement begins with only a handful of subversives, but eventually expands so widely that it can overthrow a king with an army. The subversive kingdom starts small, but ultimately overwhelms the Devil and his minions when Jesus returns as reigning King, replacing the deepest darkness with brilliant light.

Jesus is unembarrassed, unashamed and unperturbed by describing the Kingdom using small things. That is His point. He says the mustard seed "is the smallest of all the seeds." He is emphasizing the smallness of the kingdom of God. But more to the point, He is describing how small can be subversive.

from this excellent article

At New Hope Valparaiso, we're small. But the impact that we are having in our community would have you think we are bigger than we are. There's no way we should be here. No way we should do what we do. Except God is in it. I could tell you story after story of how He's led, He's provided, He's opened doors for us to be His hands and His feet.

Don't misunderstand. We want to grow. We work hard to let people know and encourage them to come and join us on the journey. We hope to see this mission spread to other people captivated by Jesus' call to follow.

But we're not measuring ourselves against other churches. We're only looking to see how faithful we are to the call. If you are interested in joining a group of people who see God at work every week, come and see us. We'll make room. :)

Eating for Missions :)

2011-06-26T00:27:00.000-05:00

A local restaurant, Cafe Bienville gives its patrons churches a rebate of a percentage of the meal's cost when the customer brings in the Sunday worship bulletin. We love the restaurant anyway so when a bunch of folks from New Hope went there after church a couple weeks ago, it wasn't like we were sacrificing. Baptists like to eat. It's one of our spiritual distinctives.

I actually forgot about our trip until the check came in. Lo and behold it was enough to pay for the food I bought to feed our folks and do 50 take out meals to deliver to the community. So that's what we did. Cafe Bienville fed a bunch more people than they knew they had.

I love that! Local folks help a local business, get blessed by their hospitality and food, and then that local business helps those folks - bless folks with the food they need to make it. May God bless the generous folks at Cafe Bienville.

God's work through New Hope - come join it!

Friday Night Thoughts

2011-06-25T00:46:00.001-05:00

This quote got me thinking...

"I don’t know why life isn’t constructed to be seamless and safe, why we make such glaring mistakes, things fall so short of our expectations, and our hearts get broken and out kids do scary things and our parents get old and don’t always remember to put pants on before they go out for a stroll. I don’t know why it’s not more like it is in the movies, why things don’t come out neatly and lessons can’t be learned when you’re in the mood for learning them, why love and grace often come in such motley packaging."
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)

Our friend Allan had a birthday this week. His 29th.

And in a luminous pair of nights, his friends at New Hope made sure he'll never forget that he's loved. First, on his birthday Tuesday, Pam and JC Roberts made some of Allan's birthday wishes come true by taking him out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's, and then they all went to the rack and rode the Karts. Allan had a blast as did everyone involved.

Then the next night as part of our Wednesday fellowship meal, we had a cake with 29 candles and some gifts.

Yep, I did place those candles too close together. :)

The world would see Allan as "motley packaging" in that he's developmentally disabled. And yet...not only does Allan frequently provide those moments of joy and laughter, but in loving him we learn more about what love really is. New Hope loves Allan deeply.

And that same world might look at New Hope and see a smaller church with less. But on days like today, when I'm looking back and seeing how large the hearts are of many of the people in this church...

Sometimes God wraps His best gifts in "motley packaging."

If you are looking for his monument...

2011-06-22T13:24:00.000-05:00

Sunday's message as we walked through Paul's second letter to the church at Corinth, centered on just what God would have us understand "success" to be. As always, the one who delivers the message never really knows what the ultimate effect of it will be. I can hope that it will affect someone's heart and direct them to a closer walk with God. But I really won't know. I'm just a tradesman, an architect using God's blueprints to help people build lives that will stand the test of time.

The picture above is of St Paul's Cathedral in London. It was taken during the Nazi "blitz" bombings of that great city. I do not overstate when I state that picture above had a galvanizing effect on the English people and their friends around the world during a very dark and bleak time in history. Through the gloom, through the dust and terror of bombs falling - St Paul's stood - as did England. It still stands firm today, in its 200th anniversary year.

The architect of that magnificent structure was Christopher Wren.

Wren received the last contractor's payment in 1711, on Christmas Day.

Years later, he was buried in the cathedral, not in one of the ornate areas, but in a plain grave. On it is inscribed in Latin, this phrase: "If you seek his monument, look around you."

It's fitting for that to be written on Wren's grave, in St. Paul's. For in last Sunday's text, we read much the same sentiment. Just as Wren's grave encourages people to look around them to see what his life was about, Paul suggested anyone who wanted to know about his life's work to look at the people he had ministered to.

2 You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. 3 Christ himself wrote it— not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives— and we publish it. 2 Corinthians 3: 2-3

We who "publish" know in our hearts that we cannot change anyone.

Still, we "architects" rejoice when we see what God has done in people's lives around us, and yes, it hurts when people we've poured our lives into seem to falter or walk away from God's plan. The prayer of every pastor I know is that when our work is done, God will be able to direct us to "look around you" and we will see how what we did mattered.

Going To the Source

2011-06-21T10:06:00.000-05:00

From A Glimpse of New Hope!

Most of you know by now that I'm back in school working on getting my Florida teaching credentials. Yes, I'm still a pastor and will remain one, but to help New Hope reach more people with the love of Christ, to be more effective myself as a missionary, and to better provide for my family, I believe God has led me down this road. Email me and I'll tell you more of the story.

Anyway, I enrolled in what I'd call "teacher Ranger school." I'd say "boot camp", but it's way beyond that, squeezing two years of education courses into SIX MONTHS. It's intense. Parts of it have been the hardest work I've done in a class anywhere, including Mercer University, New Orleans Baptist Seminary, and Rockbridge Seminary. Yes, I've been in school a lot. Send money and I'll keep the dream alive. :)

So it's the final term, and I'm struggling with probably the key to teaching - classroom management. When you read that, depending on your age, you think "paddle" or "detention", or some combination. That's not it at all, in fact that's what happens when your classroom management plan fails. A well executed plan has the students prepped, ready, and able to learn with minimal input from the teacher. In my student teaching, at first I had problems but improved dramatically every day (according to my mentor) by using better strategies and setting a better tone for the classroom from the moment the first child showed up.

Still, in this Classroom Management class - I was struggling.

So I'm reading the textbook, which is an awesome guide loved by teachers all over the world. It's written by a man named Harry Wong. He is the guru of classroom management. No one is more respected or listened to. No one.

An idea popped into my head. "Ask Harry."

After checking to make sure no one else was in the room, and it was just my normal voices inside my head, I wrote an email to Harry. I explained who I was, what I was trying to do, and asked his advice.

Even though he was on the other side of the world in China - he answered, and what he said really help me grasp the concepts.

My pastor hat on now, I could make the comparison to what the Source of all knowledge and wisdom told everyone who follows Christ to do.

God will give us wisdom if we ask for it (James 1:5) If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

So friends, next time you need advice, remember that God wants to help you Himself. Go to the Source.

Mostly

2011-06-20T01:04:00.003-05:00

"It's funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools - friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty - and said 'do the best you can with these, they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do. "
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)

Mostly, they do. But sometimes they don't.

Hard weekend.

Tough trip to Macon to see Curtis Clinard, one of the finest Christian men I have ever known. Not a perfect man, there was only one of those and we nailed him to a cross. But a forgiven man, who in response to that great act of God's grace, has tried for nigh onto 84 years to live it out. And yes, he's old now, but he wasn't that old when we saw him last. It's as if age all of a sudden caught up.

And it broke my beloved's heart and it broke mine.

He's in the house that was made a home by the presence of his bride, Dot. It's obvious from the moment you enter it now that she's not there. And Curtis can only live with her memory, and that's both comfort and pain. Bunny showed him some pictures of family on her laptop Friday night and he was interested and engaged. But when one of his beloved Dot came on the screen, his eyes instantly filled with tears and this man who had a will of steel for so many years, began to sob.

We'd give everything we have to make it right for him. We'd take him in down here and honor him for the rest of our lives with whatever he needed because in doing it, we could partially return what he so freely shared with us.

And he won't leave his memories. So we came home. Shaken.

It was a tough trip.

We left him wanting us to stay longer to come back to the place we left Macon almost twelve years ago for and the church we love and serve. Had a tough night sleep from the emotional toil and physical problems brought on by it. Then got up and went to church to be among friends - to be with family.

But it was a tough day there too. A lot of the family was missing.

So I'm writing this to close the book on the week that was, and praying that God will lead Bunny and me into the week He has prepared for us. I'm praying it's filled with joy. We could use some joy right about now.

"...most of the time, all you have is the moment, and the imperfect love of the people around you."
— Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)

There's Something Special About Boys Being Boys

2011-06-11T11:37:00.000-05:00

Last night I watched a man teach boys how to open and close a pocket knife, sharpen an axe, tie a boat to a dock, make a rope longer by joining two together, and how to handle a bb gun (any firearm really, but in this case Red Ryders) safely.

I saw boys in serious competition with each other tossing rope quoits, and racing wooden turtles on strings. It was as hotly contested as anything the Mavs and Heat are doing lately. (Even more if you are LeBron in the 4th qtr)

It was horribly politically incorrect and part of EXACTLY what boys need to experience as they grow up to be men. Two men who are spending their lives pouring experiences and love into neighborhood boys around New Hope (Joe Stoy and John Anderson)were in their element last night as the RA (Royal Ambassadors) had a lock-in.

Mixed in with the dangerous boy stuff was even more dangerous (if you are rigidly secular) instruction. Joe Stoy told the boys they were here on earth for a purpose, and that purpose could only be found through a relationship with Jesus Christ. He related how 41 years ago, God showed him that his purpose would be to work with boys and teach them to become men. Joe has lived that out ever since. John has worked with boys for years now too, and has raised a fine one in his son Ian.

Seeing those boys last night as they worked hard to learn, helped each other when one struggled with something - and were 100% BOYS!!!!! made me smile - a LOT!

But seeing Joe and John made me thank God for them, for their hearts for Jesus and for those boys...

and for a place called New Hope where boys can grow up to be boys.

My Next Book To Read

2011-06-07T10:36:00.000-05:00

One of the things I have loved about my dive into elementary education has been the rediscovery of children's books. I LOVE THEM! Since it's been a while since Sean was listening to me or Bunny read to him, and since no other munchkins are around us much, I haven't had a chance to read anything other than adult materials. But now that I'm back into the lives of children, I get to read some awesome books. I think "What Are You So Grumpy About?" by Tom Lichtenheld will prove to be one of them

Well, this one may be helpful not just for the child, but for the adult who reads it to them.

And particularly for crabby folks like me.

The author writes: "Every day can be a good day if you know what you are grumpy about." Know your problem. That seems to be wise counsel. Then the appendix lists "Sure cures for grumpiness." $11.19 sure seems cheaper than anger management therapy. :) Just looking at the illustrations makes me smile. For teachers, there is a pdf available with ideas for using the book in the classroom that got me excited just thinking about the kid's reactions. The author believes that telling a good story with a moral lesson woven in it is the key to reaching kids.

“… any ‘moral’ in my books is the by-product of an interesting story. My goal is to do books that kids are naturally attracted to, because kids can sniff-out a lecture a mile away and it sends them running. So, I try not to do books that are blatantly message-driven.”

For children of all ages (including crabby pastors), this book seems like a winner.

Forgiveness - video I wanted to play this morning

2011-06-05T20:02:00.001-05:00

It's hard. Hard to forgive people who hurt you, who hurt your family, your loved ones, your church family. But as Ann Lamott so aptly put it, NOT forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rats to die.

If there is no hope of forgiveness for the worst of sinners, then there is no hope for any of us.

Jesus makes it plain. "I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him."
Luke 17:3-4 (NLT)

From Christ - To Us - To others.

Since we have been forgiven so much, we should be outrageous in our desire to forgive. People should walk away shaking their heads and muttering about how foolish we are to believe that God can change people. Friends, each time we let go of our bitterness and anger in favor of sharing the mercy and grace of Jesus, we find ourselves a little more like Jesus when all is said and done.

And that's what we live for, to be more like Christ. Isn't it?

Going and Growing

2011-06-02T10:08:00.001-05:00

From It's Like Herding Cats

We've been here at New Hope almost 12 years now, and have (I hope) learned a lot about how to live in community. Most of the years have been good ones in terms of seeing the people and the church grow. But the perfect storm hit last year and it really kind of knocked us all for a loop. Military, contractor, and other moves caused us to lose as many people in one year as we had in all the other years combined. Believe me there has been a tremendous amount of soul searching over this unwelcome development.

And yet, I'm beginning to think God is up to something pretty special.

We've been working with other churches to deliver meals on Saturday and then expanded that to do it again ourselves on Wednesday. We've met a lot of people we never would have, and made some inroads. Last Saturday, we showed a free movie with all the movie fixings free too - hot dogs, popcorn, etc. One elderly couple in Valparaiso we deliver to both times walked six tenths of a mile to come. I was outside and saw them - he with his cane, and her with the bright colored flyer in her hand - coming up the street. We welcomed them in with cold bottles of water and made sure they were cared for. Sitting near them was Danielle Chandler and her dad John.

Well we finished the movie and I asked the woman how she liked it. In her limited English she said "We loved it!" We gave them a ride home. As they left the van she said "see you Wednesday."

Monday night I got a call from Bunny just as I dropped Allan off at his house after supper. "Can you meet Danielle Chandler over on Okaloosa? She's trying to deliver some food to the couple who came to the movie and can't find their house."

I did, and walked up to the door with Danielle as she dropped off some Memorial Day burgers. Folks, I've knocked on doors in this neighborhood and people don't greet you like we're greeted now. :)

Seeing Danielle's heart seem to swell as she gave them the food made me smile.

I'll bet God smiled too.

A Memorial Day Reminder

2011-05-30T18:17:00.000-05:00

"The soldier, above all other men, is required to practice the greatest act of religious training--sacrifice. In battle, and in the face of danger and death, he discloses those divine attributes which his Maker gave when He created man in His own image. No physical courage and no greater strength can take the place of the divine help which alone can sustain him."

Douglas MacArthur

The Mosaic That Is New Hope

2011-05-27T14:02:00.000-05:00

Workers Clean A Mosaic Marking the Oldest Church in Israel

Mosaic has several acceptable definitions, but I like this one:

"A combination of diverse elements forming a more or less coherent whole."

And I'm conflicted about whether I like the "combination of diverse elements" part better than the "more or less coherent whole" phrase. I guess since "more or less" makes me smile, I'll go with that.

There are people whose edges are sharp here at New Hope. Some who don't seem to fit anywhere. Others whose edges have been worn smooth by life's cares. Others who seem okay. But you know what?

We're all broken.

All in need of mending.

And the grace of God is our glue.

I can't think of a single person who isn't in need of grace or who New Hope would turn away. Jesus accepted us into His family, so we're going to love as He first loved us.

I Don't Know What Works, But...

2011-05-23T17:21:00.000-05:00

From It's Like Herding Cats

Just by writing that title I've made some of you smile as you enjoy a moment of zen and merriment (can those coexist? - oh well). Lord knows I can remember when I thought I did know. Those were heady days when I thought if I just plugged into this program, or we just advertised this way, the world both believing and unbelieving would stream to our church's doors. Insert Tab "A" into Slot "B" - simple as that.

Well, there were certainly times when something was working, and there are certainly times when nothing seems to work. But cause and effect don't seem to be tied together tightly, if at all. (And yes, I know - never resign on Monday :) )

Yep, don't know WHAT works.

But I know WHO works and is working all the time.

God.

We've been trying to follow God's call to serve the least of these in our area. That took the form for years of giving food, helping with bills, even putting people up for a night or two. Then we felt that God was calling us to do more, so we started helping with "Supper On Saturdays" which is a local food distribution each week. We haven't overwhelmed them with support, but we have had several New Hope folks serve on a regular basis. We've seen things and met people we never would have. Been privileged to pray for needs we'd have never known existed. Then we started doing it by ourselves on Wednesday night.

One of the people we deliver to both on Saturdays and on Wednesday nights called today to share a prayer request. Her cousin was deathly ill, we had been there for her - could we pray?

Yes we can.

Betty is slowed by her age and arthritis, and it takes a while for her to get to her door. So you have to be patient and listen for her feet sliding across the heart pine floors. You can't give up on Betty. She's coming, she's just slow. She likes to talk to whoever delivers her food. She loves those dogs of hers a lot too. You know, I doubt Betty will ever come to New Hope. But I honestly do not think that's why we were placed in her life.

I think it was so Betty would know that God cares enough for her that He would send someone to listen, someone that would hear and understand, someone who would join her in her fears and grief. A few fellow strugglers like us.

That's why she called.

That's why we are here.

To do the work.

Do you know these people?

2011-05-19T21:00:00.000-05:00

Bunny asked me yesterday if I had all the devotionals I have written over the years in one file that I could send her. She was thinking about ways we could take what we are doing now - serving the needs of our community by delivering meals - and add to that a bit of a word about following Jesus and an invitation to come and follow Him with our family at New Hope. I thought it was a good idea that we'll try to get done next week. But then she asked me if I had read them lately. I said that no, I hadn't. "You ought to. You wrote differently then. More tenderly."

Ouch.

Take a look at the picture above again. It was May of 2001. We had been at New Hope less than two years. Taken as we were leaving after worship on SUNDAY NIGHT :), we're looking like we just experienced something pretty good. And even though I'm obviously being strangled by that tie and imprisoned by a suit, when I look at the picture, I have to smile.

That guy though, isn't here anymore.

And I'm not sure how I feel about that, frankly.

We've gone through a lot since that picture was taken. Some of it was so wonderful that it was as if God had reached out and tied a bow on it, saying "with love." Some of it was so gut-wrenching that looking back, I am still amazed at how we made it through. But then that too - that safe passage through the storm - could have been wrapped up and tied with a ribbon by the same hand and carry the same saying.

In some ways, things affect me more now than they did back then. I'm just not writing as often. I'm so busy with church, school, work etc. that the time I had for silent reflection has shrunk. And those walks I used to have around the bayou with my beloved friend Henley the Great Dane stopped when we lost him. So...

Do this for me.

Pray.

I'm not a great writer. But I can write and on occasion God uses it. While the guy in that photo isn't coming back, the guy here now, who is far more aware of just how amazing grace is - who treasures every day he wakes up and sees Bunny there beside him - who thinks he actually loves his boys more today than when they were born - who counts being New Hope's pastor as joy - that guy wants to do whatever God can use as long as he has breath. Pray that I would.

Thank you

Small Town Smiles

2011-05-17T11:35:00.000-05:00

From It's Like Herding Cats

Bunny and I attended the Lewis School band's Spring concert last Thursday night to see some of our kids perform. All of them did great. We've attended a bunch of these over the years, and I never leave without giving thanks to God for letting us be a part of the lives of these kids and their families. And really, of the "life" of this area.

It's different here in military communities.

Not everyone is military. But so many area that even events as simple and as American as a school band concert give you glimpses of what life is like for those who protect us, and those in their families who give so much behind the scenes. There's no way we can possibly thank them enough.

There was a dad with a camera at the concert. He, his wife and two little girls were sitting on the front row. He was fit and his haircut said he was probably Army or Marines. His wife was also young and seemed happy. Dark hair falling in ringlets and a wide smile made the littlest girl a concert in her own right as God was singing "look what I've given!" The dad was working hard trying to get a picture of his beginning band student. Crouching on the floor so low as he did, I wondered if he had used the same skills earlier in Afghanistan or elsewhere.

The flutes did a special Disney piece that the band director said one of his students came up with. He made a a point of recognizing her, saying that her family was getting ready to move to Kentucky. Immediately I thought "Ft. Campbell?" because several of the Explosive Ordinance guys we have known went there after graduation.

I go to these concerts, or any of the school events really, and come away knowing how blessed I am to be a pastor and to be part of this great experiment in freedom called America. Small town smiles are awesome.

And now, I share videos Bunny took at the concert. Enjoy!

The beginning band

The symphonic band

Monday Matters

2011-05-16T22:15:00.002-05:00

Had a kind of tough day yesterday. Since I'm a pastor, you should interpret that to mean that Church didn't go well. Wasn't for lack of effort on the part of any of our leaders. We were here, prepped and ready to go. And I had a sermon I was excited about because I believed it had real potential to help people move closer to God and farther away from their fears. Music went well - we have put more time and effort into that lately than ever (by we I mean Bunny, the band, and the vocalists who practice hard).

But for whatever and a variety of reasons, turn out was low. God sent us some visitors or it would have been even lower. Thanks, Father.

Now I'm going to write something I don't want you to misunderstand. So I'll preface it by saying that I know that the Holy Spirit was here and the size of the crowd didn't affect that. And that since I've been doing this for quite a while now, having preached to crowds of hundreds and in one memorable Sunday evening - to just TWO, numbers are just numbers and I'm going to give it everything I have every time I get the opportunity believing that God will use it and whoever and however many are here deserve everything I have to give. They got it.

Now back to what matters. When you aren't here in church, whether here is New Hope, the Crystal Cathedral, Mosaic LA, FBC whatever and wherever... it hurts the cause of Christ. I am not going legalistic on you. Just stating the fact that your attendance matters a great deal - more than you know. That person you would have been sitting by needed a listening ear and yours wasn't present. Your voice would have made a difference too during the singing. Yes, even your voice. That kid you always speak to never got his weekly dose of encouragement. The little old lady you compliment left without one. You were missed.

When you aren't here, we are less than we ought to be.

Priorities. Priorities.

If you only knew.

Thank A Teacher Month

2011-05-11T22:31:00.000-05:00

There were several moments I remember from my educational pursuits. A third grade teacher who read to us, my fourth grade teacher's kindness to an odd little boy with severe allergies, meeting a new friend in Junior High during desegregation, flunking out of college for lack of effort, going back as an adult husband and father and making straight A's. I've already written about Dr. Catherine Futral so I need to testify to the power of a math teacher to dispel fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

Hazel Struby wasn't a full time professor at Mercer University. She was what they called "adjunct faculty", which I'm sure to the administration meant "not a tenured educator", but in my experience then and many times since to me has meant "knows what they are talking about and loves to teach it." Kind of a play on the old "those that can't..." rip on the teaching profession - Hazel Struby (and many others like her I have known) both could DO and could TEACH thank you very much.

She had taught in the public schools, and in a local private school, but now and then taught at Mercer, helping people solve the riddle of Math. Well friends, Math to me was more of a primal fear than a riddle, because in my last encounters with it, both of which happened in my immature youth... Math had whipped my butt. I had become, after a very promising start all through elementary and junior high school, Math's whipping boy. I was that team the Harlem Globetrotters played every week. Looked good on paper - filled with former college stars - but somehow managed to lose every single stinking time. Geometry - F, Trig - F, College Trig - F. I gave up on Math, but here I was in college trying to get a Business degree to help my family prosper and make my wife and my Mother proud.

"I can't do Math" I said.

Hazel heard all that from me and laughed out loud. Not just an "I'm amused" laugh, but an "you are the funniest thing I have ever seen" laugh.

She told me I was looking at Math the wrong way. "Math is a puzzle begging to be solved. It lays clues all over the place, never acts in any way other than the way it always has. Math is like those crooks on the Darwin awards. You can whip it with half your brain tied behind your back - if you are willing to work. I guarantee it."

I was.

I don't remember the tipping point, but somewhere that first term I "got it."

Hazel helped me banish the fear and I never looked back - except like today - in thanks.

Mother's Day Reflection

2011-05-07T21:10:00.000-05:00

On July 15th, 1920, on the wrong side of the tracks down on Roff Avenue near "Mr Willingham's Textile Mill", a little girl was born to Henry and Bertie Bowden. Her parents were millworkers who had moved from the farm to the city in search of a better life. Each had lost a spouse to death before they met each other, and the family was a blend of Fosters and Bowdens.

The little girl grew to adulthood in that shotgun house, becoming the first of her family to get a high school diploma. During those years, she saw a sister die in a fire, a brother killed when his car stalled on the railroad tracks that ran parallel to the road. When she was 12, her father was hit by a car and died the next day. Hurt came often to Roff Avenue. The family grew tight - they had to. Somehow the widow "Bertie" raised all their kids and another couple of girls besides. Lodie was the big sister now, and she went to school and worked in the mill too. Whatever it took to help, she did.

She met a young man who lived in the same mill village, and just as World War Two began, they married. He was sent away, and in a year or so, she enlisted herself. They saw each other once during the War, in Manila.

After the war, they had both changed. Everything had.

They divorced, and then love found them again, and they remarried.

One day they got the news she was pregnant with twins. Nine months later they got the news the babies wouldn't survive. Yet when the twins were born, (my older brothers Michael and Mitchell) due to complications from my Mother carrying them too long, they both died within a week of their birth.

Devastated doesn't begin to describe what my parents experienced.

My mother is in heaven now, but while she lived she very seldom ever talked about it. Oh, she might mention "the twins", but briefly, and quickly move on. It was a deep, lasting hurt that never really went away.

So many people never recover from such a wound. Marriages, even whole lives, just wither and die.

But not when you find the will to start over.

My Mother told me she found that will in Jesus Christ. The picture at the beginning of this post shows the back inside cover of a Bible she carried during her service as a WAC during WW2. In it, she identified with Jesus as Lord and Savior. I never knew there was a time when she didn't follow Jesus.

One day we were talking, and I brought up the loss of my brothers. She reached over and opened up her Bible and read me this.

10 Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

She told me she took God at His Word and started over.

I cannot imagine how much courage it took for her to do that. But whatever amount it took, her God supplied it.But a couple who had seen so much pain and held so much heartache, just wouldn't give up hope. One year later, I was born - the young woman was my Mother - Lodie Marie Bowden Wilson.

No other person had more influence on who I became than she did. Not one day in the years we shared on this earth did I not wake up knowing that my Mother loved me deeply.

When you are the recipient of love, like a Mother's love, most of the time you are blind to it. Days come and go, sacrifices are made for you. Some you might realize but poorly comprehend. Others you miss completely. When your children come along, understanding does too, and then when the giver passes away, the gifts are made visible in the loss of the one who gave them.

I cannot give her anything now. All I can do is give to others as I have been given to. When I was reading Philippians the other day, I came across this. Those of you who read it, do as I have done today and think about your life, and what someone years after you are gone will write about it in review. Will it be God-honoring? Will it be praiseworthy? What will be your legacy? Will you have pointed your family to Jesus? Can you write as Paul does here?

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9 NIV

Is your life worthy of being emulated? Are you living the life you'd want everyone to? If not, make the courageous choice and change direction. Follow Jesus.

Teacher Appreciation

2011-05-06T19:08:00.000-05:00

It's "Teacher Appreciation" time in the US, which doesn't seem to be getting near the publicity here that "cut the teacher's pay 3%, increase the class sizes, and take away any job security they had" did. (Yes, that's sarcasm - thank my English teachers for that.) It's been a tough few months for all those who have devoted their lives to helping others learn and grow.

And yet, they went right on teaching.

They crafted lessons, sometimes having to make several changes to better reach children who struggle with learning disabilities, physical issues, or a lack of English.
They created and gave tests, or "assessments" as they are called now, because their purpose is to help determine what each child knows now, so that the teacher can change his/her instruction for better results later.
They graded hundreds of papers. I was grading spelling last week and after a while I wasn't sure myself how to spell some of the words. The teacher in the class laughed and handed me the list of words saying "that happens to all of us."

They kept trying to do one of the hardest jobs there is - relentlessly seeking to improve what they do in order to help others learn.

Teachers take what society sends them. Today's kids come from everywhere on the globe. When I subbed at Choctaw last month, I had students from Russia, Indonesia, Colombia, and Mexico as well as those who were born here. Most of those they teach are children of divorce. Some are homeless. Some come to school hungry, sleepy, sick. Some have parents that are extremely interested and supportive. Others do not. And yet the teacher takes them as they are and tries their best every day to help them learn. I've been amazed to learn just how much each teacher I have worked with knows about their students and their home lives.

Teachers care.

Our church is blessed to have two public school teachers as part of our family of faith. (as well as several people headed in that direction :) ) Amy Anderson and Diane Weech are true servants and followers of Christ who are living out their calling every day in our public schools. They are deserving of praise for what they do. And they serve through New Hope as well, each contributing through their church family their talents and time.

So THANK YOU's go out to Diane and Amy as well as to all the other teachers who help see boys and girls grow up to be good citizens and lifelong learners.

And yes, if you can read this, thank a teacher.

Living By Faith

2011-04-30T23:37:00.000-05:00

"We may be struggling at church, but we are doing more than when we were taking in 3 times more money and having lots more in attendance. It sorta boils down to what you do with what you got. "
- a New Hope member to me in an email

That lead me to put a blurb in the New Hope bulletin on Easter Sunday that said something like this: "In the last week, members of New Hope Baptist Church have delivered nearly one hundred meals in our community. We have fed and taught 35 children right here. We have sent money out to Malawi to help women raise their families out of poverty and to Christian Flights International to help rebuild an orphanage in Haiti.

If you want to invest your time, talents and resources in a church that loves God with everything we've got and loves our neighbors the same way - then come and join us."

I've been in churches when they were struggling, and they tend to withdraw from the community and "hunker down" or go into "survival mode." We've doubled down on the mission God gave us.

And we're trying to figure out what we're going to do with the $64.32 we had left as of Wednesday night. Not a misprint.

But neither is this.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7 (NLT)

It's times like this that those words like the ones above - well, you have to make a decision: Do you really believe them or not? Are you willing to live by faith?

We are.

Good Friday 2011

2011-04-26T10:16:00.001-05:00

We've had a Good Friday service each year since we came to New Hope. Every year it's one of the ones I remember the most. Bunny encouraged me to put the text and the video links up here so others could see what we experienced. I can tell you that reading the Scripture from Isaiah is one of the hardest things I ever have to do. It just kills me to read that.

We began after I briefly explained the service and how we'd move from a look at sin to God's remedy for it in Christ Jesus. I prayed and then we played the video "Oh My God" - it starts out slow but the snapshots of how life is for so many is just profoundly affecting to me. Christ died so that we might have LIFE - not guilt, shame, or enslavement to our sins. We leave Good Friday service knowing the problem and the cost of its solution. I pray we left willing to be God's instruments of love and peace in this world.

"Oh My God"

¹ Who has believed our message? To whom will the LORD reveal his saving power? ² My servant grew up in the LORD's presence like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. ³ He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we did not care.

     ⁴ Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins! ⁵ But he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! ⁶ All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us all.

     ⁷ He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. ⁸ From prison and trial they led him away to his death. But who among the people realized that he was dying for their sins—that he was suffering their punishment? ⁹ He had done no wrong, and he never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man's grave.

     ¹⁰ But it was the LORD's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD's plan will prosper in his hands. ¹¹ When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. ¹² I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among those who were sinners. He bore the sins of many and interceded for sinners.

Isaiah 53:1-12 (NLT)

"The Crucifixion, A Medical Perspective"

SECOND READING

²⁷ Some of the governor's soldiers took Jesus into their headquarters and called out the entire battalion. ²⁸ They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him. ²⁹ They made a crown of long, sharp thorns and put it on his head, and they placed a stick in his right hand as a scepter. Then they knelt before him in mockery, yelling, "Hail! King of the Jews!" ³⁰ And they spit on him and grabbed the stick and beat him on the head with it. ³¹ When they were finally tired of mocking him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him again. Then they led him away to be crucified.

The Crucifixion

³² As they were on the way, they came across a man named Simon, who was from Cyrene, and they forced him to carry Jesus' cross. ³³ Then they went out to a place called Golgotha (which means Skull Hill). ³⁴ The soldiers gave him wine mixed with bitter gall, but when he had tasted it, he refused to drink it.

³⁵ After they had nailed him to the cross, the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice. ³⁶ Then they sat around and kept guard as he hung there. ³⁷ A signboard was fastened to the cross above Jesus' head, announcing the charge against him. It read: "This is Jesus, the King of the Jews."

Matt 27:27-37 (NLT)

"How Deep the Father's Love"

THIRD READING

At noon, darkness fell across the whole land until three o'clock. ⁴⁶ At about three o'clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

     ⁴⁷ Some of the bystanders misunderstood and thought he was calling for the prophet Elijah. ⁴⁸ One of them ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, holding it up to him on a stick so he could drink. ⁴⁹ But the rest said, "Leave him alone. Let's see whether Elijah will come and save him."

     ⁵⁰ Then Jesus shouted out again, and he gave up his spirit. ⁵¹ At that moment the curtain in the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. The earth shook, rocks split apart, ⁵² and tombs opened. The bodies of many godly men and women who had died were raised from the dead ⁵³ after Jesus' resurrection. They left the cemetery, went into the holy city of Jerusalem, and appeared to many people.

     ⁵⁴ The Roman officer and the other soldiers at the crucifixion were terrified by the earthquake and all that had happened. They said, "Truly, this was the Son of God!"

Matt 27:45-54 (NLT)

PRAYER BEFORE COMMUNION

Communion

"It's Friday. But Sunday's Coming"

It's Been 9 Years Today

2011-04-25T13:25:00.000-05:00

"You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."

— Anne Lamott

Psalm 34:18 (Msg)

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;

if you're kicked in the gut, He'll help you catch your breath.

It's been nine years today.

And right now my mind is flooded with might have beens. So many things are obvious blessings in my life - my wife, my boys, what God has called me to do, that I can get busy, and some of the hurt goes away. But today it's nine years, and all I can think of is what we've missed - of what is absent that we had hoped would be here.
She would have had her father's eyes.

There were times when he was a little boy that we'd go off alone - to the store, to the Krystal, to Grandmother's, that I could look over in the seat next to me and see him looking at me. He'd ask questions, I'd try to answer, and the openness - the trust - the love in those eyes just melted me. Even today, we can be having a conversation and those eyes look over with a twinkle that reminds me - there's a little boy in there. That little boy who wanted to know, was willing to listen, and who took it all in.

Yep. She would have had her father's eyes.

Her smile would have lit up a room, just like her mother's does. There are a lot of ways to measure people. My own personal preference is to look at their impact on others. Some people enter a room and suck all the joy out of it. When they smile it just doesn't look right, like cow horns on a Mercedes. They put it on to try to give the right response, but it isn't who they are.

Her mother is tiny. But when she smiles - she's huge.

I can see tiny feet beating the earth, little white tennis shoes slapping it as they come, bearing a smile so brilliant it warms this cold earth. She grins from ear to ear, and all you feel is joy. When she comes in, so does sunshine.

She'd have her mother's smile.

By her ninth birthday, we'd have covered all the important things. Who loves you best, why Grandaddy's hair is gray, the funniest cartoons, how to eat Krystals and Nuways, and how come Grandmother hugs so hard. We'd have begun noticing more of the world and the questions would be getting more difficult. She'd have impacted my wallet and stolen my heart. Again, and again, and again, and again.

Oh, and about her heart. She'd have had her grandmother's.

I have known literally thousands of people over the years. Some were self-contained, others - self-absorbed. A few seemed to enjoy this life, and others endured it. Many were bright, even brilliant. Others caught the eye, or in some other way made it through the clutter of a life's experiences to my heart and my memory. But none have loved me like Bunny has. For no one I've ever known loves that deeply.

Nine years ago, as we rolled up calendars toward April 29th, the expected day of joy, our home was filled with baby clothing, baby toys, baby... stuff. People around us shared in that and we added our own items. I remember visiting Target with Bunny and hearing her say a dozen times, "won't that look so pretty on Ana?" The only girl in a string of boys, the only girl in her own home full of men - young and older - the possibility to hold, to love, to care, to dress!!! a baby girl was excitement personified.

And when the days stopped for Ana, her Grandmother didn't stop loving. She found a way to love beyond the pain in helping her daughter-in-love deliver her baby. As I watched Bunny hold that small and delicate baby in her arms, weeping and talking to her as if she could hear... it was the greatest expression of love I've ever seen - through the deepest heartache we've ever experienced.

She'd have had her Grandmother's heart.

For me, I don't know what I could have given her. It certainly wouldn't be material things, and her mom and dad would certainly taught her the A, B, C's and enlightened her on them 'Dawgs and Georgia politics. So I guess she'd have had my prayers each day from infancy to adulthood, and my shoulder to cry on and my ears to hear.

It's been nine years today. Nine long years. Her absence hurts our hearts. But one day...

We will see her as only our heart can see her now.

Honestly?

2011-04-24T10:22:00.001-05:00

In our family, we do our level best not to lie. There may be times when what we say turns out not to be true, but that's an error, not a lie. So we don't use terms like "To tell you the truth" and "well, honestly" very often. Now that means that we have to carefully consider each word, and decide each time whether to speak at all, answer with what we know to be true, or lead the conversation in a different direction. But we don't lie.

There are times when you just get trapped. A new mom brings her baby up and someone says "isn't it beautiful?" and looks over at you. Well beloved, I've got two sons who were babies once, and they weren't always beautiful. After all, they have my genes too, not just those of my beautiful wife. There were stages when they were... in transition. :)

You still loved them, but they weren't beautiful.

I write all that to get to this - It hurts when I hear people say "I'm not going to be there on Easter." Easter matters. If a Christian would rather be at the beach than in worship of God on Easter, then I must be way off on what God expects our hearts to be attuned to.

It's the spirit of the age, I guess. Preferences trump piety. The Body of Christ isn't something you invest your life into, for you it's another charm, trinket, or badge you put on when you feel like it. Your local church isn't the place God called you into to strengthen, to serve through, to be a part of - for you it's just one of the franchises and if another has a better menu, you move there.

All over the world, people are gathering today even though by the very act of doing so, they risk death. In Iraq, in Nigeria, in Indonesia, in India, in China and other places, Christians recognize that celebrating the resurrection is important - is something you HAVE to do - "we love, because He first loved us" reaction to Jesus' actions on our behalf. They see their brothers and sisters as indispensable parts of a whole community of faith that's worth investing everything into for as long as God needs them there.

Love you guys, but honestly, this - Easter is optional, my church doesn't matter behavior isn't beautiful.

It's wrong.

It hurts.

Giving Your Life Away

2011-04-24T08:16:00.000-05:00

"The healing of evil - scientifically or otherwise - can be accomplished only by the love of individuals.A willing sacrifice is required. The individual healer must allow his or her own soul to become the battleground. He or she must sacrificially absorb the evil.

Then what prevents the destruction of the soul? If one takes the evil into one's heart, like a spear, how can one's goodness still survive? What will be achieved beyond some meaningless trade-off? I cannot answer this in language other than mystical. I can only say that there is a mysterious alchemy where the victim becomes the victor.

As C.S. Lewis wrote,"When a willing victim who committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards."

I do not know how this occurs. But I know that it does...

Whenever this happens there is a slight shift in the balance of power in the world."
- from People of the Lie, M. Scott Peck

Resurrection!

2011-04-24T01:41:00.000-05:00

"I doubt it."

Those might be the words you live by.

People have let you down so many times that when you catch a glimpse of hope, or someone seems to come into your life that gives you an indication that things might be different - that your life could change - the first words that come to your mind are "I doubt it."

You aren't alone in that. And it's okay to begin your journey with doubts. God knows where you are going, even if you don't. Just start walking with Him.

Bring your doubts with you.

One thing I am constantly thankful for are the realistic pictures I get when I read about people's lives as shown to us in the Bible. Despite all the people we sometimes see in church making constant efforts to present a plastic "front" to their lives, when we look at the Bible, we see a quite different person emerging. One who is real in their fears, in their worries, and in their doubts.

I'm reading last night, and I come across Abraham and Sarah. "God bless them", my mother would have said. They were so mixed up at times and made so many mistakes along the way.

An example:

Then one of them said, "About this time next year I will return, and your wife Sarah will have a son." Now Sarah was listening to this conversation from the tent nearby. And since Abraham and Sarah were both very old, and Sarah was long past the age of having children, she laughed silently to herself. "How could a worn-out woman like me have a baby?" she thought. "And when my master--my husband--is also so old?"

Then the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, 'Can an old woman like me have a baby?' Is anything too hard for the LORD? About a year from now, just as I told you, I will return, and Sarah will have a son." Sarah was afraid, so she denied that she had laughed. But he said, "That is not true. You did laugh." Gen 18:10-15 (NLT)

And that's where it ends. We are left with a picture of a woman who doubts that God can do what He says He will do, who laughs almost in His face - is caught doing it, then denies it to His face.

Not a pretty picture.

We have several slogans around here at New Hope, but perhaps my favorite is a quote from an old saint named A.W. Tozer. I'm convinced it has helped all of us as a church look past our doubts and focus on God's promises. Tozer wrote:

"Anything God has ever done, He can do now.
Anything He has ever done anywhere, He can do here.
Anything He has ever done for anyone, He can do for you."

Would Sarah have said that? Maybe not at first, but she did grow to believe God could. After the doubt, came a time of reflection, and a realization that God was able.

Later we read:

Sarah, too, had faith, and because of this she was able to become a mother in spite of her old age, for she realized that God, who gave her his promise, would certainly do what he said. Heb 11:11 (Living)

Friends, I'm writing this to you today to tell you that God has not changed.

But some of us need to.

Embrace the idea that God loves you, and that He can do whatever He needs to do to help you see that.

He can lift you when you are weak.

He can still your heart when you are fearful.

He can demonstrate His power anyway He chooses.
He can raise the dead!

He can do that in your life, in the life of those around you, in your community, in a church.

Is anything too hard for the Lord?

Jesus is risen! Just as He said.

Never Forget the Cost of Easter

2011-04-23T11:15:00.000-05:00

He was an old man by now, the weight of years upon him. Carrying a metal bucket full of fresh shrimp, every Sunday without fail, Captain Eddie made his way down to Crandon park in his Key Biscayne home. While others fished, he fed the gulls. As he walked down the pier, it was almost as if they knew he was coming.

Hundreds flew all around him, screeching loudly, causing some to wish Captain Eddie would quit. But he fed them every Sunday until just before he passed away.

He remembered.

I hadn't thought about Eddie Rickenbacker for a long time until today. He was a WW1 ace for America, who went back into the service to help anyway he could during WW2. On a last minute hop via B-17 from one island to another, his plane went down. Though the Navy searched a wide area, the men weren't found and currents pushed their rafts outside the search area.

Days went by with no food, and the men, by now hundreds of miles from land, began to wonder if they'd be rescued in time. So they conserved their energy, caught rainwater in their clothing, and prayed. Captain Eddie had covered his head with his aviator's cap and dozed off, but was awakened by a strong whisper from his friends. "There's a bird on your head!"

Quickly, Eddie caught the seagull, and giving thanks to God, the men killed it and ate, and used the leftovers to catch enough fish to survive until they were rescued. A day or two later, another gull landed and was caught. Captain Eddie asked, "Don't we have enough bait?" And in an amazing act of faith, they let it go.

Two days later they were rescued. Their lives were saved by God through a gull. Captain Eddie never forgot to say "thanks."

We observed Good Friday last night with our friends at New Hope. It was a darker service as we tried to come to grips why who we were before Christ and why He had to die. Our sanctuary wasn't full.

But across the street, the Little League was overflowing.

Was looking at a site yesterday for a festival in Caravelle. It was this weekend - Saturday and Sunday. Easter Sunday.

My friend Scooter Noland, in Costa Rica learning Spanish before heading to Venezuela with his family as missionaries wondered in an email to me about whether we here in the US have some things backwards. I'm quoting him below:

Living in another culture (Costa Rica) has really opened my eyes as to how other see the USA. Other than the headlines of the USA and gay marriages, it is interesting in a land of 98% Roman Catholicism, lost by most standards, that they celebrate the life and death of Jesus in such a HUGE way.

Today life is lifeless as ALL of the businesses have closed and everybody has gone to mass to watch dramatic presentations and take part in processionals which include scripture, prayer, fasting, and the like. These days are so significant to the people here that $$ is nothing compared to thinking about the life and death of Jesus for a solid week.

In the land of "In God we Trust" we celebrate the holidays of dead presidents and liberators and think very little of the Greatest Liberator and King ever. - end quote

Have you paused today to remember Jesus Christ?

Have you taken time to remember what He did for you?

Will you be in worship on Resurrection Sunday, and bring everyone you can with you?

Or have you forgotten His sacrifice and its cost?

Great Children's Books

2011-04-22T22:47:00.000-05:00

Just finished reading a stack of children's books that Diane Weech and Amy Anderson loaned me for one of my classes. I've reading thousands of books during my life and many children's books are included in that. We're a family of readers. We read to the boys and they're readers still.

I asked Amy and Diane for some books that reflected diversity and multiculturalism. If that sounds dull, you could not be farther from the truth. They were really, really good.

Pink and Say, by Patricia Polacco is a book set in the Civil War that tells the story of two Union soldiers, one black and one white, as they make their way back to their units. Not a happy ending - but a true one. Great story.

One Candle, by Eve Bunting, is a Hanukkah story. Beautifully illustrated, it tells one family's tradition set in the bigger observance of Hanukkah.

Knots on A Counting Rope, by Bill Martin, Jr. and John Archambault, tells the story of a blind Navajo boy. I got to watch the Reading Rainbow dramatization of it while I was observing a 5th grade class, and was enthralled by the story. Highly recommended.

Just Plain Fancy, by Patricia Polacco, is a story about an Amish girl who is growing up and learning where she fits among their traditions. Really good.

David Goes to School by David Shannon is just awesome. The illustrations are so compelling that I would think any child would love (and maybe identify with the little boy) the book.

Skippyjon Jones, Lost In Spice by Judy Schachner is in a class by itself. It's just funny. I'd watch the series if they brought it to TV. The website is interactive and I would think that kids would love it.